Say You're Mine (J2, NC-17) 2/7

[belyste]

“So let me get this straight,” Mike says, finishing off his beer and setting the glass on the bar with a wet smack. “You got this guy to take you to his apartment, you got naked, you got halfway to getting laid and then…nothing?”

“Pretty much,” Jared says, taking a sip of his own beer.

“That’s just…that’s sad, is what it is,” Mike says, signaling the bartender for another. “How is it even possible to get that close and then not seal the deal? What’d you do, tell him you have herpes or something?”

He says it right as the bartender stops in front of them with a fresh beer, and at her horrified look, Jared says hastily, “No, because that would be a giant freaking lie,” and kicks Mike in the shin before giving the woman his best trustworthy smile. “But thanks for the advice. If I ever do find myself in that situation, I’ll remember to actually wait for the test results to come back before I go sleep with ten random women. Man, tracking them down is going to be a bitch, huh?”

Mike chokes on his beer, and the bartender transfers her disgusted look to him before walking away. Mike returns the shin-kick, wiping his eyes. “Bastard. You just ruined any chance I had of getting laid in this bar.”

“Hate to break it to you, but you kind of did that yourself,” Jared tells him. “When you go home with a different woman from a tiny little bar every single night of the week, you run out pretty fast.” He looks around at the Monday night crowd, which is pretty damn thin. “Unless you’re switching teams, I don’t think there’s actually anyone in this bar you haven’t already slept with. Besides the bartender who now thinks you’re diseased, I mean.”

Mike groans. “Why the fuck are we even here, then? We’ve clearly exhausted all the potential this place has. Let’s find somewhere new.”

“We can’t, asshole,” Jared says. “You know that.”

“Right, sorry,” Mike says. “I forgot. We’re in pursuit of true love.” He sighs and takes another gulp of beer. “Which is clearly worth me dying of sexual frustration.”

“It’s been less than twenty-four hours. Somehow, I don’t think the lack of sex will kill you quite yet.”

“It’s been less than twelve hours,” Mike corrects him. “Quickie after breakfast.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Then yes, Jensen is definitely worth your fatal case of blue balls.”

“Assuming he ever comes back to this bar in the first place,” Mike points out. “It’s been more than a week, dude.”

Jared knows that. He’s been here every night since last Saturday, just waiting and hoping that Jensen will walk in. It’s a slim hope, but right now it’s all Jared’s got as far as leads. He knows where Jensen lives - well, he knows what building it is, at least - but he was drunk and horny when they got there, and he has no idea what floor or number they ended up in, and knocking on every door in the place sounds kind of like something that should be reserved for a last resort.

Allie and Adrianne came the first couple nights, trying to help him out and wanting to see Jensen for themselves, but they gave up by Wednesday, saying the bar was too far away and closing was too late to be out on a work night. They’re all gooey and couple-y right now anyway, still glowing from the engagement, so Jared understands if they want to be at home with each other instead of in a tiny bar. Mike comes every night (Jared’s pretty sure it’s written somewhere in Mike’s DNA that he’s never not up for drinking) but while he claims it’s to support Jared, he usually leaves with a girl long before close.

Mike sighs again. “Well, fuck. If I’m not getting laid, then I’m sure as hell getting wasted. Where the hell is that bartender?”

She’s down at the other end, pointedly avoiding his eye, but Mike’s never let a little thing like disgust get between him and alcohol. He gets up and heads over to where she’s standing. “Want anything?”

Jared looks down at his half-empty glass. “Nah.” He had to limit himself to three drinks a night after the incident last Wednesday, when Mike met a girl five minutes into the night and took off, leaving Jared bored and alone. There’s not really very much to keep you interested when all you’re doing is waiting and hoping the love of your life will walk into a bar he just happened to be at last weekend, and when Jared finally stumbled out of the place, he’s pretty sure he consumed half the beer in the city.

That theory seemed even more likely when he was still drunk the next morning. Jared’s always kind of thought it might actually be easier to teach high schoolers history while intoxicated, but as it turns out? Not so much. He was just a lot more easily distracted by the usual teenage antics, and then when it started to wear off around lunchtime he was tired and fuzzy, and the bells between class (not to mention the kids) were five million times more shrill. It was not fun.

He tries to tell Mike this, when it looks like Mike is attempting to consume all the alcohol in the entire state, but Mike refuses to listen. He works for a landscaping company, digging dirt and watering plants all day, so he’s probably actually fine if he’s hungover as all hell tomorrow morning. Still, alcohol poisoning isn’t conducive to any sort of job, so Jared cuts him off around the point that Mike starts having an honest-to-god conversation with his beer.

But then Mike gets bored and cranky, and they can’t leave yet (there’s still an hour before close, so theoretically Jensen could still stop in for a final drink on his way home or something), and for some reason Jared will never understand, Mike doesn’t get sluggish like other drunk people. Instead of being three quarters of the way to passed out, like he logically should be, he gets a second wind and goes all hyperactive on Jared. Which mostly translates into Mike eating every single peanut in the near vicinity and having the exact same conversation with Jared over and over and fucking over.

“Jared,” Mike says, leaning in until his beer breath is warm on Jared’s face. “Jared. He totally isn’t coming. Not coming.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Jared says, leaning back as far as he can. “I got that the first million times you said it. Thanks for the positive thoughts, buddy.”

“Not coming,” Mike repeats, drawing out the vowels to a ridiculous degree. “Noooooot. Jared. Love has failed you. Totally fucking failed you.”

