The Place where I belong
Titel: The Place where I belong
Pairing and additional characters: Orlando/Sean
Rating: PG-13
Beta: jackieville, galor5
Warnings: MPREG
Disclaimer: I am making no money with this and the characters don't belong to me
A/N: This was written for the orlibean_xmas exchange, for readgreekeasy.
Summary: Two men meet in a coffee shop and their lives take a surprising turn.
Banner made by galor5
For he was great of heart
Michael Cassio got that absolutely right. My love is still great of heart. I have never met anyone before who was as good at heart as he is. Every day I adore him for it, because God knows I could never be like that. I am short tempered and moody. When people have messed with me once, they don't get a second chance. He always believes in the good in people.
Meeting him was the best thing that has ever happened to me and every day I am grateful for it. I hate mornings, but when I wake up next to him I suddenly love them. Each day with him is a gift and I am content in the knowledge that we will make it together through whatever storm we will have to face. We've overcome so many difficulties already and in the end the sunshine came into our lives in form of Gabriel. No matter how cold and grey the world outside may be, even after the most horrible day, when I come home all troubles are forgotten. I can't even imagine how I could have ever lived without them. So much can happen in such a short amount of time. One year previously, I was living in a shabby flat, drinking more alcohol than I should. I had nothing else to do and I was desperate.
Today we live in a small but cozy flat and I am simply happy. The only thing that has remained from the desperate times is my love for coffee. I think I will always love coffee since through coffee we met.
~*~*~
Sean glanced once more at the bulletin board before he continued to count the coins in his hand. When he had finished counting he sighed quietly. At least he could afford the cheapest coffee the shop offered. Money was something that Sean didn't have in great amounts these days, to be exact he had nearly no money left at all, but today he had decided to treat himself to a cup of coffee. It was cold outside, the wind going through and through and chilling right to the bone, and no amount of clothing could keep its cold fingers away from your skin. There was no place Sean had to be and his flat was cold as well because he hadn't been able to pay the heating costs. Sitting in the warm coffee shop called 'Beanery' around the corner seemed to be the best idea at the moment. He had taken a few scripts with him so that he could prepare for the audition in two weeks. He really needed that job or rather the money it would get him. Sean sighed and waited patiently in the line. It seemed to take forever and when Sean was finally the first in line he realized why. The boy behind the counter was obviously a little overstrained. He was moving around hastily and if you looked closely you could see that his hands were trembling. As an actor, Sean knew quite a lot about people. He had studied them for a long while for the simple purpose of adapting the different roles he was required to play.
"Uh…hello. What would you like to have?" The boy asked while desperately trying to finish the drink he was preparing.
"A café latte." Sean mumbled absently-minded, watching as a few droplets of coffee swapped over the edges of the mug, leaving light brown trails on the white ceramic.
"To go?"
Sean looked up again, the hectic movements of the boy making him restless.
"No, I'll drink it here."
For the first time the boy looked up and Sean was stunned when he looked into depths of brown.
"I'll bring it to your table in a few minutes, Sir." The subdued plea in the boy's voice wasn't unnoticed by Sean and he nodded. The boy needed more time and Sean had more than enough of it, so he didn't care if he had to wait or not. The boy gave him a tiny smile and Sean walked over to a free table in a corner. He sighed softly as he sat down and took a few minutes to just enjoy the warmth and the noises around him. When he was about to take out the script from his bag his eyes swept over to the counter again. The line of people was slowly shrinking but the youth was moving around hectically nonetheless. Sean shook his head and smiled to himself before opening the battered book at the page he had marked before. His brows furrowed in concentration as he read line after line, trying to memorize them and get a feeling for the character.
"Here's your latte."
Sean was rapidly pulled out of his thoughts and as he looked up he blinked, all of a sudden aware of his surroundings again. He had been so far away and lost in his own world that he hadn't even heard the noises around him anymore. Sean shook his head to clear his head.
"Thanks -" He glanced at the name tag the boy was wearing. "Orlando." Sean thought that the name fitted the boy perfectly.
"And a muffin for free, because you had to wait so long. I am really sorry." Orlando smiled shyly as he put the mug down on the table as well as a plate with a delicious looking apple-cinnamon muffin on it. Sean, however, only had eyes for the soulful brown eyes, the unruly curls, the high cheekbones, and the lush mouth. All other sounds drowned out once again as his ears were only willing to hear that soft voice.
"It was no problem, really. Is this your first day?" Sean asked, carefully closing the script.
"No, I've actually been working here for a few weeks, but one of my colleagues called in sick this morning and I am alone here until they find someone who is willing to help out today." He wrinkled his nose a little, obviously hoping that that someone would appear soon. Sean gave him a sympathetic smile.
"You should drink your coffee before it gets cold." With another smile, Orlando walked back to the counter and Sean couldn't help but stare after him. His manager always said that actors were utterly dramatic and couldn't even do normal things without a double heaping of drama. At this precise moment Sean realized that this might be truer than he would have liked because the thought that Orlando was the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen wouldn't leave his mind. He leaned back, the script in front of him forgotten, and reached blindly for the mug of coffee. Slowly sipping, his eyes never left the brunette, even the muffin, the only breakfast he would get today, was forgotten.
