She sold some mushroom tea, she sold some ecstacy..
My birthday was okay.
We ate nachos and sandwiches, we smoked a bowl or two, I drank some banana run-grape soda drinks, and we watched Invader Zim for a while, and I fell asleep.
Thing is, I woke up unhappy. A lot of times I hate myself and I push people away from me by telling them how much I hate them or just stupid things, just so I won't have to worry about disappointing them, i suppose..it has never failed. I cannot be loved. Maybe. I want to. Maybe. I'm not sure. But whatever. It does not make me happy to be that way, but yet I persist. I don't know why.
After we made it through that (fun times, those), we got high in the bathroom with the shower on and it was pretty funny--imagining his roommate getting pissed off that we were having shower-sex and we'd be all 'nah, we were just getting stoned,' Woulda been funny to me. I wanted to get the day-old nachos we had (eew, we eat like hobos) and float the little plastic bowl in the tub with us. Then I came up with the idea that we would make good subjects for independent films or bad indie films, or even those strange alternative photographs that are popular with the 20-something generation of radical (strange) people (AAAH!! THATS ME!!). like the blue haired noseringed people who are usually not heterosexual. (thats not me.) Theyre neat. Anyway, we'd just sit there in the bathtub getting stoned and then some photographer would take black and white photographs of us. It would be conceptually brilliant.
and
just getting high and sitting in the tub.
I invented so many cool things, too. I was so funny. So many ways that we could get rich off of that weird generation that we're a part of..the one that just sits and looks for bizarre things in life because they're beautiful. Those people. Yeah.
It was funny, too. I was talking about my brother and how he always ate the green freezie pops and that pissed me off so whenever my mom would buy freezie pops I'd take all the green ones and hide them in the back of the freezer under the ground beef and whatnot, and I'd come walking through the living room in the heat of the summer with a big, green freezie pop and he would be sitting in the recliner with a nintendo controller in one hand and a spoonfull of peanut butter in the other hand and he'd be like "Whurred ja get that?" ('cause that's how he talks.) and I'd be like "Ice cream man came." (Ice cream man doesnt even know our house is on the map, we live so far away from everything.) And he'd be like "Ah missed 'im!" and I'd be like, "well hang on, lemme go chase him down for you!" and I'd walk into the kitchen and walk back out with a green freezie pop for him. He never caught on to the fact that I didnt actually go to the ice cream man, I just went to the kitchen. I bet that really he did, but he had his green freezie pop so it didnt matter where it came from.
Oh, and then I talked about--damn. I forgot. See? Drugs are bad for you. It was another amusing story I told. Meh. Oh well.
I saw a green hippie bus today with curtains and a poster of John Lennon from "Imagine" in one of the windows. I wanted to be their groupies. I think it was a band or something. I like living in a hippie town, I like King Street and Sanford Mall, but I don't like it here. What I need to do is get myself a bus and a guitar and drive around the country--I'm halfway there. I have a guitar. There would be no comittment, which I am realizing I am afraid of. No job, no specific people except the ones i bring along, i suppose..no place to be. God. That is what I need to do with my life. Make naked hippie-babies, and drive out to the middle of nowhere and just wear skirts with no shirt. Probably never get married. Just drive around. Yeah, I have no real goals, do I?
We ate nachos and sandwiches, we smoked a bowl or two, I drank some banana run-grape soda drinks, and we watched Invader Zim for a while, and I fell asleep.
Thing is, I woke up unhappy. A lot of times I hate myself and I push people away from me by telling them how much I hate them or just stupid things, just so I won't have to worry about disappointing them, i suppose..it has never failed. I cannot be loved. Maybe. I want to. Maybe. I'm not sure. But whatever. It does not make me happy to be that way, but yet I persist. I don't know why.
After we made it through that (fun times, those), we got high in the bathroom with the shower on and it was pretty funny--imagining his roommate getting pissed off that we were having shower-sex and we'd be all 'nah, we were just getting stoned,' Woulda been funny to me. I wanted to get the day-old nachos we had (eew, we eat like hobos) and float the little plastic bowl in the tub with us. Then I came up with the idea that we would make good subjects for independent films or bad indie films, or even those strange alternative photographs that are popular with the 20-something generation of radical (strange) people (AAAH!! THATS ME!!). like the blue haired noseringed people who are usually not heterosexual. (thats not me.) Theyre neat. Anyway, we'd just sit there in the bathtub getting stoned and then some photographer would take black and white photographs of us. It would be conceptually brilliant.
and
just getting high and sitting in the tub.
I invented so many cool things, too. I was so funny. So many ways that we could get rich off of that weird generation that we're a part of..the one that just sits and looks for bizarre things in life because they're beautiful. Those people. Yeah.
It was funny, too. I was talking about my brother and how he always ate the green freezie pops and that pissed me off so whenever my mom would buy freezie pops I'd take all the green ones and hide them in the back of the freezer under the ground beef and whatnot, and I'd come walking through the living room in the heat of the summer with a big, green freezie pop and he would be sitting in the recliner with a nintendo controller in one hand and a spoonfull of peanut butter in the other hand and he'd be like "Whurred ja get that?" ('cause that's how he talks.) and I'd be like "Ice cream man came." (Ice cream man doesnt even know our house is on the map, we live so far away from everything.) And he'd be like "Ah missed 'im!" and I'd be like, "well hang on, lemme go chase him down for you!" and I'd walk into the kitchen and walk back out with a green freezie pop for him. He never caught on to the fact that I didnt actually go to the ice cream man, I just went to the kitchen. I bet that really he did, but he had his green freezie pop so it didnt matter where it came from.
Oh, and then I talked about--damn. I forgot. See? Drugs are bad for you. It was another amusing story I told. Meh. Oh well.
I saw a green hippie bus today with curtains and a poster of John Lennon from "Imagine" in one of the windows. I wanted to be their groupies. I think it was a band or something. I like living in a hippie town, I like King Street and Sanford Mall, but I don't like it here. What I need to do is get myself a bus and a guitar and drive around the country--I'm halfway there. I have a guitar. There would be no comittment, which I am realizing I am afraid of. No job, no specific people except the ones i bring along, i suppose..no place to be. God. That is what I need to do with my life. Make naked hippie-babies, and drive out to the middle of nowhere and just wear skirts with no shirt. Probably never get married. Just drive around. Yeah, I have no real goals, do I?