Relentless

[bendy698]

I have so much going on deep inside. How can I say it all without making it too obvious? How can I really prove that I'm not lying, trying to get attention, or why I can't let go of something? Usually given the right amount of time and patience I can do just that. Why not now? It's because more than half of me doesn't wan't to let go of good memories I had... but they just keep reapeating over and over in my mind constantly. They are my escape for pain, fustration, fear - everything that I never expected to affect me so strongly. Things have changed so much. She is not here anymore... not completely lost, but the connection, the power, and the self esteem I once had were the all too real aspects of her aura. Whenever I am blessed enough to step into the same room with her presently, I experinece these feelings all over again. They come flooding back and I relive every moment as if it were happenign again. When I asked her out I was never more sure of anything. I didn't even know myself how I did not (for the first time in my life) even come close to hesitation. I didn't only love how she made me feel - but what I could bring out in her. What we could both learn from eachother and did... until we gradually drifted apart. I'm not sure if she knows that I miss her so much - I'm afraid. I don't want to be in her space, or for her to feel anything other than how she really does. My heart is with her no matter what and always will be. I miss her, I must love her and you can quote me if you really feel the need. I would say it again and do so proudly even through the tears I'm shedding and the long, disappointing, confusing nights where I feel like I'm in the wrong place, wondering where to go from here. Not being compeltey sure if it is poissble to experiece such a feelign with anyone else considering the fact she is so unique - so specail. My heart and soul belong only to me, but she may have been the one who set them free.

I'm Helpless As You Move Away
I Am Empty, Aimless
I Have No Illusions Anymore
They Just Ran Right Out Of Me
And Every Day I'll Fight Not To Miss You
Every Day I'll Lose