Just when Sean had finished his coffee, a blonde girl and another brown haired boy come out from the back room of the coffeeshop, both wearing the same work clothes as Orlando. After briefly talking to them, he vanished in the backroom and Sean sighed. Obviously Orlando had his break now and after glancing at the watch on the wall Sean decided that it was time for him to go home. He still had a lot of preparation to do for the audition. If he didn't get this role he was in big trouble. With a last look to the counter Sean left the coffeeshop and slowly walked
home, his thoughts still with Orlando.
~*~*~
Orlando closed his eyes in relief when Jake shut the door of the 'Beanery' and locked it. The day had been more than exhausting and he just wanted to go home and fall into bed. The clattering of plates behind him caught his attention and Orlando turned around just to see Kirsten place various plates on a table, all of them filled with the leftovers from today.
"Happy Birthday!" She beamed at them.
Jake raised an eyebrow.
"Whose birthday is it?" He asked skeptically, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Well, I am sure that someone is celebrating his or her birthday right now so we should celebrate as well." Kirsten replied as if it was the most logical thing in the world. Jake only rolled his eyes while Orlando giggled. During the first week he had already gotten along very well with his colleagues and now they were all close friends. Orlando enjoyed working with them and sat down next to Kirsten with a smile before he looked up at Jake with puppy dog eyes.
"Jakey pleaaaaaaaaase. It is Davis's birthday after all."
Jake's eyebrow rose to new heights.
"So now it is Davis's birthday?" As he got two synchronic nods, he sighed and flopped down in one of the chairs, reaching for a chocolate chip muffin.
"You know what?" Orlando looked at the piece of cheesecake he was eating, suspiciously.
"We've been doing that for the past month whenever we had the late shift. Why am I still not
tired of eating all this?"
"Because they are absolutely delicious." Kirsten helpfully explained before sighing in delight as she ate a cookie.
"That must be it." Orlando mumbled with a smile. They ate in silence, each of them relaxing and calming again after a hectic day.
~*~*~
"He's been here nearly every day for the past week, Orlando. When are you finally going to ask him out?"
Orlando rolled his eyes and ignored Kirsten, holding bottle of cinnamon syrup, he poured a generous amount of it into the Chai latte, then handed the beverage to the girl on the other side of the counter with a smile.
"Thanks." She gave him a brief smile before leaving the coffeeshop. It was a quiet day and only a few tables were occupied. Orlando sighed and began to take glasses out of the dishwasher. He dried them and then handed them to Kirsten who placed them on the shelf.
"You know that ignoring me won't help you." Kirsten pouted.
"Uh-huh." Orlando gave a small nod.
"So? Why don't you ask him out? The two of you have been dancing around each other long enough
now."
"It's not that easy," Orlando mumbled.
"We've just talked a little, nothing more."
Kirsten rolled her eyes, mumbled something about the stupidity of men under her breath.
"You really think that he comes here every bloody day just to 'talk a little'?"
"Yes," Orlando pouted, nearly dropping the glass he was holding.
"You're a hopeless case," Kirsten sighed, working in silence for a few minutes. When an idea came to her mind, her lips curved into a small smile.
~*~*~
Sean pulled his shoulders up a little when another cold gust of wind ran through the streets. He was here fifteen minutes early and the cold did nothing against his nervousness. In the past week he had been at the 'Beanery' nearly everyday, not able to ban Orlando from his mind. The minutes he spent talking with the boy were the most cherished moments of the day.
Yesterday, when one of the other waiters had brought him a small note from Orlando, Sean had a hard time suppressing his grin. He hadn't wanted to rush things or pressure Orlando so he hadn't said anything. When he read Orlando's invitation to dinner he had felt a warmth in the pit of his stomach that he hadn't felt in a very long time.
Now he was waiting in front of a small restaurant in Tottenham Court Road, thinking of all kinds of possible scenarios that could happen. Sean was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't see Orlando approaching.
"Hi."
Sean looked up, a grumpy reply already on his lips for whoever was interrupting his train of thought. When his eyes met brown orbs, all grumpiness instantly left his face.
"Hey."
Orlando smiled but his fingers were restlessly playing with one of his rings, giving away his nervousness.
"Thanks…thanks for the invitation."
Sean raised both eyebrows and his smile faded a little.
"I didn't invite you. You asked me out."
"No I didn't."
They both stared at each other for a few seconds before Orlando's eyes widened.
"Damn. The next time I see Kirsten and Jake I am going to kill them," He mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. He looked up at Sean again and bit his bottom lip. All the happiness he had felt earlier had vanished. Sean hadn't asked him out, they had been set up. Kirsten and Jake were probably having a good laugh right now.
"Look, I'm really sorry. It seems that my friends set us up," Orlando looked away not able to meet Sean's eyes. Sean's features hardened and his hands balled into fists.
"Great," Sean snarled. "Well then," He turned around, about to walk away. This hurt more than he wanted to admit. He had really believed that Orlando wanted to meet him and now it turned out that all had been a stupid joke.
"Wait!"
Sean stopped but didn't turn around, telling the flutter of hope in his stomach to go away.
"I…I…" Orlando was desperately searching for the right words. He took another step forward, coming to stand right behind Sean.
"They only did it because I was too cowardly to ask you myself," Orlando mumbled, his cheeks taking on a deep shade of red. Sean closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths before he slowly turned around.
