(no subject)
No matter how thirsty you are, no matter how much you drink, you will always quench more.
So...today has been an emotional skyrocket. My father told me again how bad my lifestyle is, how by being in and supporting GSA I am recruiting kids to be gay, how I am stepping my foot into a pond far greater than I imagine, and about how this whole gay thing is a bad idea.... Direct quotes. Also he sort of tried to give me a sex talk(which was a funny thing since I like women and well, nonetheless he was warning me about the dangers of oral sex(oh god, did she just say that) as well as *shh* std's. Because being that I like women obviously means that I am permiscous, so I'm a slut, but dad guess what I'm not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon. I just feel its unecesary at least from my dad, so I leave on a bad note, I go to texas with a broken heart, from my blood, well fuck you Ed. Don't let my gender identity awaken your's d-bag.
30 days is my medicine, at least thats what I keep telling myself thats all the time I have but I want to leave now, obligations hold me down. I broke up with emily today, (that is not an obligation) though I knew what I was doing and though I knew if I didn't do it now it would hurt far worse later, I miss her, I miss it.
I miss intimacy, the intimacy we rarely had, but rarely is better than nothing. I miss thinking that there will be a goodbye kiss, falling asleep in each others arms, no brushing through her hair(god her hair smelled euphoric) nothing. No feeling in my gut of butterflys lasting for that moment. For some reason I have an increadible desire to sniff something. Besides saltwater, and snot. I feel any tangible happiness has left me, I don't want to go home, I want to crawl, not recover but just become invisible to the eye. (worst of all is that I no there will be no more calls with classical music on my phone), no more text to read...EMILY
So...today has been an emotional skyrocket. My father told me again how bad my lifestyle is, how by being in and supporting GSA I am recruiting kids to be gay, how I am stepping my foot into a pond far greater than I imagine, and about how this whole gay thing is a bad idea.... Direct quotes. Also he sort of tried to give me a sex talk(which was a funny thing since I like women and well, nonetheless he was warning me about the dangers of oral sex(oh god, did she just say that) as well as *shh* std's. Because being that I like women obviously means that I am permiscous, so I'm a slut, but dad guess what I'm not going to be getting pregnant anytime soon. I just feel its unecesary at least from my dad, so I leave on a bad note, I go to texas with a broken heart, from my blood, well fuck you Ed. Don't let my gender identity awaken your's d-bag.
30 days is my medicine, at least thats what I keep telling myself thats all the time I have but I want to leave now, obligations hold me down. I broke up with emily today, (that is not an obligation) though I knew what I was doing and though I knew if I didn't do it now it would hurt far worse later, I miss her, I miss it.
I miss intimacy, the intimacy we rarely had, but rarely is better than nothing. I miss thinking that there will be a goodbye kiss, falling asleep in each others arms, no brushing through her hair(god her hair smelled euphoric) nothing. No feeling in my gut of butterflys lasting for that moment. For some reason I have an increadible desire to sniff something. Besides saltwater, and snot. I feel any tangible happiness has left me, I don't want to go home, I want to crawl, not recover but just become invisible to the eye. (worst of all is that I no there will be no more calls with classical music on my phone), no more text to read...EMILY