I Blame Ki
It's all her fault. Well, I did ask for something else to do other than Bikou/Tsuba drabbles and now...here it is. All 9 pages of glory. And did I mention it's !crack!?
Inspired/challenge by Ki. AU - Tsuba made ANBU and there is no war…
Oh, Dear!
Tsuba stared. Long and hard and unblinking.
It couldn't be right. Her eyes must be deceiving her. She closed them and then peeked at the mission assignment again, feeling her cheeks begin to burn. This had to be a joke.
She hurried through the ANBU corridors and spotted a familiar and tall figure. The captain of two squad, Raven, was coming the other direction.
"Um, Danzou?"
He flicked his eyes up to her and paused. "Yes?"
She hesitated a moment and then met his eyes. "Is Ryuu in? I need to speak with him."
"He should be in his office, for a little longer at least." He nodded his head in the general direction.
"Ah, thank you, Danzou." She bowed her head and hurried to the office, pausing outside the door before knocking. "Um, Ryuu? Can I speak to you for a minute?"
"Come in," Ryuu's voice came from the other side of the door.
She opened the door and slipped inside, closing it tightly behind her. Ryuu was sitting at his desk, still poring over mission reports and seemingly quite focused on it. A few minutes passed before Ryuu looked up.
"Yes, Tsuba?"
"Um, well, I didn't mean to disturb you Ryuu-san, but I just, well, it's, I, well-"
Ryuu leaned forward and cleared his throat, effectively silencing her. "You're using 'san' again. Can you get to the point of it?" he gestured to the stack of papers still on his desk.
"Right," she felt her cheeks darken a little. "I just got my latest mission assignment and well…I um, have a few worries about it."
"The one to Kantoji?" he continued when she nodded. "What's the problem?"
"Well," she shifted her weight for a second. "To be perfectly honest? I'm not sure I'm up to the task."
He raised an eyebrow at this. "Not up to the task?"
Tsuba glanced away, then met his eyes. "Well, I don't think I'm suited for the task. I know kenjutsu, taijutsu, ninjutsu, genjutsu…but…this?"
"Are you ANBU or are you not, Tsuba?"
"I am." She stiffened and nodded. "I'm sorry for my temporary doubts. Sorry to take up your time," she bowed her head and left his office.
--------------------
She thought she was going to die, but at least she was there. Tsuba fidgeted with her kimono one more time before she dared to enter ANBU headquarters. She felt so awkward, even though she knew she appeared to be a pristine traditional woman.
Tsuba could only pray that she didn't run into anyone. She feared any reception she'd get - even that of the women ANBU members. The hallways seemed longer than usual and as soon as Hare turned a corner, Tsuba bit her lip. There went getting to Ryuu's office unscathed.
"What have we here?" he grinned, putting a hand to his chin as he appraised her. "A woman in her true element, eh?"
Tsuba narrowed her eyes and found Hare, Otter, and Dog - including the ninken - blocking her path with broad grins.
"Tsuba-chan, I never knew you could be so cute," Otter laughed, reaching out and poking her cheek.
She tolerated the poke, looking to the side.
"You dressed up just for us?" Dog bared his fangs in a grin, flaring his nostrils and setting his hand on her head. "Come 'ere guys, you gotta get a whiff. Tsuba-chan smells like lavender. Or wait, is it something else?" He breathed in again, his ninken rumbling in agreement.
Tsuba stiffened and snapped at them. "You say one more word about it and I swear I'll-"
"Ooo," Otter grinned and moved to her side, grinning at her. "Got a hot date? Let me guess, it's Danzou!"
She reached for his throat, but only managed to grab his shirt collar. "If I wasn’t dressed like this I'd cut you to shreds, Touji!"
Otter just grinned all the broader.
"Ah, did we ruffle your feathers? Didn't mean to, 'specially when you make such an adorable little bird." Hare leaned in and took a whiff. "You're right, she does smell good."
Tsuba took that moment to lash out, not caring that she was in full kimono with her hair done up and make-up on her face. She pushed Otter towards the wall, shoved off Dog's hand and threw herself at Hare. She pushed him back nearly a foot and would have nicely shoved her fist into his gut - or maybe knee his groin at this point - but Ryuu's voice echoed down the hallway.
"Save the killing for the mission field. Tsuba, in my office."
Hare released Tsuba's wrists and patted her head. "No harm, no foul, oof!" He pulled his hand back and rubbed his stomach.
Tsuba merely shot a glare at the three men - ignoring the ninken for the moment - snatched up her bag, and then followed Ryuu down the hall. She let out a heavy breath.
"Sorry," she muttered.
"Not needed. I expected some kind of reaction."
She looked to the side and followed him into the office, her eyes spotting the gray short coat hanging on the wall. It being in Ryuu's office made her begin to wonder. She closed the door behind her and darted her eyes back to Ryuu. "Since this mission is to impersonate a newlywed couple, can I know who is supposed to be the husband?"
Ryuu settled into his chair. "Me."
Tsuba stared and then let out a choking sound.
"It's a mission, Tsuba. We both fit the profile. You know how to behave properly for the situation, what to say, how to dress, all of that. And I'm an Uchiha, as much as I'd like to forget it."
"O-of course, Ryuu. Forgive me." She lowered her eyes, hoping she wasn't blushing.
He waited a moment, then gestured to a chair to her right. "This shouldn't take much explanation." Ryuu debriefed her for the rest of the mission. He was supposed to be a wealthy son, Takano Ebizou. She was his new bride, Takano Midoriko, formerly of the Nakamura line. She was everything a traditional civilian was supposed to be, though perhaps a bit old fashioned. Ebizou was young, athletic, and spoiled. The rest of the mission was just trivial facts and associates they were supposed to make. An easy enough mission.
