(no subject)
i want so much out of life and when i get a little, i fuck it up so i never really get to the actualization of my hopes. growing up is a fucking crock. damnit, i'm pissed. if i could only stop for just a second and realize whats going on and take a step back and think hmmm, maybe im being an asshole, life would be so much easier. turns out im not even a fucking senior yet. god-dammnit i hate so much.
but i have a cadillac. and a beer. and 6 packs of cigarettes. god i hope my mom and dad dont read my journal. shit. completely unnecessary.
hey remember that time when i went to your house and you were on the computer and we drank your mom's liquor and got fucked up and we layed on the floor and held eachother and talked about life and love and how nothing really mattered but what was happening and how much i loved you and the way your lips fit perfectly in mine like we were some puzzle and you played modest mouse and your green eyes and you legs and your brother's bed. and the next month nothing mean't anything to you. and how you held his hand and couldn't give a shit about me. remember? remember, because i dont think i can go through any more of that.
and im sorry.
but i have a cadillac. and a beer. and 6 packs of cigarettes. god i hope my mom and dad dont read my journal. shit. completely unnecessary.
hey remember that time when i went to your house and you were on the computer and we drank your mom's liquor and got fucked up and we layed on the floor and held eachother and talked about life and love and how nothing really mattered but what was happening and how much i loved you and the way your lips fit perfectly in mine like we were some puzzle and you played modest mouse and your green eyes and you legs and your brother's bed. and the next month nothing mean't anything to you. and how you held his hand and couldn't give a shit about me. remember? remember, because i dont think i can go through any more of that.
and im sorry.