He tries to point at Jared and ends up swinging his finger in a sloppy circle off to the left that veers dangerously close to a burly looking biker dude in the corner.

Jared grabs his hand and grounds it on the bar, just to be safe.

“Love sucks, man,” Mike drawls. “Seriously. This is why we should just be bachelors forever. Then there’d be none of this crap.”

“Aw, come on,” Jared says. “Love’s pretty awesome. Well. When the other person’s actually in love with you, too. That helps a lot.”

Mike doesn’t reply, patting the bar in front of him. “Shit, where are the peanuts? I’m starving.”

“You already ate them all.”

“Then where’s the bartender?” Mike leans over the bar, scanning up and down. “I need her to tender me some bar. Beer. Whatever. She was kind of bitchy before,” he says conversationally. “Hey bitchtender!” he calls out, then realizes what he said and cracks himself up.

Jared mentally thanks whatever higher powers are responsible for the bartender being across the room and apparently slightly hard of hearing. “Mike, dude, shut up,” he mutters, hauling Mike backwards onto his stool. “And she was only bitchy because she thought you were spreading herpes to people she knows. I think she’s justified.”

“Pah,” Mike says, waving a hand. “That was the stupidest story ever, by the way. I wouldn’t have to track down all those women I slept with to tell them I had herpes.”

“Well, you’re probably not legally obligated to,” Jared says. “But it would be the polite, socially responsible thing to do.”

“No, I wouldn’t have to track them down,” Mike repeats. “’Cause if I slept with them, then I have their numbers in my phone.” He spreads his arms wide and almost overbalances and topples off the stool. “I could just text them.”

Jared almost laughs before he realizes Mike isn’t even kidding. “Oh, god, you’re serious,” he says, horrified. “No, Mike. You can’t send someone a text message to tell them about your theoretical case of herpes. That’s not okay.”

“Fine,” Mike says, “I’ll send a card.”

“A card?”

“Isn’t that why God invented Hallmark? To tell people important shit.”

There are several seconds where Jared’s mouth is open and absolutely nothing comes out. Finally, he gives up on anything approaching a logical reply (because logic is really not playing a starring role in this conversation in the first place) and says faintly, “No. No, it really isn’t.”

“Huh,” Mike says thoughtfully. “Well, then, someone should invent that.”

“Invent what?” Jared asks, a little hysterically. “A card that says, ‘Hey, sorry, I may have given you herpes’?”

“Exactly!” Mike says. “Yeah, fucking exactly!” He shakes his head in wonder. “God, I’m a fucking genius.”

Jared really wishes he hadn’t been nursing this same beer for close to an hour, because he could really use some hard liquor right now. He’s not sure he can survive this conversation mostly sober.

“And then there’d be a card that says, ‘Don’t fall in love,’” Mike rambles on. “’Cause love sucks. I’d send that one to you.”

“Thanks,” Jared mutters.

“Because it does. Love sucks.”

And fifteen minutes from close on the eighth day in a row Jared has unsuccessfully stalked this bar for the guy he very nearly had a drunken one-night-stand with and is becoming sort of pathetically obsessed with, he’s kind of ready to agree that yes, it just might. But just as he’s opening his mouth to say so, the door to the bar opens, letting in a cold rush of air.

And there, in a dark overcoat dusted with snow, is Jensen.

He heads straight for two guys at a table, clapping them both on the shoulders. “Hey.”

“Fucking finally,” one of the guys says. “We’ve been here for an hour. I was starting to think you forgot about us.”

“Sorry,” Jensen says, laughing. “Work stuff. I totally lost track of time.”

“Well, you also lost your chance to have a drink with us before we’re gone for six months,” the other guy says. “It’s almost last call.”

“Dude, relax,” Jensen says. “My apartment is five minutes away and I have a brand new bottle of tequila. There’s still plenty of time to get drunk and do stupid things before you have to leave.”

“Aw, I knew there was a reason we’re friends with you,” the first guy says, laughing. “Lead the way.”

The guys start to stand, reaching for their own coats, and Jared realizes that he’s watched the entire conversation without moving, and if he doesn’t do something fast, Jensen’s going to walk out without even seeing him.

He jumps to his feet, crosses the bar, and grabs Jensen’s arm as he’s heading for the door. “Jensen. Wait.”

Jensen turns in his grip, mouth open in question, but when he sees Jared standing there, a flash of surprise crosses his face. “Jared.”

“Um, hi,” Jared says, suddenly nervous.

Jensen blinks. “Hey. What are you - ?”

“Oh, um, I just happened to come by here tonight,” Jared says quickly. “And then I saw you, and I thought I should, um. Say hi.”

“Right,” Jensen says. After a minute goes by and Jared doesn’t elaborate, he raises his eyebrows. “Anything else?”

“Uh, yeah. I just wanted to - last week was really awkward,” Jared says all in a rush. “And I wanted to apologize for that, because I know that sometimes I don’t come off the best and that was probably way more intense than you were expecting, and I’m sorry. That it got so awkward and weird.”

“That’s okay,” Jensen says, smiling faintly. “I mean, yeah, it was kind of awkward. But it wasn’t your fault. We both made it weird.”

“Okay, good.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jensen says, gently pulling his arm away and motioning to the door, where his friends are waiting. “Anyway, I have to - “

“Just - one more thing,” Jared says hastily. “Can you - this probably sounds really stupid, but is there any way we could try again?”

Jensen frowns a little.