Tsuba just hoped she could survive this.
--------------------
They arrived at the hotel late in the evening and Tsuba was glad her character was supposed to be demure. That way she didn't have to put her arm through Ryuu's or flirt or…well, act like a newlywed. She was sure she'd have to be attentive soon enough, but for now, bowing her head behind him and staying quiet worked just fine.
They dropped off their things in the room and Tsuba held back a cringe at the solitary bed. Sure, it was big, but…never mind that.
Ryuu paused after setting down the bags. "How are you doing, Midoriko?"
"Just a little anxious, Ebizou." She smiled softly. "Such intimacies can be stressful things, ne?"
"Ah," he nodded and set a hand on her shoulder. "Just remember your duties."
The usual spark in her eyes returned for a moment. "Always."
"Good," he smiled and led the way out, ordering dinner for both of them.
They ate with very few words exchanged, much to Tsuba's relief. No one approached them until the end of the meal and it happened to be a younger girl asking Tsuba about her kimono.
"Ah, it was my mother's when she was my age," she smiled softly and bowed her head. "I am honored to wear it."
"It's just so pretty," the girl grinned and leaned closer, whispering to Tsuba. "At least your husband is cute!"
Tsuba's eyes widened and then she let herself laugh. "Ah, I was lucky." Don't blush. Don't blush. Or at least not a lot.
No more people spoke to them. Tsuba was quite relieved. The walk back to the room was short and Tsuba stiffened as Ryuu began to undress. She turned away and diverted her eyes, fingering her obi mindlessly as she listened to him change.
"No need to be shy," Ryuu smiled and went over to the bed, sitting on the far side and pointedly keeping his back to her.
Tsuba covered her nervous gasp with a little giggle, cringing inside from the sound. She fidgeted for a moment, then set a hand on the intricate knot on her back. "Actually, I'll…need your help."
Ryuu turned around and gave her a questioning look. Either Tsuba wanted to whisper something to him or she really did need his help. But he couldn't imagine that kimonos could be that complex.
Tsuba looked over at him and smiled weakly, somehow keeping her voice cheery. "Ah, dearest, you forgot that I had help getting into this beautiful robe. I certainly can't get out of it without help." Tsuba was extremely glad this kimono had more than one layer. Once Ryuu got the first one off her she could handle the rest. And she could get this one off if she really worked at it, but it would likely ruin the kimono.
"Right," he got to his feet and scanned over the obi as he approached. "Which one do I pull?"
She felt them for a moment. "I think it's this one," she tapped one of them. "Just be gentle with it, if you can. It really is a delicate kimono."
"Of course, Midoriko." Ryuu smiled and tugged on the indicated piece of obi. The material slid out and before long the entire obi fell to the floor.
Tsuba glanced over her shoulder. "Help me shrug this top layer off and that should be all."
He nodded and grabbed the wide collar just above her collar bone, pulling it back gently as she rotated her shoulders backwards and stepped out of the robe. This left her with something looking more like a yukata than the elegant garment Ryuu now held in his hands.
Once free of it, she turned around and took it from him, nodding and folding it properly. Then she gathered up the obi and folded that as well, setting them in a drawer and setting her hands on her hips. She spotted the small bathroom and nodded to Ryuu, going into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
Ryuu got comfortable on the bed again, closing his eyes and listening to the faint sounds of Tsuba in the bathroom. He peered over at her with one eye cracked open when she emerged dressed in a yukata and now with a plain face and her hair down. She gave a tired smile and sat on the bed, drawing up one leg and sighing.
"Are you tired yet?"
"Not particularly." He rolled onto his side.
"Could…" Tsuba lowered her eyes to the bed. "Could we talk?"
"Of course," he flashed her a grin and sat up. "What's on your mind, dearest?"
She visibly tensed. She knew the room wasn't entirely secure, otherwise she'd have preferred to sleep on the floor or have him down there, or something. But a mission was a mission. Now all she had to do was figure out how to explain her worries in a cryptic method. "I can't help but be anxious, you know me. We are newlyweds after all, I'm still not sure of myself as a wife." She did her best to quell the cringe, but knew Ryuu saw it. He spotted everything. But at least her voice stayed steady. "I know you've told me time and time again, but I always manage to forget them. How am I to treat my dear husband?"
Ryuu narrowed his eyes, but kept his voice more optimistic. "Weren't you raised with this protocol?"
"I never took an interest, don't you remember? But I do wish to please you. If only I could show my adorations through actions and words, oh, I'm a miserable wife."
Ryuu kept his eyes on her. He knew Tsuba would be anxious about the mission - she seemed to get anxious over anything of the social nature - but he had been sure she could do this without a hitch. Well, less of a hitch than the rest of the female ANBU candidates. Hige, certainly not, Chihiro was a bit too close to home, and well…the rest were either too aggressive or too scarred. But if he was reading her right…she was worried about affection towards him in general. "You don't trust yourself, do you?"
"Not in this situation," she met his eyes for a moment. "You know I wasn't a flirt when I was younger."
Ryuu gave her a confused look. He would have to know specifics to know how to alleviate the problem. And she wasn't making the answer very clear, though they didn't have the ability to speak freely.
She let out a sigh and grabbed his hand, writing on his palm with her finger tip. Ryuu nodded, the message was clear now.