"Really?"
Orlando was looking at the ground, shuffling nervously.
"Really" He glanced up briefly, afraid how Sean would react. Sean looked at Orlando for a few seconds before he smiled softly.
"Alright then."
Orlando looked up in surprise before his lips split into a grin.
"Great!" He turned around and faced the restaurant, swallowing hard. It looked more than just expensive. Sean followed Orlando's gaze and frowned.
"There's a pub around the corner," He commented.
"Let's go."
~*~*~
The pub was fairly crowded but Orlando and Sean managed to get a table in a corner. So far neither had said another word and the silence was stretching to the point where it was uncomfortable.
"So…what are you doing when you are not spending your time in the coffee shop, talking with nice, young waiters?" Orlando finally smiled, his right hand wrapped around a pint of beer while the left was resting on the table.
"I fear not much," Sean admitted a little sheepishly, taking a sip of his beer.
"At the moment I am preparing for an audition."
"So you are an actor?" Orlando asked, a look of wonder appearing on his face.
Sean nodded, not knowing what Orlando would think about it. Mostly there were only two reactions when he answered the question of what he was doing for a living. The first one was exaggerated adoration because actors were supposedly rich and famous. The second was quite the opposite because actor was not a job with a steady income. Sadly, Sean had the experience that most women really found it most important that their boyfriend could give them all kinds of expensive gifts and if you weren't able to do so they moved on to the next best, richer bloke. Sean looked at the glass in his hands, fearing which of the two reactions he would find in Orlando's face.
"That's cool. I like to go to the theater but sadly I don't really have enough money for it lately," Orlando sighed quietly and brought the glass to his lips.
"What part are you auditioning for?"
"Cassio." Sean replied absently-minded, stunned that Orlando's reaction was so different from what he had expected. Was it real interest he saw in those brown eyes?
"Really?" Orlando's eyes widened a bit and Sean actually thought he saw the boy bouncing a little.
"Othello is one of my favourite plays."
Sean had to give even more credit to the boy for actually knowing the role and the play it belonged to. It was refreshing to meet someone who wasn't completely and utterly clueless and didn't even know who had written Othello.
"It's one of my favourites too, one more reason for me hoping to get the part."
"I'll have my fingers crossed for you. I think you'd be a great Cassio," Orlando smiled, taking Sean's hand without thinking and squeezing gently.
"You'll have to tell me right away once you know you've got the part. I think I'll spend quite a lot of money on theater tickets then."
Sean chuckled and gently squeezed back, marveling at how soft and warm and also how absolutely right Orlando's hand felt in his.
"No you won't because you'll get free tickets, should I really get the part."
Orlando beamed his happiness nearly visible in the air.
"Oh that'll be so great."
"Before you get to happy we should wait to see I get it," Sean sighed.
"Of course you'll get the part," Orlando replied, nearly pouting.
"I have no doubt that you are an absolutely great actor and you are perfect for the part so you are going to get it."
Sean couldn't help but smile brightly. Not even his own mother had ever shown that much belief in him. She had always thought that her son should do a "safe" job, like working in a bank or other boring things along that line.
"Thanks for your trust in me. I hope you are right."
"I am always right." Orlando winked and let go of Sean's hand. Sean found that he missed the contact already, but the smile on Orlando's face seemed to hold promises that completely made up for the feeling of loss.
~*~*~
"Thanks for walking me home." Orlando smiled at Sean, shuffling a little.
"You're welcome." Sean smiled. He had held Orlando's hand all the way and now that the moment to say goodbye was coming closer with rapid speed he held on even tighter.
"Well…I'll see you tomorrow then?" Orlando asked, biting his bottom lip a little nervously, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Sean nodded, lightly squeezing Orlando's hand.
Orlando looked up, his lips now forming a smile. When their eyes met the world seemed to stand still for a few seconds before it started to rotate again with full speed. Sean's mind was racing, screaming for him to say something. Just as he opened his mouth, Orlando leaned forward, his lips brushing against Sean's in a movement light like the flapping of butterfly wings. They remained like that for a few heartbeats. Sean's body had tensed to the point where he thought that his muscles would tear but slowly he relaxed, his eyes drifting shut. He let Orlando's hand go, only to place his hands on the brunette's narrow hips, pulling him a little closer. Leisurely their lips started to move against each other, shyly at first but gaining confidence with every movement. Orlando smiled against Sean's lips thinking that the man tasted just like he had thought he would. Like vanilla coffee with the underlying tanginess of cigarettes, creating a unique, bittersweet taste. They slowly parted again, finding themselves in a dreamlike state. It took a few seconds for the cold night air to clear their minds a little bit and as it did, a shy smile could be found on both their faces.
"I guess what I wanted to say was: Yes, till tomorrow," Sean grinned.
~*~*~
"You look tired," Kirsten sat down next to Orlando and Jake in the breakroom, giving him a worried glance. Orlando took another sip of tea, his head resting in his hand. He felt so tired these days but blamed it on working double shifts now. Sean had gotten the part in Othello but Orlando didn't want his boyfriend to pay for everything. They had been together for four months now and had recently moved in together. Orlando couldn't have been happier; he loved Sean with all his heart and was content in the knowledge that Sean loved him back. Still, he did want to pay his share of the rent and Christmas was coming up as well and he planned to buy something special for Sean.