“Not the awkward almost-sex part,” Jared rushes to assure him. “I think we already covered that pretty well. I meant something a little more low-key. Coffee. Dinner. A chance to talk.” He shifts his weight from foot to foot nervously. “It’s just - I think last time we went a little too fast for both of us. We were drunk, and we jumped right into the sex part. And it’s totally backwards, but I just think that if we could get to know each other a little first and take things slower - “ He shrugs. “It could be good.”

Jensen opens and closes his mouth, then bites his lip. “I don’t know,” he says finally. “I mean, I get what you’re saying, it’s just - I don’t know if you can really start over like that. It sounds…” He clears his throat.

“Awkward?” Jared supplies. “Yeah, I know. But - “ He takes a deep breath and meets Jensen’s eyes. “I really like you, Jensen. And I think that if we just had another chance, this could be really good. I think we could be good. Don’t you want to at least find out?”

Jensen looks at him for a long minute, inscrutable. Jared’s pretty sure this is going to end up like the apartment, with Jensen giving him some extremely polite line that’s just very thinly veiled rejection, and all of a sudden he doesn’t really want to wait for it. “Um, you know what, never mind,” he says. “Sorry. This is probably the last thing you want, some random guy stalking you and asking for a date after a totally awkward and disastrous attempt at sex.”

His cheeks are burning, and he’s just waiting for Jensen to agree and turn around and walk out so he can go bang his head against something very solid, but Jensen throws a wrench into his plans by not leaving at all.

Instead, he just raises an eyebrow and says, “You’re stalking me?”

“Uh, no,” Jared says quickly. “What? Stalking? No.”

And he means to leave it there, he really does, but Jensen’s giving him this steady, inquisitive look that makes him kind of nervous, and before he knows it he’s rambling. “Because if I was really going to stalk you, then I’d be waiting for you outside your door or trying to look in your window or something,” he points out. “Dragging my friends to the bar where I met you every night for a week and a half, that’s not stalking. It’s just hanging out. Conveniently near where you live.” He pauses to take a breath, and lets it out in a sigh. “Yeah, okay, it’s totally pathetic and kind of creepy.”

“It’s…something, all right,” Jensen says, looking a little bemused. “Look, Jared - “

And here comes the rejection. Jared braces for something along the lines of “you seem really nice and all, but - “ with some kind of lame excuse tacked on the end.

But Jensen’s friends are at the door, waiting, and one of them picks that moment to yell, “Jesus, Jensen, you going to keep us waiting all night? We’re going to be senior citizens by the time we get home.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jensen calls over his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “If you’re so worried about looking young, get a fucking facelift. I’m having a conversation here.”

“Yeah, and that’s your problem,” the other guy puts in. “Cut the flirting shit and give him your damn number already.”

Jensen rolls his eyes again, but he’s grinning, and he grabs a pen off the bar and a napkin from a nearby table, scribbling something down and pushing it into Jared’s hand. “Here. Coffee, okay? Call me tomorrow.”

Jared gapes at him for a second, totally unsure how that just worked out in his favor, but Jensen tosses him a grin over his shoulder as he heads for the door, and okay. Wow. Jared just landed himself an honest-to-god date with the man of his dreams. He still has no idea how, but there’s no mistaking the ten digits inked on the napkin in his hand and the scrawled Jensen above it, like Jared might just forget the name of the guy he’s spent a week and a half stalking.

He’s frozen in place for a good minute after the door slams behind Jensen and his friends, staring between the napkin and where Jensen disappeared, but when it finally sinks in that Jensen said yes, that they’re going to go out soon and Jared’s getting another chance at making Jensen see how perfect they are for each other, he turns around to find Mike and celebrate the momentous occasion.

Mike, however, has finally hit the end of his sugar high and is pretty much passed out on the bar. Judging by the puddle of drool, he missed all of Jared’s spectacular triumph over adversity.

But that’s okay. Now Jared can embellish the story all he wants when he tells it to Adrianne and Allie (he thinks it needs some groveling. Every courtship story needs a little groveling), plus he has even more material for the merciless mocking Mike’s getting tomorrow along with his hangover. When he reminds Mike of his special STD line of Hallmark cards, he can throw in an extra-sappy tale of love conquering adversity that’s sure to make Mike’s mood even worse. It’s going to be awesome.

For now, though, he has to figure out a way to get both of them safely home. He leaves a ridiculous tip for the bartender when he settles his tab, just in case she somehow indirectly contributed to Jensen coming here, and manhandles Mike out into a cab. Mike wakes up a little in the cool night air, leaning on Jared as they wait for the driver to slow down, and asks fuzzily, “Hey, did he come?”

“Yeah, he did,” Jared tells him. “And I made an ass of myself, but he still agreed to go on a date with me.”

“Awesome,” Mike says, then promptly passes out again. But at that point Jared can just unload him into the cab, so it’s okay. Yeah, considering the fact that he just landed a date with his dream guy and he’s getting another chance at eternal happiness with a seriously hot man that’s perfect for him? Yeah, Jared’s more than just okay. He props Mike up against the door, gives the driver their address, and smiles out the window at the city lights flashing by.

*

Jensen’s not exactly sure why he said yes. Well, he never actually said yes, he just gave Jared his number. But when Jared calls him the next day and proposes coffee at a café and he agrees to show up, it’s really the same thing. And even after that, Jensen’s not totally sure why he did it.

He likes Jared. That’s not the problem. Jared’s hot and funny and nice and Jensen had a good time when they were hanging out at the bar.
It’s just that the whole time they were hanging out, Jensen wasn’t evaluating the encounter like it was the potential first meeting for a lifelong commitment, like Jared apparently was. Jensen wasn’t worried about getting to know every last thing about Jared. He was more concerned with figuring out whether Jared was into him and if he’d left anything dirty/embarrassing around his apartment and if he was going to get laid. That was pretty much it.

