God, please give my mom streangth
First off I want to retract some of the things in my last entry... just if not for anything else to clear my concious. I feel liek a horible person even over something I hve no control over.
Just a minuite ago I recieved a call about my mom, she's not realyl doing so well as I imagined she was which would explain our conversation as of last week. She's manic depressive and I didn't really ever think that she would get worse. She is hurting herself and trying to hurt others, and it is not really her fault entirely - other thna the fact she didn't take her medicine. I'm shaking now typing this and feel really low for judgeing her when I maybe should have known better. Even worse i'm not sure what to do because she needs to be in the hospital, but won't go - I don't know if I can convice her or what - my grandparents can't do anything because they got in trouble last time for it.
I have a feeling they will somehow be able to intervene and help her even if I don't step in or am not allowed to myself, but I still can't help feeling terrible for my actions and ager towards her over the past week when I didn't see what was really going on, or investigate it for that matter. That is sometihng that will be on my conscious for some time... I do love my mom, but there is so much I don't understand that was hidden purposly from me for most of my life. I don't know how I should react.
Just a minuite ago I recieved a call about my mom, she's not realyl doing so well as I imagined she was which would explain our conversation as of last week. She's manic depressive and I didn't really ever think that she would get worse. She is hurting herself and trying to hurt others, and it is not really her fault entirely - other thna the fact she didn't take her medicine. I'm shaking now typing this and feel really low for judgeing her when I maybe should have known better. Even worse i'm not sure what to do because she needs to be in the hospital, but won't go - I don't know if I can convice her or what - my grandparents can't do anything because they got in trouble last time for it.
I have a feeling they will somehow be able to intervene and help her even if I don't step in or am not allowed to myself, but I still can't help feeling terrible for my actions and ager towards her over the past week when I didn't see what was really going on, or investigate it for that matter. That is sometihng that will be on my conscious for some time... I do love my mom, but there is so much I don't understand that was hidden purposly from me for most of my life. I don't know how I should react.