"I'm fine" Orlando returned, forcing himself to smile. In truth he felt absolutely exhausted and
a little nauseated. He was probably getting the flu.
"Poppycock."
Jake nearly chocked on his coffee and coughed violently.
"Poppycock??"
Kirsten gave him a scornful glance.
"It is the word of the week in my calendar."
"There is a word of the week in your calendar?"
"Yes. And guess what, every week it is a different one," Kirsten huffed before turning her attention back to Orlando.
"Sweetie, when I say 'You look tired' what I really mean is 'You look like shit and as if you are about to faint'. Having that clarified, let me say that you look anything but fine."
"But I am fine," Orlando mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose when he felt a headache approaching.
"Mate, I have to agree with Miss-Word-of-the-Week. You look as if you are going to be sick and you haven't been yourself these past few days. Is everything alright? You didn't have an argument with Sean, did you?"
"No. Everything with Sean and me is fine. Actually, everything is perfect," This time the smile on Orlando's face was an honest one. A few seconds later the smile vanished as Orlando jumped up so rapidly that the chair fell over, and he ran to the bathroom. Jake was about to stand up and follow but when retching sounds came from the bathroom he quickly sat down again.
"Uh…you should go."
"Men," Kirsten rolled her eyes as she stood up and followed Orlando to the bathroom.
Orlando hung over the toilet, retching violently. His stomach hurt and his throat felt raw. He had felt sick for a few days now and hadn't eaten much so only bile came up, filling his mouth with its awful taste.
"I'm not going to say 'I told you so'." Kirsten sighed as she knelt down next to Orlando, rubbing his back soothingly.
~*~*~
Before Orlando's dazed mind could catch up, people were leading him outside and he found himself sitting in a car. He felt so exhausted and allowed his eyes to drift shut. When he forced himself to open them again he was sitting in a sterile room and the voice of Kirsten and some male voice he didn't recognize drifted over to him. His whole body felt sore and he rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sat up.
"Whasup?"
Kirsten was instantly at his side, smiling softly.
"Finally, I thought you'd sleep for forever. Jake and I brought you here and Doctor Urban is going to have a look at you."
"Don't need a doctor," Orlando mumbled sleepily, suppressing a yawn. He just wanted to go home and curl up next to Sean. Tomorrow the world would be alright again. However, Kirsten would hear nothing of that and Orlando found himself being poked and examined for the next twenty minutes.
"You can put on your pullover again." Doctor Urban smiled kindly, while writing a few things done in his notepad. Orlando dressed hastily, looking forward to finally getting out of there.
"Well, Mr. Bloom. I think you will be happy to hear that you are not ill."
Orlando tried very hard not to roll his eyes.
"See, I told Kirsten and Jake that I was fine." He mumbled, slowly getting up.
"In fact you are pregnant."
Orlando looked at the Doctor for a few seconds before he sat down heavily, his vision swimming.
~*~*~
Sean looked up from the script when he heard the key turn in the door lock shortly before the door was opened. He got up and stretched before walking to the antechamber. Orlando was slowly getting out of his coat and shoes, his hands trembling a little bit.
"Hey."
Orlando nearly jumped at the sound of Sean's voice and looked up, eyes widened a bit.
"Uh…hi."
Sean frowned as he took Orlando's hand to pull him closer.
"How are you? You're a bit pale…"
Orlando chewed his bottom lip, not meeting Sean's eyes. The whole way home he had thought about what he could possibly say but right now his head felt empty and all he felt was fear. How would Sean react? Would he even want him anymore? A baby was expensive, how would they manage it anyways? All of it seemed too much and Orlando fought the tears stinging in his eyes.
"I…I…can we sit down?" He asked shakily, voice rough and trembling. Sean nodded and led Orlando back to the living room, the young man was tensing more with every step he took. What was wrong with Orlando? He had never seen his love so upset before. Sean gently helped Orlando to sit down, never letting go of the trembling hand. Orlando was fidgeting nervously, his eyes looking at the floor.
"Well…I…I've been to the doctor today. I…I didn't want to go but…but Kirsten made me."
Sean's eyebrows rose higher with every word, the fist of worry closing around him until he could hardly breathe anymore.
"Everything…everything is fine. I mean, no it is not fine I am…I am," Orlando took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"I'm pregnant" He finally whispered, flinching at his own words as if someone had hit him. Sean simply stared at Orlando, time non-existent for both of them.
"That…that's…wow," Sean finally stammered, nervously running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah…yeah it is," Orlando nodded, shifting restlessly. Sean took a deep breath to calm himself, before he gently pulled Orlando into his arms and kissed his forehead. Orlando cuddled into Sean, relaxing a little bit. Sean hadn't screamed and run off, so things weren't that bad. They sat in silence for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts.
Orlando was pulled from his thoughts when Sean shifted and cleared his throat.
"So…so do you want to…I mean…"
Orlando bit his bottom lip, his fingers nervously playing with one of the buttons on Sean's shirt.
"I don't know," He whispered. "Do you?"
"I…well this…this is your decision and no matter what, I'll support you," Sean knew that if he told Orlando that he'd be more than happy if they decided to have this baby Orlando would feel obligated to agree. Orlando nodded, chewing his bottom lip nervously. He was completely lost with no idea what to do.