He cocked his head. "Should we give it a try then?" It wasn't what he had expected, but it made sense. If the situation arose and she hesitated, things would not bode well.
The blush flared on her cheeks and she simply kept her eyes down, dropping her hands to the bed.
Ryuu waited a moment, then sighed and lay back on the bed. He wasn't going to force Tsuba into it. But he knew she didn't want to mess up the mission, she was far too much of a perfectionist. And she wouldn't have brought it up otherwise. So he'd just have to persuade her to do it. Prod her if he must. "It's a pity. Your uncle was so thrilled about the news, too."
He could see her stiffen and closed his eyes, letting his handful of well placed words work their magic. It didn't take more than thirty second before she shifted her weight. Ryuu kept his eyes closed and resisted any change in expression. It likely would be enough of a challenge for her as it was.
Tsuba fidgeted, leaning over Ryuu and glancing around nervously as he didn't move. She cleared her throat, hoping he would sit up or open his eyes or something. But to no avail. So she cleared her throat again.
She was rewarded with him opening one eye to look at her. "Are you going to or not?"
Her cheeks darkened again and she leaned back, looking to the side. "You're not making it any easier," she grumbled.
Ryuu just shrugged and got comfortable. The fewer actions on his part, the better. Tsuba waited another minute and then shifted her weight back again. She took a deeper breath and leaned over him, her lips eerily close before she felt her heart start to race. She couldn't do it - not like this. But if Kensaki knew she was in ANBU and was about to screw up a mission because of emotions… So she hesitated only a second more before she sat back and grabbed onto his shirt. She jerked him upright as she leaned down, closing her eyes tightly.
And kissed him.
Or tried to, at least. She managed to make contact with only part of his bottom lip. Once she realized her mistake she let go and leaned back, setting a hand over her eyes, bowing her head. Maybe Bikou ducked his head whenever she pulled him closer and that made the difference, she'd always been able to hit his lips when she did it with him.
Ryuu sat there with a slightly crooked smile. Well, she'd tried. And had her aim been just a hair higher she would have succeeded. For a moment, he wondered if that had been her first kiss. But he thought he’d heard rumors of her dating an Inuzuka. Surely she'd kissed at least once before.
"I tried," she said, lowering her hand but still not daring to look at him.
"No one's perfect on the first try."
"That wasn't my first."
"So I've heard," he leaned back a little. "Shall we try again?"
Tsuba nodded and gave herself a moment to recompose herself. As soon as she saw his face a blush spread across her cheeks and she knew this wouldn't go well. Not when she was still so anxious. But she had to try. Perhaps she could get it right.
Maybe.
Ryuu leaned into this kiss a little, letting Tsuba lead. It turned out to be quick, a bare brushing of the lips. She lowered her face again and let out a heavy sigh. It was just a kiss. And she was failing miserably.
He watched her for a moment and shook his head a little, tipping up her chin. "Fine, I'll show you. He'll thank me."
Tsuba could only stiffen before Ryuu pulled her head up and kissed her. It wasn't a rough kiss, but she couldn't say it was very gentle either. She let herself relax into it and Ryuu held it for a moment longer.
"Kisses are supposed to be enjoyed, not tolerated."
"O-of course," Tsuba tensed as she realized how breathy she sounded. Surely Ryuu's kiss wouldn't affect her that much. Surely it wouldn't.
He leaned back and stretched out, signaling that he was going to sleep now. She signed that she understood and went over to the light switch, turning it off and then going back to the bed, keeping her back turned to Ryuu. She stared into the darkness and bit her lip.
She liked Bikou. Bikou. Bikou. Why could she still taste Ryuu?
--------------------
The next few days went smoothly, Tsuba only had to kiss him twice in public. And felt sick to her stomach for the next hour or so. Ryuu did most of the speaking, it was only proper of course, but she played her part well when expected to speak. Tsuba had never thought she'd be capable of playing this role - but at least she didn't have to do anything in private. No, those were the missions Tsuba would have been horrified to be assigned. Though she thought that her father had something to do with her never receiving them - or maybe she wasn't superbly attractive. Either way, she didn't mind being a virgin still.
And when Tsuba and Ryuu stepped into the elegant party, she wanted to die. There were just so many people there. She certainly didn't compare, even with the hair-do she'd stressed over for hours previous to the mission and barley managed to get right. Certainly it didn't look right…even if she'd made them a little late. And apologized profusely for it.
But the target, a certain Yoshitsune Taka, was there and after talking with him, Tsuba let herself half-listen to it, the rest of her hearing going to the other party-goers. Secret documents were to be located and they were running out of time. At least they knew that the documents were within the house now. But what part was still a mystery. And there were too many people to try searching or calling on their skill as ANBU.
Tsuba excused herself to get something to drink - she was going to strangle the man if he kept referring to women as objects - and overheard something interesting as she was looking over the selection.
"…we had the meeting an hour ago. Where were you?"
"I'm sorry, but you know my wife. She had to do a whole list of errands before the party. I did mean to come earlier."
"Well, everything's ready to go. And the documents are signed and sealed in the office."
"Yoshitsune-sama's?"
"Ah, usual spot in the desk."
Tsuba kept her eyes down and smiled at the bartender. She had an idea, but it would take Ryuu's help. And a lot of possible embarrassment. But it was a prime opportunity, and they were almost out of time.
"What is your strongest drink, sir?"
"Our strongest?" he looked to her skeptically. "Surely you just want a little sake, nothing more."
The name of it came to her and she leaned closer. "Shouchuu. Where is it? This party's a bore. I can have some, can't I?"
