quick update
Okies so i guess i shoudl let you know whats going on. hmmm long and short of it today has been shite utter utter shite, didnt leave bed till 6, i now a beautifully carved fuck up on my right inner hip, there goes my clean streak, i had to take a diazepam after cutting cos it didnt help, i was still a lil werided out after that. i;ve realised that carving words doesnt hgace the effect it used to, not since i did the inside of my wrist. now i;m craving that blood flow and i know i cant follow through with it and its killing me, i want it sooooo bad. argh gta stop thinking about it. anyway yea so tehers that. about to go aweay for a week, not truely looking forward to it, scared i'll break fdown away from home, i'm taking all my diazepam with me just in case and i of course always have my back up blade on me. hopefully i wont need either. ooo talking of my diazepam it didnt put me to sleep this time round, it just really melloowed me out, ok so i felt a lil empty nbut i wasnjt wantiung to go flying through tyhe window anymore. which is good, it means i can take it during the day, the hellsing soundtrack lis was sending kinda arrived today, i was hiding in bed so the postman couldnt leave it :-( gonna try and get it tom morn. alos gta get eyebrows done and buyy bday cards. argh too much to do. i have packled tho, i guess thats one thing. ummm anything else to say? o yea i got a text from andy last night, asking how i was, i gave some rteplies back ha=vent heard from him since, guessing he was just drubnk. ah well, i;m gonna go now cos i;m getting hungry and i dont wanna eat tonight. i;ve got through today on 3 cake bars and half a packet of salt popcorn, and 2 sips of drink (soon to be 3) i know that sounds like its bad but it was an agreement i made with myself, if i could get out of bed and get moving then i would eat very little, i should have eaten less, i will try tomorrow and no i;m not getting anorexic i;m just conducting a lil experiment, its the scientist in me so :-p
Dans
Dans