Because what he told Jared was true - he just moved to the city, he just started a new job, and he’s not really looking for a serious relationship right now. And there’s also the part where Jensen kind of has a thing about serious relationships.

“What thing?” Steve asks when Jensen calls him.

“Like, I don’t have them,” Jensen says. “Ever.”

“That’s not true,” Steve says. “You were with that James dude forever. I think a relationship that lasts almost a year counts as serious.”

“But it wasn’t,” Jensen protests. “I mean, yeah, we were together for a year. But we weren’t together. We were just…you know.” He makes a hand gesture that’s kind of meaningless when Steve can’t see it.

But Steve gets it anyway. “Just fucking?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Jensen considers. “Well, we hung out and stuff. But it was mostly leading up to the fucking part.”

“But it’s not like you’ve never dated anyone,” Steve points out, trying a new tack. “You date.”

“Okay, yes,” Jensen admits. “But it’s not because I’m looking for someone to settle down with or anything. It’s just casual. For fun. I’m not thinking every second that we might get married or whatever.”

“Because you don’t want to settle down and get married.”

“Right.”

There’s muffled conversation in the background, and Jensen can hear Steve laugh at something before telling someone to shut up. “Okay, then,” he says, uncovering the phone. “So don’t marry Jared.”

“Not planning on it,” Jensen says, rolling his eyes.

“Problem solved,” Steve says. And then, “Shit, you were supposed to take a left there.”

Jensen pauses on the crowded sidewalk outside his building. “What? No, I wasn’t.”

“No, not you,” Steve says. “Sorry, Jensen, Chris is in the middle of getting us lost in the wilderness and I have to make sure we get to civilization before our show. Talk to you later, okay?”

And then he’s gone, and Jensen still doesn’t have an answer to his problem. He sighs and flips his phone closed, turning to go into his building. But he’s been stationary for a second too long, and the flow of foot traffic around him has diverted, sending him crashing into a tiny girl that goes flying.

“Oh, Jesus, I’m so sorry,” Jensen says, dropping the phone and rushing to help her up and gather her things.

“No problem,” she says, brushing herself off and picking up her purse. “No harm done.”

But one of the plastic grocery bags she was holding flew a few feet away, and when Jensen lifts it up it’s clear that the tomatoes she was bringing home are now closer to tomato sauce. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I’ll pay for new ones.”

“No, really, it’s okay,” the girl says, laughing. “I actually hate tomatoes. I was just buying them for my roommate. You’re actually doing me a favor by smashing them into a pulp.”

“Okay, you’re like, so nice it’s kind of scaring me,” Jensen says, handing her the squishy remains of her tomatoes. “Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe this is the concussion talking.”

She laughs again. “I’m fine, seriously. I’m just ridiculously happy today, so not even getting clotheslined on the sidewalk can get me down. I guess you picked the right person to slam into.”

“Yeah, lucky me,” Jensen says. “Out of curiosity, is there a secret to this insane happiness thing you’ve got going on? Because if it comes in a bottle or a pill or whatever, I’m totally sold.”

“I just got engaged,” the girl says, flashing a ring. “And the nauseatingly happy part is actually about the true love thing, not the diamond, so I don’t think you can buy it. Sorry.”

Well, that figures. “That’s okay,” Jensen mutters. “I’m actually trying very hard not to get married at the moment, so I’ll just have to stay cranky.”

The girl gives him a curious look, but Jensen shakes his head and says, “Look, no matter how happy you are, I won’t feel right about this until I buy you some new tomatoes. Give me five minutes at the nearest store to make it up to you?”

“You’re really making it up to my roommate, but sure,” the girl says, falling into step with him. “I’m Allie, by the way.”

“Jensen.”

She gives him an odd look, but they’re already around the corner and at the store Jensen was heading for. As they go through the door and head for the produce, she says, “Out of curiosity, is there any particular reason you’re so cranky?”

“Relationship issues,” Jensen tells her. “Or, well, lack-of-relationship issues.”

She looks intrigued, and after a second’s hesitation, Jensen finds himself spilling the whole stupid thing to her as they browse the minimal produce selection. It’s probably not the best idea to throw his whole dating history at some random stranger he nearly took out five minutes ago, but she’s a great listener, and for some reason he just keeps rambling at her.

“So the thing is, do I go on a date with this guy, knowing it’s not going anywhere? Or do I just tell him right now what the deal is and call the whole thing off?” Jensen asks Allie.

“Why isn’t it going anywhere?” she asks, turning it back on him.

“Because I don’t want it to,” Jensen says. “I don’t want something serious.”

“What’s wrong with serious?”

Jensen frowns. “It’s just so - it always gets messy and complicated.”

“So then it’s not worth it?”

“Well,” Jensen says. “No.”

Allie just purses her lips, picking up a tomato and checking it for spots, and Jensen remembers again that they know each other, oh, not at
all, and this is so weird.

“Great,” he says, shaking his head. “Now you think I’m a total head case and a jerk who knocks girls down on the street.”

“What I think, Jensen,” Allie says, selecting two tomatoes and pulling him toward the front, “is that you need to stop thinking so much.” She sets the tomatoes down at the register. “Go on the date with this guy. Don’t worry about where it’s going or if you’re leading him on, just worry about if you’re having a good time. And if you are, then go with it. If it turns out he wants something more serious than you do, then you can decide together what to do about it.” She plucks the cash from his fingers, hands it to the cashier, and winks at him as she picks up her tomatoes. “Thanks for the tomatoes, Jensen.”