"Well, if you're sure…" he gestured to the very small glasses to her right. "I wouldn't advise more than one or two, though. Especially with your small frame."
"Ah, I thank you for your wisdom." She grabbed one, then swiped a collection of empty glasses into her wide sleeve. Tsuba downed the Shouchuu and had to keep from gagging. It burned all the way down and she forced herself to keep it down. At least it would slur her words. But hopefully not intoxicate her otherwise. She could hope.
Tsuba let a slight swagger come into her step, forced herself to think of the most embarrassing events - the blush came right on cue - and made her way back over to Ryuu. She let out a silly giggle and caught the men's gazes right away.
"Ebizou!" she walked over and let the glasses spill from her sleeve as she clung to his arm, leaning her weight on him. "Mmm, I ne'er knew Shouchuu could be s'good," Tsuba threw in another giggle and leaned her head on his shoulder, grinning stupidly.
"Well, seems Midoriko-san can't hold her alcohol," Yoshitsune laughed. "She must have sweet talked the bartender quite a bit to get that much. He's usually so good about keeping people mostly sober."
"Ah, well, she's got a way with men," Ryuu laughed and really hoped Tsuba had a reason for this. She certainly wouldn't have lost her head in a mission. Not when they were so close. And not with alcohol. He knew her better than that.
"Mmm, you smell good, Ebizou…" she leaned more on him and then tugged on his shirt collar, pulling him down and into a kiss. She pulled him closer and made sure to make it lingering and verging on passionate. Nevermind how much her stomach was twisting up.
Ryuu stiffened at first, then rationalized that Tsuba had to have something in mind. So he returned it with equal fervor. They certainly looked like newlyweds.
"Well, why don't you two get a room?" Yoshitsune laughed. "Wouldn't want to disturb the rest of the guests, would we?"
"Ah, simply can't keep her satiated," Ryuu smirked.
"Mmm, sounds good," she tugged him closer for another kiss and let Ryuu lead her up the stairs, then into a darkened corridor.
As soon as they were out of sight Tsuba broke the kiss and brushed some loose strands of hair out of her face.
"Well, that was something, Midoriko."
"Anything for my dear husband," she smiled and tried to keep her giddy tone. "We should go to Yoshitsune-sama's office, I hear he's got lovely couches."
Ryuu's eyes flashed for a moment. The documents must be there. "Ah, we shouldn't leave those couches unattended, hm?"
The walk to the office was highly embarrassing as whenever anyone came nearby he started nuzzling her again and she, of course, returned it. But they got to the office and slipped inside without being seen. They broke apart once the door was closed and Tsuba headed straight for the desk.
She signaled that it was contained somewhere in the desk and she began opening drawers and rifling through the papers within.
Ryuu nodded and went to work. It didn't take long. Tsuba stuffed them within her kimono and then glared at the door.
He smirked and set his arm over her shoulders. "Just the exit left, dearest. Surely I'm not that repulsive."
"I'm left to wonder," she took a breath and let him lead her out of the office.
Tsuba had never wanted to die more than she did as Ryuu escorted her out of the party. As if he could be any more amorous…
--------------------
This time, as Tsuba entered ANBU Head Quarters, she was dressed in the kimono still, but Ryuu was dressed up as well. And she had let her hair down an hour ago, having gotten tired of the pins and clips days ago. She saw Hare lounging in the courtyard and kept her eyes firmly away from him. But he certainly didn't miss the sight of her. He made his way over, cooing.
"Our little Tsuba-chan's back again! But why isn't your hair up? And the face, it's so plain…"
"Look," she growled, spinning and holding up a hair pin to his throat. "You say anything else and I will shove this into your jugular, no matter to Ryuu being right here."
"Wow, tetchy, aren't we?" Hare put up his hands and backed up a step. "I was just trying to compliment you."
"Compliments would involve lifting up, not pushing down," she pivoted back again and paused at Ryuu's office door, glancing back at him. "You can make the report, I'm changing."
"Sounds reasonable enough," Ryuu smiled.
She nodded and then changed in what was likely her record time, glad to be back in simple hakama and haori. At least this way she could feel right about attacking Hare. As she came back out, she could hear him in Ryuu's office.
"Oh, c'mon, surely you can tell me what the mission was. Right, Ryuu?"
"It's confidential."
She leaned closer to the door as Hare's voice lowered.
"Did you see her naked?"
Tsuba twitched once. Then twice. Then she waited outside the door with the intent to main him. But it wouldn't work, she knew it. So she'd try intimidation. Maybe.
A flat reply was all Ryuu gave. "I told you it was confidential. Now go."
Hare sighed heavily. "You're no fun, Ryuu."
As soon as the door opened Tsuba stood there, arms crossed and face full of malice. Hare tensed.
"I heard."
"It was all in good fun, Tsuba-chan."
"So is a katana slicing your head clean off you neck."
Hare tried to move to the side, only for Tsuba to block him. "Ah, you're always so morbid."
She continued to glare.
"Tsuba," Ryuu sighed. "Let him go."
With a heated glare, she turned and let Hare go, then softened her expression as she looked over at Ryuu. "Am I allowed any retribution?"
"It's just a game to them. The more you react, the more they do."
She looked annoyed and then shook her head. "It's just the refusing to react that's a problem. See you later," she sighed.
"Tsuba."
She turned to look at him and froze as he blew her a kiss.
"Have a good few days off, dearest."
It was all Tsuba could do not to strangle him. So she just slammed the office door shut and stormed out, her riled countenance enough to keep even Hare out of her path.