"You must be tired," Sean gently caressed Orlando's curls. "Let's go to bed. You don't have to decide right away."
At Sean's words Orlando realized just how tired he really was and instantly yawned.
"Bed sounds good," He mumbled wrapping his arms around Sean's neck as the man lifted him into his arms.
"Yes and tomorrow you'll sleep in and have a nice, relaxed day."
"Can't. Need to go to work."
Sean sighed in exaggeration.
"No you don't. You need your rest."
"But-"
"No but," Sean gently set Orlando down on the bed and undressed his love.
"They'll manage a day without you, I am sure," Sean gently pulled the blanket over Orlando.
"If you want, I can call Sam in the morning and ask her to come over and keep you company," He added in an afterthought, thinking that talking with his sister might help Orlando.
"That'd be great," Orlando replied sleepily, eyes already closed. Sean undressed before joining his love, holding him tightly. He knew that he wouldn't find much peace or sleep tonight.
~*~*~
Orlando got up sleepily from the couch when the doorbell rang. He had spent his morning in front of the TV, curled up on the couch with a blanket, and had let his thoughts stray. He hadn't come to a conclusion though. In fact, he was even more confused and scared than before.
As soon as Orlando had opened the door small arms wrapped around his right leg, accompanied by a squeal.
"Orrie!"
"Hello Mona," Orlando smiled lovingly, ruffling through the girls brown curls before he looked up at his sister.
"Hey Sammy."
Samantha smiled lovingly as she embraced her brother. After a few seconds she pulled back, a worried look on her face.
"How are you, sweetie?"
Orlando shrugged a little helplessly while giving into Mona's demand to be picked up.
"Confused and scared," Orlando admitted although he smiled as Mona wrapped her little arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
"I'll make us some tea and then we'll talk."
"Thanks, Sammy."
~*~*~
Samantha smiled as she came back from the kitchen with a tray and found Orlando and Mona sitting on the couch, the little girl chatting animatedly about the cat she had seen the other day.
"Mona, why don't you draw a nice picture while Orrie and mummy have a chat?"
Mona nodded happily and took out her color pencils from her small Winnie the Pooh backpack.
Samantha smiled fondly at her as she sat down next to her brother and poured them tea.
"Thanks," Orlando took the warm mug gratefully, wrapping his fingers around it and enjoying the warmth radiating off it.
"So what did Sean say when you told him?"
Orlando took a careful sip, looking at the table as if deep in thought.
"He…he was surprised. Very surprised. And…he said that he would support me whatever I decide,"
He finally mumbled. Samantha nodded, slowly sipping her tea.
"Have you come to a decision yet?"
Orlando shook his head, his face clearly showing how miserable he felt about it.
"I've been thinking about it all morning," He whispered. "I…I don't think I could live with…getting rid off it. I mean this…this must have happened for a reason, right? But then I think about…all the problems it will bring. A baby will cost money, money that I don't have and Sean doesn't have a stable income either. This flat is so small we couldn't even give the baby a nursery. Besides I…I don't want to mess up. I'm not sure if I can do this…" Orlando rubbed his eyes, trying hard to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
"Oh Orlando," Samantha gently wrapped her arms around her little brother and kissed his forehead.
"It must be so horribly confusing for you but we'll get this sorted out, I promise."
Orlando gave a small nod and buried his face in her neck, sobbing softly. Samantha gently rubbed his back.
"Shhhh that's alright sweetie. Just let it all out."
Forcing himself to calm down in order not to scare Mona, Orlando pulled back again, giving his sister a shaky smile.
"Thanks."
"I haven't done anything yet," Samantha answered, pushing a strand of brown hair back behind Orlando's ear.
"So you want the baby? Don't let money be a factor in your decision, because we will find a solution for that, don't you worry."
Orlando gave a small nod and wiped the last traces of tears from his face. He was silent for a minute before he looked up at Samantha again, lips trembling lightly.
"I think I want the baby," He whispered.
"You think?" Samantha gently asked, not wanting to push Orlando too much but also wanting to make sure that he made the right decision.
"Yes. I mean…there…what if…if I am…if I do everything wrong? I don't want the baby to…to have a bad life because I mess up."
"Everyone is scared, Orlando. Hell, I was completely freaked out when I found out that I am pregnant. But believe me; you'll grow into your role as a father. Just look how great you are with Mona."
"That's different," Orlando mumbled, causing Samantha to roll her eyes.
"It is not. We'll just take this one step at a time. You want the baby and with that the most important of all decisions is made."
Orlando nervously sipped his tea. He was far from accepting the fact that they would have a baby, it just felt so unreal.
"What about the money? We can't afford it, Sammy."
"I told you, money won't be a reason not to have the baby. Of course you'll have to make sacrifices but it'll work out. I have tons of stuff at home that Mona doesn't need anymore, you can have all of them. There are financial aids that you will get and for the first time the baby will sleep in your bedroom. Sean and you will have to cut back on the wild sex until you can move to a bigger flat though," Samantha giggled as Orlando's cheeks became a deep red color.
"See? Everything solved."
Orlando smiled and hugged her.
"I wouldn't know what to do without you, Sammy. Thank you so much."