“Uh, you’re welcome,” he says, a little taken aback by how simple she made the whole mess sound. “Thanks for the advice.”

She grins. “No problem. I’m pretty sure it’s my civic duty as a disgustingly happy newly-engaged person to try to help other people find romantic happiness.” She pauses, her hand on the door. “Plus, I kind of had an ulterior motive.”

Jensen opens his mouth to ask what it is, but with another grin, Allie waves and ducks through the door and disappears before he can say a thing.

He stares at the doorway for a second, then turns back to the guy at the cash register, who shrugs. “You heard the woman,” he says. “Go for it.”

Jensen shakes his head, but in the end that’s really the best advice he’s gotten all day. He’s just going to have to go on the date with Jared and see how it goes.

*

Awesome, it turns out. Jensen’s nervous as hell for no reason he can figure out when he ducks out of work that afternoon, but once he gets over the initial awkwardness of it all - sitting at a table to wait, stirring his latte a little more than necessary and glancing up every two seconds - Jared strolls in and gives him one of those wide grins, and Jensen feels himself start to relax. And when Jared’s got his own drink and settles in across from him, asking about work and his day, they fall into conversation without a problem. Pretty soon Jensen is recounting a story about one of his most bizarre interviews (it involved being dragged to a basement lab and being subjected to weird tests by some random professor, all in the name of crappy fluff journalism) and Jared is cracking up, grinning at Jensen like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard, and Jensen realizes that hey, this is easy.

They talk for almost two hours, just back and forth and laughing about their coworkers and jobs and Jared’s students and the city, and by the time Jensen’s phone beeps with a reminder, he’s actually kind of stupidly glad he came. So when Jared grabs his wrist and asks if they can get together again later in the week, this time for dinner, he says yes. Not maybe or I’ll let you know, just yes. He likes Jared, he had a good time having coffee with him, and he wants to do this again. He gives Jared a brief goodbye kiss, and takes off for his next crazy interview with a smile on his face.

*

“Do I look okay?” Jared asks for the millionth time.

“Yes, Jared,” Allie says, also for the millionth time.

“Yeah, totally,” Adrianne throws in, just for some variety. “If I wasn’t a completely monogamous engaged lesbian, I’d be all over you.”

Jared blinks. “Really?”

“No.”

Jared sticks out his tongue. They’re in the bar under their building (well, the one where Jared, Allie and Adrianne live and Mike just happens to spend ninety-five percent of his time, because he’s a parasite like that), waiting for Jensen to show up for his date with Jared. Adrianne’s looking forward to meeting this Jensen guy, because from Jared’s description, he has to be some kind of combination of a male model, genius, and genuinely nice guy, and Adrianne’s not sure such a thing exists in nature. Jared might have dreamed this guy up.

Mike shrugs. “Hey, if I wasn’t a horny and indiscriminate womanizer, I’d be all over you.”

“Really?” Allie asks.

“Eh, probably,” Mike admits. “I mean, the horny and indiscriminate part still stands, so.”

“Wow, that’s…thanks, I guess?” Jared says. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

“Either way, you’re not freaking out about your clothes, so I think it’s an improvement,” Adrianne puts in. “Seriously, Jared, you look fine. Stop worrying about it.”

Jared looks uncomfortable, fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. “I can’t. This is different from our last date. I have to look really good.”

Adrianne’s about to ask why (because she’s been Jared’s best friend for eight years now, but she still can’t keep ahead of his random ideas about stuff), but Mike cuts in before her with a lewd grin.

“Ah, I know that look,” he says, patting Jared on the back. “Boy’s looking to get laid.”

Jared flushes and sinks down in his seat. “Is it that obvious?”

Mike shrugs. “I could just be really familiar with the symptoms. But I thought you already tried that with him and got turned down.”

“That was different,” Jared repeats. “That was a drunken hookup. This is our second date. He’s actually going to be sober and making good decisions tonight. Well, hopefully.”

“And you think that’s going to make him more likely to sleep with you?” Mike asks skeptically.

“Hey,” Jared says, punching him in the arm.

“Oh, Jared,” Allie says. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? He’s got commitment issues, you know.”

Jared blinks. “Jensen does?”

“It’s pretty clear that he does, from what you’ve told us,” Adrianne says quickly, covering Allie’s slip. Allie shoots her a grateful look, and Adrianne remembers again just how fun it is to have a fiancée who can’t keep a secret to save her life. It was pretty much a given that Adrianne had to be the one proposing, because Allie would have blurted it out before she’d even looked at rings or made a dinner reservation.

“Okay, maybe,” Jared concedes. “But there was definite chemistry between us before. And I just thought that if we, you know, reminded ourselves of that, things might be a little easier.”

“Wait, you’re saying that you’re going to try to get him to sleep with you so he’ll like you better?” Adrianne clarifies.

“Jared, he already likes you,” Allie says. “And sex isn’t going to solve his deeper relationship issues.”

“I know,” Jared says. “I just think that it can’t hurt. He already likes me, yeah, so adding in hot sex can only improve things even more.” He
pauses. “Plus, I really, really want to get laid.”

“Can’t fault that logic,” Mike says, biting down on a fry.

“If that’s what passes for logic in your world, I - “ Adrianne pauses. “Wow. I understand a lot more about you now.”

“Really?” Allie asks dryly. “I didn’t think there was that much to understand.”

“Shut up, I’m totally complex,” Mike says. “I have layers.”