Ryuu simply grinned and leaned back in his chair.
And I should really be asleep...*dies*
-beloved
Inspired/challenge by Ki. AU - Tsuba made ANBU and there is no war…
Oh, Dear!
Tsuba stared. Long and hard and unblinking.
It couldn't be right. Her eyes must be deceiving her. She closed them and then peeked at the mission assignment again, feeling her cheeks begin to burn. This had to be a joke.
She hurried through the ANBU corridors and spotted a familiar and tall figure. The captain of two squad, Raven, was coming the other direction.
"Um, Danzou?"
He flicked his eyes up to her and paused. "Yes?"
She hesitated a moment and then met his eyes. "Is Ryuu in? I need to speak with him."
"He should be in his office, for a little longer at least." He nodded his head in the general direction.
"Ah, thank you, Danzou." She bowed her head and hurried to the office, pausing outside the door before knocking. "Um, Ryuu? Can I speak to you for a minute?"
"Come in," Ryuu's voice came from the other side of the door.
She opened the door and slipped inside, closing it tightly behind her. Ryuu was sitting at his desk, still poring over mission reports and seemingly quite focused on it. A few minutes passed before Ryuu looked up.
"Yes, Tsuba?"
"Um, well, I didn't mean to disturb you Ryuu-san, but I just, well, it's, I, well-"
Ryuu leaned forward and cleared his throat, effectively silencing her. "You're using 'san' again. Can you get to the point of it?" he gestured to the stack of papers still on his desk.
"Right," she felt her cheeks darken a little. "I just got my latest mission assignment and well…I um, have a few worries about it."
"The one to Kantoji?" he continued when she nodded. "What's the problem?"
"Well," she shifted her weight for a second. "To be perfectly honest? I'm not sure I'm up to the task."
He raised an eyebrow at this. "Not up to the task?"
Tsuba glanced away, then met his eyes. "Well, I don't think I'm suited for the task. I know kenjutsu, taijutsu, ninjutsu, genjutsu…but…this?"
"Are you ANBU or are you not, Tsuba?"
"I am." She stiffened and nodded. "I'm sorry for my temporary doubts. Sorry to take up your time," she bowed her head and left his office.
--------------------
She thought she was going to die, but at least she was there. Tsuba fidgeted with her kimono one more time before she dared to enter ANBU headquarters. She felt so awkward, even though she knew she appeared to be a pristine traditional woman.
Tsuba could only pray that she didn't run into anyone. She feared any reception she'd get - even that of the women ANBU members. The hallways seemed longer than usual and as soon as Hare turned a corner, Tsuba bit her lip. There went getting to Ryuu's office unscathed.
"What have we here?" he grinned, putting a hand to his chin as he appraised her. "A woman in her true element, eh?"
Tsuba narrowed her eyes and found Hare, Otter, and Dog - including the ninken - blocking her path with broad grins.
"Tsuba-chan, I never knew you could be so cute," Otter laughed, reaching out and poking her cheek.
She tolerated the poke, looking to the side.
"You dressed up just for us?" Dog bared his fangs in a grin, flaring his nostrils and setting his hand on her head. "Come 'ere guys, you gotta get a whiff. Tsuba-chan smells like lavender. Or wait, is it something else?" He breathed in again, his ninken rumbling in agreement.
Tsuba stiffened and snapped at them. "You say one more word about it and I swear I'll-"
"Ooo," Otter grinned and moved to her side, grinning at her. "Got a hot date? Let me guess, it's Danzou!"
She reached for his throat, but only managed to grab his shirt collar. "If I wasn’t dressed like this I'd cut you to shreds, Touji!"
Otter just grinned all the broader.
"Ah, did we ruffle your feathers? Didn't mean to, 'specially when you make such an adorable little bird." Hare leaned in and took a whiff. "You're right, she does smell good."
Tsuba took that moment to lash out, not caring that she was in full kimono with her hair done up and make-up on her face. She pushed Otter towards the wall, shoved off Dog's hand and threw herself at Hare. She pushed him back nearly a foot and would have nicely shoved her fist into his gut - or maybe knee his groin at this point - but Ryuu's voice echoed down the hallway.
"Save the killing for the mission field. Tsuba, in my office."
Hare released Tsuba's wrists and patted her head. "No harm, no foul, oof!" He pulled his hand back and rubbed his stomach.
Tsuba merely shot a glare at the three men - ignoring the ninken for the moment - snatched up her bag, and then followed Ryuu down the hall. She let out a heavy breath.
"Sorry," she muttered.
"Not needed. I expected some kind of reaction."
She looked to the side and followed him into the office, her eyes spotting the gray short coat hanging on the wall. It being in Ryuu's office made her begin to wonder. She closed the door behind her and darted her eyes back to Ryuu. "Since this mission is to impersonate a newlywed couple, can I know who is supposed to be the husband?"
Ryuu settled into his chair. "Me."
Tsuba stared and then let out a choking sound.
"It's a mission, Tsuba. We both fit the profile. You know how to behave properly for the situation, what to say, how to dress, all of that. And I'm an Uchiha, as much as I'd like to forget it."
"O-of course, Ryuu. Forgive me." She lowered her eyes, hoping she wasn't blushing.
He waited a moment, then gestured to a chair to her right. "This shouldn't take much explanation." Ryuu debriefed her for the rest of the mission. He was supposed to be a wealthy son, Takano Ebizou. She was his new bride, Takano Midoriko, formerly of the Nakamura line. She was everything a traditional civilian was supposed to be, though perhaps a bit old fashioned. Ebizou was young, athletic, and spoiled. The rest of the mission was just trivial facts and associates they were supposed to make. An easy enough mission.