~*~*~
Orlando hummed softly to himself as he folded the little piece of clothing and carefully put it away in the drawer. Samantha had brought over a box full of baby clothing and Orlando took great joy in looking at it and putting in the drawer, making everything ready for their little one. Six months had passed and slowly he had grown used to the thought of having a baby. A baby boy as the doctor had told them. Orlando's smile widened as his hand caressed the soft clothing. He had been working until a month ago, but the standing and running around had become too much. It was hard on them not to have that extra money monthly but Sean was making good money at the theater and Ian McKellen, the owner and director, had already promised him a role in the next play. All in all things couldn't have been better, had there not been the doubts that still came to Orlando's mind every now and then. He was really looking forward to the child, to have a real family with Sean, but he was also scared. After all, their life would change completely. Orlando's eyes lingered on the yellow romper he had just taken out of the box. It was so small and the thought that a human being would be small enough to fit into it was nearly absurd. Still, it would. Their baby boy would wear it and that knowledge was enough to warm Orlando's heart and showed him that all the fears and sacrifices were worth it.
"Hey. How are my loves doing today?" Sean smiled as he entered the room and sat down behind
Orlando, wrapping his arms around his boy and rested his hands on the now present bump. Orlando smiled and turned his head, kissing Sean softly.
"We're fine. A little tired, though. How are you?" He smiled, cuddling into his love.
"Great," Sean beamed, placing a kiss on Orlando's neck.
"I got the part of MacBeth in Ian's next play. The pay is more than you and I earned together in the past months."
Orlando turned around in Sean's arms as best as he could, eyes wide.
"Really? Oh Seanie, that's awesome," He leaned forward, his lips touching Sean's softly. At least they wouldn't have to worry so much about money anymore. Orlando giggled lightly when the baby started to squirm as well.
"I think little one is very happy about that as well."
~*~*~
Sean looked into the mirror, trying to relax. The past two months had been stressful and he felt like he hadn't been relaxed in ages. Coordinating the rehearsals and a moody, pregnant boyfriend wasn't an easy task, not to mention getting everything ready for Gabriel at home.
It had taken them nearly a month, two name books, and many arguments until they had finally agreed on the name. Sean would have agreed to most of Orlando's choices (except for the really weird ones like Boaz, Ira, Ezra, Nehemia, or Boromir) but every day Sean came home from work he could be sure that Orlando had already changed plans again and found five new names he loved. After over three weeks of this Sean had finally had enough and had opened one of the name books, choosing a name randomly by placing his finger one of them without looking. Of course they would have to make up a more sensational story, should Gabriel ever ask how they had chosen his name. Sean still couldn't believe that in two, probably only one week, he would already be able to hold Gabriel.
A soft smile crossed Sean's face but he was soon pulled out of his thoughts by the shrill sound of the bell, signaling that the play would begin in less than five minutes. It was the premiere of MacBeth and Sean couldn't deny that he was at least a tad nervous. Probably he would have been more nervous hadn't his life been so stressful already this past few weeks. Besides, the knowledge that Orlando was sitting in the audience calmed him. He only hoped Orlando hadn't brought crackers or chips or something like that. In the past few weeks Orlando had seemingly been constantly hungry and everyone who dared to do as much as look at him from the side got a nasty "I am pregnant I am allowed to do whatever I want." look which was often followed by tears and exclamations that people didn't understand how he felt and were simply mean to him. Sean shook his head and chuckled. Despite all of this he was more in love with Orlando than ever before. A small smile could still be found on Sean's face as he entered the stage.
~*~*~
Sean stretched, feeling as if he had just run a marathon. The premiere had been a success. He was relieved and happy, but right now he wanted to find Orlando, go home, and crawl into bed. He hadn't seen his boyfriend in the audience but then again the lights on the stage were bright and you could barely make out more than silhouettes. After getting rid off the make up he hastily changed into his clothes, a knock on the door interrupting him.
"Come in," Sean mumbled while pulling his jumper over his head. He frowned when instead of Orlando only Jake entered the room.
"Uh…hi." The nervous tremor in the boy's voice wasn't a good sign. Sean started to stuff all his belongings back into his back, his eyes never leaving Jake.
"Where is Orlando?"
"By now hopefully at the hospital."
"WHAT?!" All packing was forgotten as Sean stared at Jake, wanting to glare, but he was too worried.
"Don't get upset," Jake tried to sound calm, taking a step back.
"During the play he got contractions, but he didn't want to ruin the evening for you. He asked me to stay and tell you afterwards. Kirsten and Sam have taken him to the hospital," Jake was absolutely sure that he heard a growling sound coming from Sean's direction as the man took his backpack and stomped out of the room, mumbling about stupid boyfriends and even stupider bastards who called themselves friends.
Later, Sean wouldn't remember how he had made it to the hospital. Everything up to the moment he was finally with Orlando had become a blur (although probably only the pain of Orlando squeezing his fingers so hard that they were bruised for days had made him coherent again).
"Ow! Bloody hell, you're breaking my fingers!"
"I'm breaking your fingers?! Well I am sorry; I am just in a little bit of pain RIGHT NOW!"
The doctor exchanged a knowing smirk with one of the nurses as Sean whimpered again. Orlando had obviously tightened his grip even more.
