Goals: success; Dreams: interesting.
I succeeded on all yesterdays' goals for today. Yoga: check. Had a really good time. Piano: check, though I would have liked to practice more. On the plus side, I finally set up some piano lessons, beginning this Thursday. Activation! Japanese Garden with fam: partial success. My mom had a migraine and didn't come up to the city. I roused fireninja for a picnic in the ampitheater, to be followed by the Japanese Garden, but he ditched after the picnic to go ride his motorcycle. My mom really needed company and was having a crappy day with her migraine, so after work I brought her dinner and some movies I know she'll like, plus made her chicken soup for tomorrow. I love my mom.
I had some weird dreams last night. One of them related to a conversation I had with Shayna yesterday about psychadelics. In my dream I took some psychadelic by drawing on my finger with a ballpoint pen in a particular way. In the dream, there was a brief but undeniable sensation of being high. I've had very minimal drug experience, but this was so real. I never cease to marvel at dreams, and the power of the mind to create sensations. I started to process and get insights from that experience. I had a real reluctance to let go. I didn't want to lose control. There was a fear of...something. Don't know what. Perhaps just of letting go. That would be fitting for me in many ways. I got a bit anxious. I imagined if it were real, if got anxious, if I needed comfort, where would I turn? Who would I be comfortable with for that? Some of my realizations surprised me, even as it came as no surprise at all. I wanted to burrow into someone, put my arms around them, be held, allowed to rock. I feel like I had this real drug trip while dreaming, completely sober. I wish I had gotten up and written down the dream while it was fresh. After this dream all my dreams were very anxious. I kept feeling like I was going to be late, like the clocks were changing. I kept waking up and reminding myself I couldn't oversleep becuase I didn't have to be at work until 4:30 PM. But I couldn't really sleep anymore.
I had some weird dreams last night. One of them related to a conversation I had with Shayna yesterday about psychadelics. In my dream I took some psychadelic by drawing on my finger with a ballpoint pen in a particular way. In the dream, there was a brief but undeniable sensation of being high. I've had very minimal drug experience, but this was so real. I never cease to marvel at dreams, and the power of the mind to create sensations. I started to process and get insights from that experience. I had a real reluctance to let go. I didn't want to lose control. There was a fear of...something. Don't know what. Perhaps just of letting go. That would be fitting for me in many ways. I got a bit anxious. I imagined if it were real, if got anxious, if I needed comfort, where would I turn? Who would I be comfortable with for that? Some of my realizations surprised me, even as it came as no surprise at all. I wanted to burrow into someone, put my arms around them, be held, allowed to rock. I feel like I had this real drug trip while dreaming, completely sober. I wish I had gotten up and written down the dream while it was fresh. After this dream all my dreams were very anxious. I kept feeling like I was going to be late, like the clocks were changing. I kept waking up and reminding myself I couldn't oversleep becuase I didn't have to be at work until 4:30 PM. But I couldn't really sleep anymore.