Tsuba just hoped she could survive this.
--------------------
They arrived at the hotel late in the evening and Tsuba was glad her character was supposed to be demure. That way she didn't have to put her arm through Ryuu's or flirt or…well, act like a newlywed. She was sure she'd have to be attentive soon enough, but for now, bowing her head behind him and staying quiet worked just fine.
They dropped off their things in the room and Tsuba held back a cringe at the solitary bed. Sure, it was big, but…never mind that.
Ryuu paused after setting down the bags. "How are you doing, Midoriko?"
"Just a little anxious, Ebizou." She smiled softly. "Such intimacies can be stressful things, ne?"
"Ah," he nodded and set a hand on her shoulder. "Just remember your duties."
The usual spark in her eyes returned for a moment. "Always."
"Good," he smiled and led the way out, ordering dinner for both of them.
They ate with very few words exchanged, much to Tsuba's relief. No one approached them until the end of the meal and it happened to be a younger girl asking Tsuba about her kimono.
"Ah, it was my mother's when she was my age," she smiled softly and bowed her head. "I am honored to wear it."
"It's just so pretty," the girl grinned and leaned closer, whispering to Tsuba. "At least your husband is cute!"
Tsuba's eyes widened and then she let herself laugh. "Ah, I was lucky." Don't blush. Don't blush. Or at least not a lot.
No more people spoke to them. Tsuba was quite relieved. The walk back to the room was short and Tsuba stiffened as Ryuu began to undress. She turned away and diverted her eyes, fingering her obi mindlessly as she listened to him change.
"No need to be shy," Ryuu smiled and went over to the bed, sitting on the far side and pointedly keeping his back to her.
Tsuba covered her nervous gasp with a little giggle, cringing inside from the sound. She fidgeted for a moment, then set a hand on the intricate knot on her back. "Actually, I'll…need your help."
Ryuu turned around and gave her a questioning look. Either Tsuba wanted to whisper something to him or she really did need his help. But he couldn't imagine that kimonos could be that complex.
Tsuba looked over at him and smiled weakly, somehow keeping her voice cheery. "Ah, dearest, you forgot that I had help getting into this beautiful robe. I certainly can't get out of it without help." Tsuba was extremely glad this kimono had more than one layer. Once Ryuu got the first one off her she could handle the rest. And she could get this one off if she really worked at it, but it would likely ruin the kimono.
"Right," he got to his feet and scanned over the obi as he approached. "Which one do I pull?"
She felt them for a moment. "I think it's this one," she tapped one of them. "Just be gentle with it, if you can. It really is a delicate kimono."
"Of course, Midoriko." Ryuu smiled and tugged on the indicated piece of obi. The material slid out and before long the entire obi fell to the floor.
Tsuba glanced over her shoulder. "Help me shrug this top layer off and that should be all."
He nodded and grabbed the wide collar just above her collar bone, pulling it back gently as she rotated her shoulders backwards and stepped out of the robe. This left her with something looking more like a yukata than the elegant garment Ryuu now held in his hands.
Once free of it, she turned around and took it from him, nodding and folding it properly. Then she gathered up the obi and folded that as well, setting them in a drawer and setting her hands on her hips. She spotted the small bathroom and nodded to Ryuu, going into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
Ryuu got comfortable on the bed again, closing his eyes and listening to the faint sounds of Tsuba in the bathroom. He peered over at her with one eye cracked open when she emerged dressed in a yukata and now with a plain face and her hair down. She gave a tired smile and sat on the bed, drawing up one leg and sighing.
"Are you tired yet?"
"Not particularly." He rolled onto his side.
"Could…" Tsuba lowered her eyes to the bed. "Could we talk?"
"Of course," he flashed her a grin and sat up. "What's on your mind, dearest?"
She visibly tensed. She knew the room wasn't entirely secure, otherwise she'd have preferred to sleep on the floor or have him down there, or something. But a mission was a mission. Now all she had to do was figure out how to explain her worries in a cryptic method. "I can't help but be anxious, you know me. We are newlyweds after all, I'm still not sure of myself as a wife." She did her best to quell the cringe, but knew Ryuu saw it. He spotted everything. But at least her voice stayed steady. "I know you've told me time and time again, but I always manage to forget them. How am I to treat my dear husband?"
Ryuu narrowed his eyes, but kept his voice more optimistic. "Weren't you raised with this protocol?"
"I never took an interest, don't you remember? But I do wish to please you. If only I could show my adorations through actions and words, oh, I'm a miserable wife."
Ryuu kept his eyes on her. He knew Tsuba would be anxious about the mission - she seemed to get anxious over anything of the social nature - but he had been sure she could do this without a hitch. Well, less of a hitch than the rest of the female ANBU candidates. Hige, certainly not, Chihiro was a bit too close to home, and well…the rest were either too aggressive or too scarred. But if he was reading her right…she was worried about affection towards him in general. "You don't trust yourself, do you?"
"Not in this situation," she met his eyes for a moment. "You know I wasn't a flirt when I was younger."
Ryuu gave her a confused look. He would have to know specifics to know how to alleviate the problem. And she wasn't making the answer very clear, though they didn't have the ability to speak freely.
She let out a sigh and grabbed his hand, writing on his palm with her finger tip. Ryuu nodded, the message was clear now.
He cocked his head. "Should we give it a try then?" It wasn't what he had expected, but it made sense. If the situation arose and she hesitated, things would not bode well.