Half an hour later the cry of a baby broke the tension that had settled over the room. Orlando sank back, completely exhausted, while Sean felt absolutely torn between looking after Orlando and trying to catch a glimpse of their boy. The nurse ended his dilemma when she gently handed Gabriel to Orlando. He was already safely wrapped in a warm piece of clothing, his eyes half open, taking in their surroundings. The exhaustion left Orlando's face and a brilliant smile took its place as he carefully held their boy. Sean brusquely rubbed his eyes, overwhelmed by the scene before him. Gabriel was so tiny, so helpless. He needed their protection and Sean was determined to protect their little boy from everyone and everything.
A little hesitantly, Sean sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully wrapping his arm around Orlando's shoulder while watching Gabriel. People always said that their child was the most beautiful one but as Sean took in the perfect little fingers, and the perfect little face he was absolutely sure that their child was the most beautiful one on earth. After all he also had the most beautiful boyfriend. Sean gently caressed Gabriel's cheek with one finger and as the baby opened his eyes a little more, looking at him curiously, he felt a sensation he had never felt before in the pit of his stomach.
"He's so perfect," He whispered softly not able to take his eyes off of the little wonder in Orlando's arms. Orlando smiled brightly, holding Gabriel just a little bit tighter.
"Yes he is."
~*~*~
Since then I have felt so blessed and grateful every single day. I have not only found the love of my life but we also have a wonderful boy. We are a real family. That's more than I could have ever asked for.
The delicious smell of coffee fills the room and Orlando hands me a mug. I kiss him softly before taking a sip, feeling completely content.
FIN
Pairing and additional characters: Orlando/Sean
Rating: PG-13
Beta: jackieville, galor5
Warnings: MPREG
Disclaimer: I am making no money with this and the characters don't belong to me
A/N: This was written for the orlibean_xmas exchange, for readgreekeasy.
Summary: Two men meet in a coffee shop and their lives take a surprising turn.
Banner made by galor5
For he was great of heart
Michael Cassio got that absolutely right. My love is still great of heart. I have never met anyone before who was as good at heart as he is. Every day I adore him for it, because God knows I could never be like that. I am short tempered and moody. When people have messed with me once, they don't get a second chance. He always believes in the good in people.
Meeting him was the best thing that has ever happened to me and every day I am grateful for it. I hate mornings, but when I wake up next to him I suddenly love them. Each day with him is a gift and I am content in the knowledge that we will make it together through whatever storm we will have to face. We've overcome so many difficulties already and in the end the sunshine came into our lives in form of Gabriel. No matter how cold and grey the world outside may be, even after the most horrible day, when I come home all troubles are forgotten. I can't even imagine how I could have ever lived without them. So much can happen in such a short amount of time. One year previously, I was living in a shabby flat, drinking more alcohol than I should. I had nothing else to do and I was desperate.
Today we live in a small but cozy flat and I am simply happy. The only thing that has remained from the desperate times is my love for coffee. I think I will always love coffee since through coffee we met.
~*~*~
Sean glanced once more at the bulletin board before he continued to count the coins in his hand. When he had finished counting he sighed quietly. At least he could afford the cheapest coffee the shop offered. Money was something that Sean didn't have in great amounts these days, to be exact he had nearly no money left at all, but today he had decided to treat himself to a cup of coffee. It was cold outside, the wind going through and through and chilling right to the bone, and no amount of clothing could keep its cold fingers away from your skin. There was no place Sean had to be and his flat was cold as well because he hadn't been able to pay the heating costs. Sitting in the warm coffee shop called 'Beanery' around the corner seemed to be the best idea at the moment. He had taken a few scripts with him so that he could prepare for the audition in two weeks. He really needed that job or rather the money it would get him. Sean sighed and waited patiently in the line. It seemed to take forever and when Sean was finally the first in line he realized why. The boy behind the counter was obviously a little overstrained. He was moving around hastily and if you looked closely you could see that his hands were trembling. As an actor, Sean knew quite a lot about people. He had studied them for a long while for the simple purpose of adapting the different roles he was required to play.
"Uh…hello. What would you like to have?" The boy asked while desperately trying to finish the drink he was preparing.
"A café latte." Sean mumbled absently-minded, watching as a few droplets of coffee swapped over the edges of the mug, leaving light brown trails on the white ceramic.
"To go?"
Sean looked up again, the hectic movements of the boy making him restless.
"No, I'll drink it here."
For the first time the boy looked up and Sean was stunned when he looked into depths of brown.
"I'll bring it to your table in a few minutes, Sir." The subdued plea in the boy's voice wasn't unnoticed by Sean and he nodded. The boy needed more time and Sean had more than enough of it, so he didn't care if he had to wait or not. The boy gave him a tiny smile and Sean walked over to a free table in a corner. He sighed softly as he sat down and took a few minutes to just enjoy the warmth and the noises around him. When he was about to take out the script from his bag his eyes swept over to the counter again. The line of people was slowly shrinking but the youth was moving around hectically nonetheless. Sean shook his head and smiled to himself before opening the battered book at the page he had marked before. His brows furrowed in concentration as he read line after line, trying to memorize them and get a feeling for the character.
"Here's your latte."
Sean was rapidly pulled out of his thoughts and as he looked up he blinked, all of a sudden aware of his surroundings again. He had been so far away and lost in his own world that he hadn't even heard the noises around him anymore. Sean shook his head to clear his head.
