[Fic]: Into One Hour, 2/?
Title: Into One hour, 2 of ?
Rating: PG-13 to be safe.
Warnings: BenLie killing? A bit of language.
Notes: Part of the Dream a Little Dream of Me Series. That pesky nervousness is back. I feel more confident writing Kevin, somehow. I apologize for any weird OOCness. xD;
Enjoy? :D
---
Illusion, Shadow, Fiction | A Falta Así de Confesor | All That We See, Part One, Part Two | Into One Hour, Part One, Part Two, Part Three |
---
He doesn't dream.
He doesn't anymore, but he can't stop thinking about them; about those visions of impossible lifetimes of love, intimacy and laughter. Of something he had never thought he could have wanted until he robbed the images from Kevin's mind. It felt like peeping into something meant only for Kevin, accidental or not Ben couldn't help feeling like a voyeur, ashamed and a bit alarmed at his visceral response to Kevin's submission.
But ever since Gwen's intervention sleeping remains a gray area. It remains an unknown blank moment between closing his eyes for the night and opening them to bright sunlit mornings. It leaves him no more rested than necessary it seems.
Those first mornings had been jarring, to say the least. He's not dreamed since, and he misses Kevin's dreams; misses them so much, sometimes.
But he'd been able to endure. Things had seemed to be finally, finally looking up. Until Grandpa Max caught them in the lie, that is.
He had seriously forgotten about it, despite the huge repercussions that damned mission had caused. He hadn't thought about the huge possibility of getting caught red-handed in the lie he had persuaded Gwen to tell, about how they had gotten Kevin out. Better for everyone to think it had just been the unfortunate incident of getting caught in a harmless machine.
But things are never that easy, are they? No. Gods forbid things go easy when it's them; when it's Kevin and himself involved.
Listen to him go on and on like this! It's not like him to get so maudlin over things; things and situations out of his control, and that's what's precisely getting to him so much, he supposes, that this whole enchilada is out of his control.
But it's always kind of been about Kevin, isn't it? Ever since that disastrous first impression, that first catastrophically failed friendship.
Not even Vilgax has ever compared to having Kevin as a nemesis.
Like looking into a distorted mirror: all that he could have been, all what he wanted and dreaded to have; all he wanted and dreaded to be. A reminder of failure and a warning to stay on the righteous path, a warning meant to teach him what would happen if he strayed.
Ben had hated and pitied Kevin. He had mistrusted him and he had feared him with everything he had, even if he had never admitted it to himself. He had learned to forgive both Kevin and himself, and he had learned to care for and to cherish their second chance at a true friendship.
They had finally been okay. It had been enough.
But it's not anymore. It's not enough and Ben can't quite come to terms with what he wants from Kevin now. He's not quite sure how he'd deal with a no for answer, if he ever decides to voice any of this. He's not too sure he wants to know.
He hates the way luck fucked him over. The way his Grandpa ambushed them in the meeting, in front of everybody. The way Kevin, stone-faced, had told them the real purpose of the machine.
It tortures Ben, the thought of Kevin knowing. If he hasn't remembered by himself yet, it's just a matter of time. It's the when Ben dreads.
“Gwen and Kevin broke up.”
Ben looks up, a little abruptly, and stares at Julie's solemn expression. He blinks, mind blank, and mechanically accepts the smoothie she hands him before sitting down on the bench, across from him. He... he hadn't seen that one coming, actually. But, considering the way things have gone lately, he supposes it shouldn't be so surprising.
“Maybe it's a short thing,” he says a little absently, shrugging, trying to squash the hopeful feeling weeding its way into his heart. “Things have been tense lately. Give it a day or two for tempers to cool; you know how they are.”
Julie sighs. “It sounds pretty serious to me, considering what Gwen told me,” she looks at him, Ben can feel her eyes on him. “What's going on, Ben? You're all wound so tight lately; it's like you're all about to fall apart with tension.”
He stays silent, unable to look at her.