The blush flared on her cheeks and she simply kept her eyes down, dropping her hands to the bed.
Ryuu waited a moment, then sighed and lay back on the bed. He wasn't going to force Tsuba into it. But he knew she didn't want to mess up the mission, she was far too much of a perfectionist. And she wouldn't have brought it up otherwise. So he'd just have to persuade her to do it. Prod her if he must. "It's a pity. Your uncle was so thrilled about the news, too."
He could see her stiffen and closed his eyes, letting his handful of well placed words work their magic. It didn't take more than thirty second before she shifted her weight. Ryuu kept his eyes closed and resisted any change in expression. It likely would be enough of a challenge for her as it was.
Tsuba fidgeted, leaning over Ryuu and glancing around nervously as he didn't move. She cleared her throat, hoping he would sit up or open his eyes or something. But to no avail. So she cleared her throat again.
She was rewarded with him opening one eye to look at her. "Are you going to or not?"
Her cheeks darkened again and she leaned back, looking to the side. "You're not making it any easier," she grumbled.
Ryuu just shrugged and got comfortable. The fewer actions on his part, the better. Tsuba waited another minute and then shifted her weight back again. She took a deeper breath and leaned over him, her lips eerily close before she felt her heart start to race. She couldn't do it - not like this. But if Kensaki knew she was in ANBU and was about to screw up a mission because of emotions… So she hesitated only a second more before she sat back and grabbed onto his shirt. She jerked him upright as she leaned down, closing her eyes tightly.
And kissed him.
Or tried to, at least. She managed to make contact with only part of his bottom lip. Once she realized her mistake she let go and leaned back, setting a hand over her eyes, bowing her head. Maybe Bikou ducked his head whenever she pulled him closer and that made the difference, she'd always been able to hit his lips when she did it with him.
Ryuu sat there with a slightly crooked smile. Well, she'd tried. And had her aim been just a hair higher she would have succeeded. For a moment, he wondered if that had been her first kiss. But he thought he’d heard rumors of her dating an Inuzuka. Surely she'd kissed at least once before.
"I tried," she said, lowering her hand but still not daring to look at him.
"No one's perfect on the first try."
"That wasn't my first."
"So I've heard," he leaned back a little. "Shall we try again?"
Tsuba nodded and gave herself a moment to recompose herself. As soon as she saw his face a blush spread across her cheeks and she knew this wouldn't go well. Not when she was still so anxious. But she had to try. Perhaps she could get it right.
Maybe.
Ryuu leaned into this kiss a little, letting Tsuba lead. It turned out to be quick, a bare brushing of the lips. She lowered her face again and let out a heavy sigh. It was just a kiss. And she was failing miserably.
He watched her for a moment and shook his head a little, tipping up her chin. "Fine, I'll show you. He'll thank me."
Tsuba could only stiffen before Ryuu pulled her head up and kissed her. It wasn't a rough kiss, but she couldn't say it was very gentle either. She let herself relax into it and Ryuu held it for a moment longer.
"Kisses are supposed to be enjoyed, not tolerated."
"O-of course," Tsuba tensed as she realized how breathy she sounded. Surely Ryuu's kiss wouldn't affect her that much. Surely it wouldn't.
He leaned back and stretched out, signaling that he was going to sleep now. She signed that she understood and went over to the light switch, turning it off and then going back to the bed, keeping her back turned to Ryuu. She stared into the darkness and bit her lip.
She liked Bikou. Bikou. Bikou. Why could she still taste Ryuu?
--------------------
The next few days went smoothly, Tsuba only had to kiss him twice in public. And felt sick to her stomach for the next hour or so. Ryuu did most of the speaking, it was only proper of course, but she played her part well when expected to speak. Tsuba had never thought she'd be capable of playing this role - but at least she didn't have to do anything in private. No, those were the missions Tsuba would have been horrified to be assigned. Though she thought that her father had something to do with her never receiving them - or maybe she wasn't superbly attractive. Either way, she didn't mind being a virgin still.
And when Tsuba and Ryuu stepped into the elegant party, she wanted to die. There were just so many people there. She certainly didn't compare, even with the hair-do she'd stressed over for hours previous to the mission and barley managed to get right. Certainly it didn't look right…even if she'd made them a little late. And apologized profusely for it.
But the target, a certain Yoshitsune Taka, was there and after talking with him, Tsuba let herself half-listen to it, the rest of her hearing going to the other party-goers. Secret documents were to be located and they were running out of time. At least they knew that the documents were within the house now. But what part was still a mystery. And there were too many people to try searching or calling on their skill as ANBU.
Tsuba excused herself to get something to drink - she was going to strangle the man if he kept referring to women as objects - and overheard something interesting as she was looking over the selection.
"…we had the meeting an hour ago. Where were you?"
"I'm sorry, but you know my wife. She had to do a whole list of errands before the party. I did mean to come earlier."
"Well, everything's ready to go. And the documents are signed and sealed in the office."
"Yoshitsune-sama's?"
"Ah, usual spot in the desk."
Tsuba kept her eyes down and smiled at the bartender. She had an idea, but it would take Ryuu's help. And a lot of possible embarrassment. But it was a prime opportunity, and they were almost out of time.
"What is your strongest drink, sir?"
"Our strongest?" he looked to her skeptically. "Surely you just want a little sake, nothing more."
The name of it came to her and she leaned closer. "Shouchuu. Where is it? This party's a bore. I can have some, can't I?"
"Well, if you're sure…" he gestured to the very small glasses to her right. "I wouldn't advise more than one or two, though. Especially with your small frame."