“Can we please keep them covered up, then?” Jared interrupts. “Because Jensen’s going to be here in like, ten seconds, and I’d really like
him to think I have sensible, mature friends.”

Mike tsks. “Lying to the guy already, Jare? That can’t be good.”

Adrianne takes the ketchup and mustard bottles out of Mike’s reach (because sometimes when Mike gets bored he likes to create edible art that tends toward the obscene) and pats Jared on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll behave.”

“Thanks.”

“Where is Jensen, anyway?” Allie asks, sitting up to look over the booths toward the door. “Wasn’t he supposed to be here at eight?”

“It’s only seven fifty-eight,” Adrianne points out. “And you don’t know what he looks like anyway.”

“Oh, right,” Allie says, laughing a little too loud. “That’s totally right, I forgot.”

Adrianne nudges her pointedly under the table, because Allie going for casual lying is pretty much like anyone else shouting the truth through a bullhorn, and Jared’s starting to look a little suspicious. But thankfully, Jensen seems to be the punctual type, and before Jared can say anything, he’s coming up to the table.

Jared stands up to say hi, leaning in to give Jensen an awkward little half-hug, and then he turns to do the introductions. “Everyone, this is Jensen. Jensen, this is Mike, Adrianne, and - “

“Allie,” Jensen finishes for him, sounding a little incredulous.

“Uh, yeah,” Jared falters. “You two know each other?”

Allie beams. “We’ve met.”

“Yeah,” Jensen says, looking kind of confused. “I crushed her tomatoes.”

Mike snorts. “I thought she only let Adrianne touch her tomatoes.”

Adrianne doesn’t think she can be blamed for reaching across the table to smack Mike upside the head. From Jensen’s look, he doesn’t either.

“No, not - that,” he says hastily. “I knocked her down on the street, and her tomatoes got smashed.”

“And then he bought me new ones,” Allie announces. “You were very kind, Jensen.”

“And you said you had an ulterior motive for the advice,” Jensen says slowly, looking between Allie and Jared. “The whole time, you knew - ?”

Allie shrugs. “There can’t be that many cute guys named Jensen wandering around this city worrying about going on a date with a guy who’s maybe stalking them. It wasn’t that hard to figure out.”

Jared blinks. “Wait, what? You told Jensen to go on a date with me?” He turns to Jensen. “And you were worried about going out with me?” He pauses, then turns back to Allie. “And you actually kept that a secret this whole time?”

Allie nods, beaming.

“I’ve been distracting her a lot,” Adrianne puts in, feeling like there should be some explanation here other than Allie’s iron willpower, which everyone knows is totally nonexistent. “You didn’t think it was suspicious that I kept coming up with interruptions every time you talked about Jensen in the last week?”

Jared tilts his head, considering. “Oh. No. I just thought you were sick of hearing about him.”

“My default strategy was throwing whatever food was nearby at your head,” Adrianne points out. It worked most of the time because Jared, though remarkably persistent when it came to the topic of Jensen, also hates it when food of any kind goes to waste, and he’d inevitably end up trying to catch it instead of talking.

Mike shrugs. “I’m with Jared. I see nothing new here.”

“Whatever,” Allie says, waving her hand. “Anyway, Jared, the point is, you have Jensen to thank for those tomatoes I brought home.”

Jared laughs. “And apparently I have you to thank for Jensen actually going out with me.” He looks over at Jensen, who’s been kind of quiet. “Which reminds me, we were going to do that same thing tonight. We should probably go.”

“Yeah,” Jensen agrees. “I’m starving.” He gives a grin and a little wave to everyone at the table. “Nice to meet you guys. Allie, nice to meet you again.”

“Hey, you’ve met me before, too,” Mike points out. “Granted, the first time I was drunk and seducing a bachelorette party and the second time I was drunk and passed out on the bar, but I think it still counts.”

To his credit, Jensen doesn’t even blink. “Nice to meet you sober and conscious, then.”

Mike laughs. “I actually kind of like this one.”

“Oh, god, we’re leaving right now,” Jared says, taking Jensen’s arm.

Jensen lets himself be pulled away, but when they’re almost to the door, he turns around one last time. “Allie.”

“Yeah?”

He gives her a tiny, shy smile. “Thanks for the advice.”

Allie melts, of course, being the ridiculous sap she is, but even Adrianne has to agree with Mike here. Apparently that wonderful guy Jared kept going on about really does exist, and she actually kind of likes him.

Thankfully, Mike takes that opportunity to say, “I give them a week, tops. And Jared’s definitely not getting laid,” and Adrianne doesn’t have to agree with him for longer than a second, because that would be a little weird.

And also thankfully, Allie leans across the table to smack Mike on the arm before Adrianne can do it, adding, “You’re just jealous. I think they’re perfect for each other.”

Mike rolls his eyes, but as Allie settles back into the seat, leaning into Adrianne, Adrianne thinks she might be right. She kind of hopes so, anyway.

*

“And then the Dr. Frankenstein looks up at the giant castle doors and says, “What knockers!” and she says- “

“Why thank you, doctor,” Jensen quotes Inga, falsetto.

“Yes!” Jared says, laughing. “I thought I was the only person my age who’d seen Young Frankenstein.”

“Dude, it’s a classic.”

“I know! Seriously, that scene with the little girl and the flowers and the well -”

“Cracks me up every single time,” Jensen agrees.

“That scene is the reason I know what it feels like to snort Dr. Pepper out my nose,” Jared says. “And if you’re wondering? It’s horrible. It feels like someone set off fireworks inside your nostrils.”