She sighs again, a deep sound of exasperation. “It's not new either! You've been miles away, like you can't stay here,” with me remains unspoken, but still heavily implied. “Gwen suddenly calls to say everything's over between her and Kevin and Kevin-- don't make me start with Kevin! What's going on with you all? I don't want to see my friends like this...”
“I'm sorry, Julie...” he says, suddenly feeling the crushing weight of his exhaustion. “I don't think I can do this.”
“What? Ben...”
“A month ago,” he interrupts her, “You remember the mission we took?”
“I-- yes, I remember.”
“Something happened then,” he whispers, “And I'm not sure you want to hear how it's changed things; how it changed... me.”
“Ben?”
“I don't want to say it like this, in this place,” he doesn't want to see her, but he has to, so he looks up and catches her eyes. “You deserve to know, and it's something you would've eventually found out, considering how things have gone so far.”
He stands up. “Let's go,” he says.
He tells her everything on the way back to her house.
She doesn't say anything, just listens; she doesn't look at him. She walks up to her house and goes inside, not looking back.
Ben hates the relief blooming inside his chest.
It's been two weeks.
Two weeks since that godawful meeting, a week since Kevin and Gwen's break up; five days since he last spoke with Julie.
He hates brooding, but he can't help it. He hates the paranoid feeling of guilt that plagues him about Gwen's persistent, unanswered calls, about Julie's silence and Kevin's significant absence.
He's going to go fucking mad if he doesn't find something, anything to do.
His badge beeping around two in the morning is unexpected and loud enough to make him jump. Manny's voice is hushed and conspiratorial.
“What d'you think about kicking some Dromedite ass to kill some of this fucking boredom, man?” Ben can clearly hear the shit eating grin on his face.
“You guys found them?” Ben asks, suddenly raring to go. He's been needing something like this for weeks.
“Helen just did,” Manny confirms. “So, what d'you say?”
“I'm in!” Ben exclaims.
“Sending you the coordinates, man. Let's go whoop some ass!”
Next >
Previous <
Rating: PG-13 to be safe.
Warnings: BenLie killing? A bit of language.
Notes: Part of the Dream a Little Dream of Me Series. That pesky nervousness is back. I feel more confident writing Kevin, somehow. I apologize for any weird OOCness. xD;
Enjoy? :D
---
Illusion, Shadow, Fiction | A Falta Así de Confesor | All That We See, Part One, Part Two | Into One Hour, Part One, Part Two, Part Three |
---
He doesn't dream.
He doesn't anymore, but he can't stop thinking about them; about those visions of impossible lifetimes of love, intimacy and laughter. Of something he had never thought he could have wanted until he robbed the images from Kevin's mind. It felt like peeping into something meant only for Kevin, accidental or not Ben couldn't help feeling like a voyeur, ashamed and a bit alarmed at his visceral response to Kevin's submission.
But ever since Gwen's intervention sleeping remains a gray area. It remains an unknown blank moment between closing his eyes for the night and opening them to bright sunlit mornings. It leaves him no more rested than necessary it seems.
Those first mornings had been jarring, to say the least. He's not dreamed since, and he misses Kevin's dreams; misses them so much, sometimes.
But he'd been able to endure. Things had seemed to be finally, finally looking up. Until Grandpa Max caught them in the lie, that is.
He had seriously forgotten about it, despite the huge repercussions that damned mission had caused. He hadn't thought about the huge possibility of getting caught red-handed in the lie he had persuaded Gwen to tell, about how they had gotten Kevin out. Better for everyone to think it had just been the unfortunate incident of getting caught in a harmless machine.
But things are never that easy, are they? No. Gods forbid things go easy when it's them; when it's Kevin and himself involved.
Listen to him go on and on like this! It's not like him to get so maudlin over things; things and situations out of his control, and that's what's precisely getting to him so much, he supposes, that this whole enchilada is out of his control.
But it's always kind of been about Kevin, isn't it? Ever since that disastrous first impression, that first catastrophically failed friendship.
