And everyday I'll fight not to miss you... everyday I lose
I was reading through some of my old journal entries last night and was intrigued by some of my thoughts and feelings and at the time how extremely important they all were to me. Some of the situations expressed back then are not close to relevant today, but when I read them, it is as if I'm experiencing it all over again. I think there is some positive in this considering that I can always learn from my mistakes and realize what I need to do to give me an extra push forward and one step closer to what it is that I really want.
The only problem is that is easier said than done. I have been rather confused lately. I really want to hold on to everything and everyone in my past - at least all that hasn't betrayed me in any way. This narrows it down when we are talking about realtionships that were signifigant and meaningful not only to me, but also the other person involved. I miss one particular girl very much, yet in some ways it feels as if we have never been closer. I feel absolutely amazing around her, even though we are not together in the same sense. I am so greatful she is still around. I would do anything for her and all that I felt for her as well as every word I spoke still stands true to this day. This is possibly what we were meant to be all along - good friends who will always be there to help eachother through rough times. That is the most I could ever have asked for.
In other news (and since I seem to somehow be losing my trian of thought) I have redecorated my room! It is really kick ass now, especially at night. I have an led-lit keyboard and speaker set, as well as really bright neon inside my PC tower. What can I say? I am addicted to bright colors! lol I put up all my awesome Evanescence posters as well - so yeah... I pretty much live in here now, only coming out on occasion for food and to fulfil my basic needs. It would be so amazing if perhaps I could share this space with someone special.
The only problem is that is easier said than done. I have been rather confused lately. I really want to hold on to everything and everyone in my past - at least all that hasn't betrayed me in any way. This narrows it down when we are talking about realtionships that were signifigant and meaningful not only to me, but also the other person involved. I miss one particular girl very much, yet in some ways it feels as if we have never been closer. I feel absolutely amazing around her, even though we are not together in the same sense. I am so greatful she is still around. I would do anything for her and all that I felt for her as well as every word I spoke still stands true to this day. This is possibly what we were meant to be all along - good friends who will always be there to help eachother through rough times. That is the most I could ever have asked for.
In other news (and since I seem to somehow be losing my trian of thought) I have redecorated my room! It is really kick ass now, especially at night. I have an led-lit keyboard and speaker set, as well as really bright neon inside my PC tower. What can I say? I am addicted to bright colors! lol I put up all my awesome Evanescence posters as well - so yeah... I pretty much live in here now, only coming out on occasion for food and to fulfil my basic needs. It would be so amazing if perhaps I could share this space with someone special.