“Wow, thanks for that image,” Jensen says, but he’s laughing.

And so is Jared. Despite the evening getting off to a slightly awkward start, things are actually going pretty well. They walked to a restaurant one of Jensen’s coworkers recommended, a little Italian place with funky décor that Jared keeps threatening to steal and glue to Jensen’s walls (because what Jensen really needs is a blue French horn losing him his security deposit), and after ordering from the simple menu, they haven’t had a problem keeping the conversation going. Jared has four classes of hormonal high schoolers, which makes for a lot of crazy stories, and with Jensen’s job (which can be equally weird, if a little more adult-focused) and now both of their friends thrown into the mix, they have plenty to talk about. And, as Jared was so delighted to discover on their first meeting, they also have a love of cheesy sci-fi movies in common, so they’ve spent almost half an hour and trading references over their pasta.

It’s nice. More than nice, actually. Jensen feels comfortable with Jared, in a way that he hasn’t in a long time. Somehow Jared makes him feel like he can say anything, no matter how stupid - Jared just listens and finds something to say in reply, no matter how inane or random Jensen’s comments seem to him. It makes it a lot easier for Jensen to relax and be himself, and by the time they devour a dish of tiramisu and split the bill, he’s feeling pretty good.

So when Jared ducks his head and asks Jensen a little shyly if he’d maybe like to come back to his place, looking up through his bangs with an adorably hesitant smile, Jensen doesn’t bother thinking about it. He just smiles and stands up, holding out a hand, and says, “Lead the way.”

Jared doesn’t let go of Jensen’s hand as they’re walking back to his building, and Jensen’s okay with that. More than okay, actually, because it gives him an excuse to brush up against Jared while they’re walking, which reminds him just how solid and strong Jared is. Jensen was a little drunk the last time they got naked together, but he remembers what Jared was like - he’s revisited the memory enough in the shower to have a pretty good mental picture - and he’s really hoping they’re going to repeat the naked together part.

Judging by the way Jared’s sneaking glances out of the corner of his eye as Jensen leans into him, Jensen’s pretty sure Jared’s thinking the same thing. And when they get up to the apartment (which is suspiciously clean and very conveniently roommate-free), Jensen’s suspicions are all but confirmed.

So when Jared takes his coat and says, “Um, do you want something to drink? Beer or soda or coffee or something?” Jensen just smiles, steps in close enough to take the front of Jared’s shirt in his hands, and says, “I was thinking more along the lines of some really good sex.”

“Nnngh,” Jared says.

Jensen raises his eyebrows. “That okay?”

This time Jared responds in actual words, but it’s just a fast, breathy “Oh god, yes,” before he grabs Jensen and hauls him into a kiss.
And from there it’s only too easy to strip each other out of their shirts and stumble their way over to Jared’s bedroom. Well, it’s not totally easy, because walking while you’ve got your tongue in someone else’s mouth is never easy, and when you’re not willing to separate for even a microsecond, you’re pretty much bound to run into something. But that something turns out to be the wall outside Jared’s room, and as soon as Jensen’s back hits it Jared is pressing him up against it, grinding into him as he sucks a line of kisses along Jensen’s collarbone, and Jensen is really totally okay with that.

In fact, screw the bedroom - he’s okay with the two of them having sex right up against that wall. Beds are nice and all, but that would require taking his hand out of Jared’s pants long enough to actually move, and the noises Jared’s making as Jensen jerks him are really not something he’s willing to give up, even for a minute.

Which is unfortunate, because that’s when there’s a knock on the door. Jensen is all for ignoring it, and Jared seems to agree, pushing his hips into Jensen’s hand and kissing him hard. But then the knock comes again, and childish voices outside the door chorus, “Jared?” and the man in question stiffens - and not in the fun way Jensen would prefer.

“Shit,” he says, pulling away.

“Jared, don’t - “

“Sorry, it’s just if I don’t answer, they sometimes just come in,” Jared explains hastily, dragging a hand across his mouth as he snags his shirt from the floor and throws it on, dragging the tails down awkwardly over his crotch.

Jensen’s not sure who they are or why they’d burst in (or why the fuck Jared didn’t lock the door, which is generally a good thing to do when you’re at least hoping to get naked with someone), but since Jared’s already heading for the door, he grabs his own shirt off the floor and buttons it up as he sits down on the couch.

He can’t see who Jared’s talking to when he opens the door, thanks to a wall and a bookcase that blocks everything past Jared from view, but he can tell from the high voices that it’s kids, two of them. Jared says hi to both of them, staying in the doorway so they can’t come in, but they don’t seem to notice. They’re too busy telling him something about school - some project they had to do, something about pets and making pictures. Jensen loses the conversation as it goes between the kids as they talk over each other, but Jared seems to understand it just fine, and when it becomes clear that the kids made something for someone named Sadie and Harley, Jared drops down to their height and says, “Thanks, guys, this is amazing!” and leans in to look. His tone is bright and friendly, nothing to indicate that he just got interrupted in the middle of a handjob, and he takes the time to exclaim about several different details and compliment both artists before promising to pass the present on to the mysterious Sadie and Harley.

“They’ll love it,” he assures the kids. “And I’ll tell them they have to draw a picture of you, too.”

The kids giggle, and Jared straightens up as he gently but firmly sends them on their way, saying goodbye and waving after them as he shuts his door.

When he comes back around the corner, he’s holding two pieces of construction paper covered in bright, colorful childish strokes and grinning. “Sorry,” he says as he sees Jensen sitting there. “They’re my neighbor’s kids, they like to come over sometimes.”