Not even Vilgax has ever compared to having Kevin as a nemesis.
Like looking into a distorted mirror: all that he could have been, all what he wanted and dreaded to have; all he wanted and dreaded to be. A reminder of failure and a warning to stay on the righteous path, a warning meant to teach him what would happen if he strayed.
Ben had hated and pitied Kevin. He had mistrusted him and he had feared him with everything he had, even if he had never admitted it to himself. He had learned to forgive both Kevin and himself, and he had learned to care for and to cherish their second chance at a true friendship.
They had finally been okay. It had been enough.
But it's not anymore. It's not enough and Ben can't quite come to terms with what he wants from Kevin now. He's not quite sure how he'd deal with a no for answer, if he ever decides to voice any of this. He's not too sure he wants to know.
He hates the way luck fucked him over. The way his Grandpa ambushed them in the meeting, in front of everybody. The way Kevin, stone-faced, had told them the real purpose of the machine.
It tortures Ben, the thought of Kevin knowing. If he hasn't remembered by himself yet, it's just a matter of time. It's the when Ben dreads.
“Gwen and Kevin broke up.”
Ben looks up, a little abruptly, and stares at Julie's solemn expression. He blinks, mind blank, and mechanically accepts the smoothie she hands him before sitting down on the bench, across from him. He... he hadn't seen that one coming, actually. But, considering the way things have gone lately, he supposes it shouldn't be so surprising.
“Maybe it's a short thing,” he says a little absently, shrugging, trying to squash the hopeful feeling weeding its way into his heart. “Things have been tense lately. Give it a day or two for tempers to cool; you know how they are.”
Julie sighs. “It sounds pretty serious to me, considering what Gwen told me,” she looks at him, Ben can feel her eyes on him. “What's going on, Ben? You're all wound so tight lately; it's like you're all about to fall apart with tension.”
He stays silent, unable to look at her.
She sighs again, a deep sound of exasperation. “It's not new either! You've been miles away, like you can't stay here,” with me remains unspoken, but still heavily implied. “Gwen suddenly calls to say everything's over between her and Kevin and Kevin-- don't make me start with Kevin! What's going on with you all? I don't want to see my friends like this...”
“I'm sorry, Julie...” he says, suddenly feeling the crushing weight of his exhaustion. “I don't think I can do this.”
“What? Ben...”
“A month ago,” he interrupts her, “You remember the mission we took?”
“I-- yes, I remember.”
“Something happened then,” he whispers, “And I'm not sure you want to hear how it's changed things; how it changed... me.”
“Ben?”
“I don't want to say it like this, in this place,” he doesn't want to see her, but he has to, so he looks up and catches her eyes. “You deserve to know, and it's something you would've eventually found out, considering how things have gone so far.”
He stands up. “Let's go,” he says.
He tells her everything on the way back to her house.
She doesn't say anything, just listens; she doesn't look at him. She walks up to her house and goes inside, not looking back.
Ben hates the relief blooming inside his chest.
It's been two weeks.
Two weeks since that godawful meeting, a week since Kevin and Gwen's break up; five days since he last spoke with Julie.
He hates brooding, but he can't help it. He hates the paranoid feeling of guilt that plagues him about Gwen's persistent, unanswered calls, about Julie's silence and Kevin's significant absence.
He's going to go fucking mad if he doesn't find something, anything to do.
His badge beeping around two in the morning is unexpected and loud enough to make him jump. Manny's voice is hushed and conspiratorial.
“What d'you think about kicking some Dromedite ass to kill some of this fucking boredom, man?” Ben can clearly hear the shit eating grin on his face.
“You guys found them?” Ben asks, suddenly raring to go. He's been needing something like this for weeks.
“Helen just did,” Manny confirms. “So, what d'you say?”
“I'm in!” Ben exclaims.
“Sending you the coordinates, man. Let's go whoop some ass!”
Next >
Previous <