the best parts of this have come and gone..
So......................................................I dont even know where to start.
I dont even know who or what i am anymore
Bobby officially ended it with me last night. WHAT? and for forever i will only be able to say..."I dont understand" because thats all i could say and thats all i could think as i was crying uncontrolably on his bed..because i honestly DO NOT understand.
I guess deep down I know we shouldnt be together but its just coming to terms and trying to understand..where the hell did it alll go? Did i really just spend the last 2 and a half years with this person?
and the weird thing is...i thought we were going to be together again...
"We've both changed...we expect different things from eachother."..
okay and as i can recall 3 days ago you told me you were in love with me.
YEAH, we both DID change. we didnt spend the whole summer together..but dont tell me one day you're in love with me and then the next you tell me that its over..for good..we cant be together..it wont work.
...and thats not going to make me crazy or fuck with my head at all...
but besides for all of the heartache and blah blah blah i have nothing bad to say about him and i hope he will always be in my life and i hope one day after all of the feelings are gone we will be able to be best friends..because he is one of my best friends and one of the only people in this fucking world that gets me.
its like..how am i supposed to go on? how am i supposed to live my life without you in it? and how and i supposed to not pick up the phone and call you? and how am i supposed to go to school and work and hang out with people? when all i feel like doing is laying in bed with you all day? and i cant and i wont ever be able to ever again..
I SUCK.
i honestly want to stand in a middle of a field for a whole day and just scream.
because thats how i feel right now.
heres to another month of laying in my bed..watching cheesy sad girly movies, crying my eyes out, smoking lots of cigarettes and wishing that everything could just go away.
I dont even know who or what i am anymore
Bobby officially ended it with me last night. WHAT? and for forever i will only be able to say..."I dont understand" because thats all i could say and thats all i could think as i was crying uncontrolably on his bed..because i honestly DO NOT understand.
I guess deep down I know we shouldnt be together but its just coming to terms and trying to understand..where the hell did it alll go? Did i really just spend the last 2 and a half years with this person?
and the weird thing is...i thought we were going to be together again...
"We've both changed...we expect different things from eachother."..
okay and as i can recall 3 days ago you told me you were in love with me.
YEAH, we both DID change. we didnt spend the whole summer together..but dont tell me one day you're in love with me and then the next you tell me that its over..for good..we cant be together..it wont work.
...and thats not going to make me crazy or fuck with my head at all...
but besides for all of the heartache and blah blah blah i have nothing bad to say about him and i hope he will always be in my life and i hope one day after all of the feelings are gone we will be able to be best friends..because he is one of my best friends and one of the only people in this fucking world that gets me.
its like..how am i supposed to go on? how am i supposed to live my life without you in it? and how and i supposed to not pick up the phone and call you? and how am i supposed to go to school and work and hang out with people? when all i feel like doing is laying in bed with you all day? and i cant and i wont ever be able to ever again..
I SUCK.
i honestly want to stand in a middle of a field for a whole day and just scream.
because thats how i feel right now.
heres to another month of laying in my bed..watching cheesy sad girly movies, crying my eyes out, smoking lots of cigarettes and wishing that everything could just go away.