“It’s okay,” Jensen says. “They drew something for you?”

“For my dogs,” Jared corrects, holding up the drawings.

Jensen looks at the hairy stick blobs on the page, then at the apartment around him. “You have dogs?”

Jared laughs. “Yeah, sorry, forgot to tell you. They live with my parents at the moment, actually - it didn’t seem fair to coop them up in an apartment when they can have a yard. But my parents bring them up for weekends sometimes, and the kids love to come to the park and play with them.” He grins down at the drawings again. “Enough that they drew them both pictures to decorate their doghouses, apparently.”
He waves the drawings at Jensen. “Hang on a second, I need to find somewhere safe to put these so I don’t forget them.”

He’s only gone a few seconds, ducking into his bedroom, but it’s long enough that Jensen realizes something. It’s kind of stupid and obvious, but it hits him from out of nowhere - he likes Jared. A lot. And he already knew that - he wouldn’t have gone out with Jared and had a partial-night-stand with him if he didn’t - but now, suddenly, it strikes him just how much he likes Jared.

Because Jared cared enough to pursue him, because Jared makes him laugh, because Jared’s a fabulous listener, because they had a great dinner, because Jared takes his neighbor’s kids drawings seriously - because he’s Jared.

And that’s a scary thought, because liking someone this much only makes it more clear how much it would suck to lose them.

Jensen doesn’t want to lose Jared. Serious relationships always end messy, and he doesn’t want to fuck things up between them or make it so awkward they stop talking to each other. He’s not even sure it’d be possible to hate Jared, but he doesn’t want to find out. He likes him too much for that.

And Jared is - well. Jared’s sweet and funny and hot and amazing, but he’s looking for someone to love and cuddle and have his own adorable kids that will draw pictures of his dogs, and that’s just not Jensen. Even if he and Jared sleep together, he’s not going to wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly want to be in a serious relationship. It’s not going to mean anything. Not like it would to Jared.
And that bit of insight right there leads to another (horribly depressing) realization.

When Jared comes back, dropping onto the couch next to Jensen and sliding a hand along his thigh and saying, “Sorry for the distraction. Where were we?” all deep and husky and unbelievably sexy, Jensen doesn’t grab him and kiss him the way he wants to.

Instead, after he thinks about just how unfucking fair life really is, he takes a deep breath, leans back, and says, “I should probably go.”

Jared looks like someone just yanked away the very large sprinkle-covered chocolate cupcake they’d been dangling in front of him. “What? Why?”

Jensen sighs. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Because of the kids?” Jared asks. “Because they’re not coming back, and I triple-locked the door this time. I’m not answering any more doors or phones unless there’s some kind of nuclear attack.”

“It’s not that.” Jensen drags himself to his feet.

“Then what?” Jared asks, following. “You have something against sleeping with people who own dogs? You’re allergic to buildings with children living in them?”

“No, and no.”

“Then what?” Jared repeats, hand coming down on Jensen’s shoulder and turning him to face him, forcing Jensen to meet his eyes.

He’s confused and unhappy and it makes Jensen feel like shit, but he doesn’t know how to do this any other way. “I just don’t think we should do this.” He waves a hand between them. “Us.”

Jared’s shoulders sag. “Why?”

There a dozen things Jensen could say - I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to fuck this up - that would be true. But instead, when he opens his mouth, he ends up saying, “Because I like you.”

Jared blinks. “You don’t want to have sex with me because you like me?” He frowns. “Do you want me to insult you or something?”

“No, it’s just - Jared, me sleeping with you isn’t going to make this work. It’s not going to make me ready to settle down, it’s not going to make us want the same things.”

“Who cares?” Jared asks a little desperately.

“You do,” Jensen points out.

Jared waves this off. “So what? We don’t have to think about that right now. Can’t we just see how this goes, and worry about the rest later?”

He starts off hopeful, but by the end of it Jensen can see he doesn’t really believe what he’s saying.

Jared scans his face, then sighs. “Yeah, probably not.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, okay, then,” Jared says awkwardly. “Um. I guess I’ll see you? Around?” He rubs at the back of his neck. “I promise I won’t stalk the bars by your building this time, if that makes you feel any better.”

“Actually, um,” Jensen says, surprising himself, “I was thinking it’d be nice if - well. I kind of like us like this,” he stumbles, gesturing between the two of them.

Jared blinks. “Like what? Me making an ass of myself and you turning me down repeatedly?”

“No. Like testing each other on movie references and hanging out and making fun of bizarrely painted musical instruments. Us being friends.”

“Are we friends?” Jared asks.

Jensen shrugs. “I don’t know. But I think maybe we could be.” He can’t quite meet Jared’s eyes, so he drops his gaze to Jared’s partially buttoned shirt. “I mean, if you haven’t noticed, the only other people I really know in this city just left on a cross-country tour, so you know. I could kind of use a friend right now. If you’re interested.”

Jared doesn’t answer right away, just crosses his arms over his chest (which makes Jensen consider just how much he hates his life, because seriously, doing the right thing is so unfair when he could be doing Jared and his amazingly hot arms), but when he finally responds, it’s with a rueful laugh. “Yeah, I am,” he says, giving Jensen a little grin. “Friends, then?”

It’s kind of stupid how happy those two little words make Jensen. “Yeah,” he says, returning the smile.

He may have just given up the hottest sex of his life, but he doesn’t have to give Jared up anytime soon, and that’s worth a hell of a lot.

*

Part Three