so...
ok so what, it's been like a week or two. Perhaps more. The days seem to blur into one large lump of nothingness. It seems as though time is ever gaining speed, and there aren't enough moments in the day to do what is needing to be done.
It's a sad truth, that as you get older, the days fly by, the months are a whirlwind of events that leave you swinging your clenching fists frantically trying to hold onto something. What? I dunno. Something, Everything.
I turned 21 fifteen days ago. I now have no more special birthdays to look forward to, not for awhile at least. My 21st has come and gone. I came, I saw I drank. I'm 21. Woot. Take my word, 21 isn't all it's cracked up to be. Granted, I'm moderatly thrilled that I can legally drink, which is honestly the only reason I do. It too will grow old as the time continues to speed on.
Ryan and I started our ninth month. Things are going well, we've both gone to the doctor to try and get help to fix the issues that have plagued us for so long. It's working. It's a lot of work, and a long hike, but we're in this together, and that speak volumes.
8 months ago, we made a promise to eachother. A promise to be there, to stand tall and strong. To support one another in the hard times, and in the good times. We made a promise to be true to eachother. To love, laugh, cry and grow.
He leaves in a little under a month and that will undoubtably be the biggest challange we'll have faced. I try to stay positive, although it is one of the hardest things in the world. He'll only be in Milwaukee, but that is ages away when you can't be with the one you love when you want or as often as you want.
We'll be okay, or at least I hope we'll be okay. I have good feelings. We've made plans for our future, we've made promises. We've made love and memories that will sustain us through the times ahead. This is life, and baby, life isn't easy. Though I wish it were.
Rob met a wonderful boy, Matthew, he's salt to the Earth. A real sweety. I was happy as a pig in shit, because Rob deserves someone who will make him feel as speical as Matt seems to. I was happy for him, happy for them.
I now understand how it was hard for Rob to see me with Ryan. While I don't know 100% how it felt for HIM, I do understand a bit. Now understand that I do not have any feelings for Rob other than a friend, but it was a bit ackward seeing Rob and Matt together. It was good though. It made me want Ryan there all that much more, it made me love him and miss him and just want to hold him and never let go.
Love is a beautiful thing, wouldn't you aggree? I thought so.
As it often happens to be, I had a million thoughts going through my head. Alas, time, being the usual culprit, has flown by too fast and left me with nothing. I shouldn't say nothing. Beautiful memories that I will cherish forever, will be forever ours.
Again, dear friends, here is to freeze framing time
All my love
Bryant J
It's a sad truth, that as you get older, the days fly by, the months are a whirlwind of events that leave you swinging your clenching fists frantically trying to hold onto something. What? I dunno. Something, Everything.
I turned 21 fifteen days ago. I now have no more special birthdays to look forward to, not for awhile at least. My 21st has come and gone. I came, I saw I drank. I'm 21. Woot. Take my word, 21 isn't all it's cracked up to be. Granted, I'm moderatly thrilled that I can legally drink, which is honestly the only reason I do. It too will grow old as the time continues to speed on.
Ryan and I started our ninth month. Things are going well, we've both gone to the doctor to try and get help to fix the issues that have plagued us for so long. It's working. It's a lot of work, and a long hike, but we're in this together, and that speak volumes.
8 months ago, we made a promise to eachother. A promise to be there, to stand tall and strong. To support one another in the hard times, and in the good times. We made a promise to be true to eachother. To love, laugh, cry and grow.
He leaves in a little under a month and that will undoubtably be the biggest challange we'll have faced. I try to stay positive, although it is one of the hardest things in the world. He'll only be in Milwaukee, but that is ages away when you can't be with the one you love when you want or as often as you want.
We'll be okay, or at least I hope we'll be okay. I have good feelings. We've made plans for our future, we've made promises. We've made love and memories that will sustain us through the times ahead. This is life, and baby, life isn't easy. Though I wish it were.
Rob met a wonderful boy, Matthew, he's salt to the Earth. A real sweety. I was happy as a pig in shit, because Rob deserves someone who will make him feel as speical as Matt seems to. I was happy for him, happy for them.
I now understand how it was hard for Rob to see me with Ryan. While I don't know 100% how it felt for HIM, I do understand a bit. Now understand that I do not have any feelings for Rob other than a friend, but it was a bit ackward seeing Rob and Matt together. It was good though. It made me want Ryan there all that much more, it made me love him and miss him and just want to hold him and never let go.
Love is a beautiful thing, wouldn't you aggree? I thought so.
As it often happens to be, I had a million thoughts going through my head. Alas, time, being the usual culprit, has flown by too fast and left me with nothing. I shouldn't say nothing. Beautiful memories that I will cherish forever, will be forever ours.
Again, dear friends, here is to freeze framing time
All my love
Bryant J