Dec 20, 2010 23:03
In highschool, I did something that wasn't good. I got involved with a good friends boyfriend, who also happened to be my best friend. It ended poorly to say the least- everyone found out, hated me, and he ended up choosing the other girl. I was shunned for almost an entire year, miserable, wishing someone would at least talk to me. There were several days that no one did.
I wished someone would ask me my side, reach out to me, and realize that I did what I just needed to do at the time. wished they could see how much i thought I was in love, and how love could solve all that.
Recently, two of my good friends, who have been dating for years, broke up due to one of my friends dating another close friend within our circle, who happened to be the best friend of the boyfriend. It has been pretty ugly, and no one has been talking to either people.
I met with her last night. She seemed lonely. At first I was judgmental, indignant on my friends behalf. After seeing her, I remembered how much I was hurting, lonely, wishing someone could talk to me. After talking to her, I realized that she looked, while lonely, more put together than she has been in years, finally standing on her own two feet instead of relying on her ex boyfriend. She made some poor decisions, which she admitted, but also pointed out how horribly unhappy she was and had no idea how to fix the situation.
These recent events have made me begin thinking about some things- where is the line between what you need to do for yourself and for someone else. When do your desires trump something, and does that make it right, or at least, understandable? At the time, when I made my own decisions, I knew it wasn't a fair decision, and yet it was something I had to do for me. It was something I needed to see for myself. I thought I was in love for the first time. Does that make it right? No. Does it mean everyone had the right to shun me? I don't know.
I do know now, I will look at my former friends and realized while I don't approve of them hurting my other friend, I do understand that they wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for some important reason. This isn't a passing fancy, they are both happy and together.
Maybe I don;t have to condone their behavior to at least be happy that they are all finally where they should be and understand no body or situation is perfect and no one makes the right decisions all the time, and morality is a gray area