"Ah, I thank you for your wisdom." She grabbed one, then swiped a collection of empty glasses into her wide sleeve. Tsuba downed the Shouchuu and had to keep from gagging. It burned all the way down and she forced herself to keep it down. At least it would slur her words. But hopefully not intoxicate her otherwise. She could hope.
Tsuba let a slight swagger come into her step, forced herself to think of the most embarrassing events - the blush came right on cue - and made her way back over to Ryuu. She let out a silly giggle and caught the men's gazes right away.
"Ebizou!" she walked over and let the glasses spill from her sleeve as she clung to his arm, leaning her weight on him. "Mmm, I ne'er knew Shouchuu could be s'good," Tsuba threw in another giggle and leaned her head on his shoulder, grinning stupidly.
"Well, seems Midoriko-san can't hold her alcohol," Yoshitsune laughed. "She must have sweet talked the bartender quite a bit to get that much. He's usually so good about keeping people mostly sober."
"Ah, well, she's got a way with men," Ryuu laughed and really hoped Tsuba had a reason for this. She certainly wouldn't have lost her head in a mission. Not when they were so close. And not with alcohol. He knew her better than that.
"Mmm, you smell good, Ebizou…" she leaned more on him and then tugged on his shirt collar, pulling him down and into a kiss. She pulled him closer and made sure to make it lingering and verging on passionate. Nevermind how much her stomach was twisting up.
Ryuu stiffened at first, then rationalized that Tsuba had to have something in mind. So he returned it with equal fervor. They certainly looked like newlyweds.
"Well, why don't you two get a room?" Yoshitsune laughed. "Wouldn't want to disturb the rest of the guests, would we?"
"Ah, simply can't keep her satiated," Ryuu smirked.
"Mmm, sounds good," she tugged him closer for another kiss and let Ryuu lead her up the stairs, then into a darkened corridor.
As soon as they were out of sight Tsuba broke the kiss and brushed some loose strands of hair out of her face.
"Well, that was something, Midoriko."
"Anything for my dear husband," she smiled and tried to keep her giddy tone. "We should go to Yoshitsune-sama's office, I hear he's got lovely couches."
Ryuu's eyes flashed for a moment. The documents must be there. "Ah, we shouldn't leave those couches unattended, hm?"
The walk to the office was highly embarrassing as whenever anyone came nearby he started nuzzling her again and she, of course, returned it. But they got to the office and slipped inside without being seen. They broke apart once the door was closed and Tsuba headed straight for the desk.
She signaled that it was contained somewhere in the desk and she began opening drawers and rifling through the papers within.
Ryuu nodded and went to work. It didn't take long. Tsuba stuffed them within her kimono and then glared at the door.
He smirked and set his arm over her shoulders. "Just the exit left, dearest. Surely I'm not that repulsive."
"I'm left to wonder," she took a breath and let him lead her out of the office.
Tsuba had never wanted to die more than she did as Ryuu escorted her out of the party. As if he could be any more amorous…
--------------------
This time, as Tsuba entered ANBU Head Quarters, she was dressed in the kimono still, but Ryuu was dressed up as well. And she had let her hair down an hour ago, having gotten tired of the pins and clips days ago. She saw Hare lounging in the courtyard and kept her eyes firmly away from him. But he certainly didn't miss the sight of her. He made his way over, cooing.
"Our little Tsuba-chan's back again! But why isn't your hair up? And the face, it's so plain…"
"Look," she growled, spinning and holding up a hair pin to his throat. "You say anything else and I will shove this into your jugular, no matter to Ryuu being right here."
"Wow, tetchy, aren't we?" Hare put up his hands and backed up a step. "I was just trying to compliment you."
"Compliments would involve lifting up, not pushing down," she pivoted back again and paused at Ryuu's office door, glancing back at him. "You can make the report, I'm changing."
"Sounds reasonable enough," Ryuu smiled.
She nodded and then changed in what was likely her record time, glad to be back in simple hakama and haori. At least this way she could feel right about attacking Hare. As she came back out, she could hear him in Ryuu's office.
"Oh, c'mon, surely you can tell me what the mission was. Right, Ryuu?"
"It's confidential."
She leaned closer to the door as Hare's voice lowered.
"Did you see her naked?"
Tsuba twitched once. Then twice. Then she waited outside the door with the intent to main him. But it wouldn't work, she knew it. So she'd try intimidation. Maybe.
A flat reply was all Ryuu gave. "I told you it was confidential. Now go."
Hare sighed heavily. "You're no fun, Ryuu."
As soon as the door opened Tsuba stood there, arms crossed and face full of malice. Hare tensed.
"I heard."
"It was all in good fun, Tsuba-chan."
"So is a katana slicing your head clean off you neck."
Hare tried to move to the side, only for Tsuba to block him. "Ah, you're always so morbid."
She continued to glare.
"Tsuba," Ryuu sighed. "Let him go."
With a heated glare, she turned and let Hare go, then softened her expression as she looked over at Ryuu. "Am I allowed any retribution?"
"It's just a game to them. The more you react, the more they do."
She looked annoyed and then shook her head. "It's just the refusing to react that's a problem. See you later," she sighed.
"Tsuba."
She turned to look at him and froze as he blew her a kiss.
"Have a good few days off, dearest."
It was all Tsuba could do not to strangle him. So she just slammed the office door shut and stormed out, her riled countenance enough to keep even Hare out of her path.
Ryuu simply grinned and leaned back in his chair.
And I should really be asleep...*dies*
-beloved