(Untitled)

[benchilada]

Remember The Crush Entry?
Remember The Parallel You Entry?

Let's have another, shall we?

I wish I could remember what memory I associate this video with. I just can't seem to put my finger on it, but it's always there. My brain doesn't work the best, particularly when it comes to memory, so chances are that it's gone forever, which leaves a very weird

Comments

[anonymous]

it was the time he said 'I love you' and i said 'i don't love you'.

it haunts my memories and keeps me awake at night.

[benchilada]

I somehow doubt that one's entirely uncommon.
I somehow doubt that anybody remembers that without hurting.

[anonymous]

Well, in greater detail... I had been dating him for over a year. I was 15 and I was seriously considering this guy to be the guy for me.. I know 15's pretty young to think that, but everything about it worked out so well.. (looking back on it now that it's almost 10 years later, he wasn't the guy for me... But I wish we were still friends.) I was getting nervous about my thoughts. I was getting nervous about growing up too fast. I didn't plan anything that happened.

He was driving his dad's pick up because his car was in the shop. As we drove down the hill to my house, he smiled sweetly at me and said "I love you". I almost instantly shot back "I don't love you". A second later we were in my driveway. I stayed in the cab with him for over 40 minutes talking and crying. I spent the rest of the night on the phone with him. Pleading with him to go home and go to sleep.

He started smoking and quit his job. I completely devastated him.

It took me 4 years to contact him and apologize and he 'forgave me', but I don't think he really

[primavera]

I think of being on the toilet when I found out my mother was dead.

[benchilada]

You're never where you think you should be when you get news like that.

[anonymous]

It's not a moment for me but a period of a couple of weeks. The day the Doctors told me that my Mother was going to die. The time during that week that she and I talked about what her wishes were, before she was so out of it that she didn't recognize me anymore. The last time I held her hand, the last time I helped her drink, eat, be comfortable. The last time my children made her smile. Seeing her after death, touching her cold hand and realizing it was real, that she was indeed gone. Making plans for her funeral, her memorial service... watching my children mourn. Me mourning. That was almost 3 years ago and it still hurts as much as it did when it happened. I miss her so much.

[benchilada]

I don't know how I'd do in that situation.
I think I'd have the bravest fucking face ever when I was with her and that collapse into nothingness the moment I left.

[anonymous]

Exactly... That was exactly what I did.

Thanks Ben. Saying it outloud helped in a way.

[auroracita]

That's what Royal and I do when we see his mom.

She asked him the other day what he wants when she dies, seeing as his father only wants her wedding ring and she may only have a couple of months left to live. The wills are made and signed. She's losing weight every day, even when I think she's got nothing left there to lose.

I'm scared because I don't know what Royal and his dad will do when she finally goes. I don't know how they'll snap.

[m0usegrrl]

It's a memory that's not a memory, really -- a two- to three-second loop, seeing the gravel road bend off to the left and feeling the car proceed straight, a field and a house in the distance and the Rockies and early evening sky as backdrop. I say it's a memory-not memory because I don't actually remember the accident at all. The only thing I have is that loop on permanent repeat, seared into my brain as vividly dreamlike as it felt when it happened.

[benchilada]

I remember all of the car accidents I've been in--four--with astonishing clarity.

[bobo_dreams]

The look on his face when he asked if I was in love with David.

The pain I felt when I had to look at him, say "No", and could still see how destroyed he was that I'd cheated.

Douchebag, am I.

But we got past it.

Meh.

[benchilada]

"But we got past it."

Y'all did something few people can, then.