"Thanks -" He glanced at the name tag the boy was wearing. "Orlando." Sean thought that the name fitted the boy perfectly.
"And a muffin for free, because you had to wait so long. I am really sorry." Orlando smiled shyly as he put the mug down on the table as well as a plate with a delicious looking apple-cinnamon muffin on it. Sean, however, only had eyes for the soulful brown eyes, the unruly curls, the high cheekbones, and the lush mouth. All other sounds drowned out once again as his ears were only willing to hear that soft voice.
"It was no problem, really. Is this your first day?" Sean asked, carefully closing the script.
"No, I've actually been working here for a few weeks, but one of my colleagues called in sick this morning and I am alone here until they find someone who is willing to help out today." He wrinkled his nose a little, obviously hoping that that someone would appear soon. Sean gave him a sympathetic smile.
"You should drink your coffee before it gets cold." With another smile, Orlando walked back to the counter and Sean couldn't help but stare after him. His manager always said that actors were utterly dramatic and couldn't even do normal things without a double heaping of drama. At this precise moment Sean realized that this might be truer than he would have liked because the thought that Orlando was the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen wouldn't leave his mind. He leaned back, the script in front of him forgotten, and reached blindly for the mug of coffee. Slowly sipping, his eyes never left the brunette, even the muffin, the only breakfast he would get today, was forgotten.
Just when Sean had finished his coffee, a blonde girl and another brown haired boy come out from the back room of the coffeeshop, both wearing the same work clothes as Orlando. After briefly talking to them, he vanished in the backroom and Sean sighed. Obviously Orlando had his break now and after glancing at the watch on the wall Sean decided that it was time for him to go home. He still had a lot of preparation to do for the audition. If he didn't get this role he was in big trouble. With a last look to the counter Sean left the coffeeshop and slowly walked
home, his thoughts still with Orlando.
~*~*~
Orlando closed his eyes in relief when Jake shut the door of the 'Beanery' and locked it. The day had been more than exhausting and he just wanted to go home and fall into bed. The clattering of plates behind him caught his attention and Orlando turned around just to see Kirsten place various plates on a table, all of them filled with the leftovers from today.
"Happy Birthday!" She beamed at them.
Jake raised an eyebrow.
"Whose birthday is it?" He asked skeptically, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Well, I am sure that someone is celebrating his or her birthday right now so we should celebrate as well." Kirsten replied as if it was the most logical thing in the world. Jake only rolled his eyes while Orlando giggled. During the first week he had already gotten along very well with his colleagues and now they were all close friends. Orlando enjoyed working with them and sat down next to Kirsten with a smile before he looked up at Jake with puppy dog eyes.
"Jakey pleaaaaaaaaase. It is Davis's birthday after all."
Jake's eyebrow rose to new heights.
"So now it is Davis's birthday?" As he got two synchronic nods, he sighed and flopped down in one of the chairs, reaching for a chocolate chip muffin.
"You know what?" Orlando looked at the piece of cheesecake he was eating, suspiciously.
"We've been doing that for the past month whenever we had the late shift. Why am I still not
tired of eating all this?"
"Because they are absolutely delicious." Kirsten helpfully explained before sighing in delight as she ate a cookie.
"That must be it." Orlando mumbled with a smile. They ate in silence, each of them relaxing and calming again after a hectic day.
~*~*~
"He's been here nearly every day for the past week, Orlando. When are you finally going to ask him out?"
Orlando rolled his eyes and ignored Kirsten, holding bottle of cinnamon syrup, he poured a generous amount of it into the Chai latte, then handed the beverage to the girl on the other side of the counter with a smile.
"Thanks." She gave him a brief smile before leaving the coffeeshop. It was a quiet day and only a few tables were occupied. Orlando sighed and began to take glasses out of the dishwasher. He dried them and then handed them to Kirsten who placed them on the shelf.
"You know that ignoring me won't help you." Kirsten pouted.
"Uh-huh." Orlando gave a small nod.
"So? Why don't you ask him out? The two of you have been dancing around each other long enough
now."
"It's not that easy," Orlando mumbled.
"We've just talked a little, nothing more."
Kirsten rolled her eyes, mumbled something about the stupidity of men under her breath.
"You really think that he comes here every bloody day just to 'talk a little'?"
"Yes," Orlando pouted, nearly dropping the glass he was holding.
"You're a hopeless case," Kirsten sighed, working in silence for a few minutes. When an idea came to her mind, her lips curved into a small smile.
~*~*~
Sean pulled his shoulders up a little when another cold gust of wind ran through the streets. He was here fifteen minutes early and the cold did nothing against his nervousness. In the past week he had been at the 'Beanery' nearly everyday, not able to ban Orlando from his mind. The minutes he spent talking with the boy were the most cherished moments of the day.
Yesterday, when one of the other waiters had brought him a small note from Orlando, Sean had a hard time suppressing his grin. He hadn't wanted to rush things or pressure Orlando so he hadn't said anything. When he read Orlando's invitation to dinner he had felt a warmth in the pit of his stomach that he hadn't felt in a very long time.
Now he was waiting in front of a small restaurant in Tottenham Court Road, thinking of all kinds of possible scenarios that could happen. Sean was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't see Orlando approaching.
"Hi."
Sean looked up, a grumpy reply already on his lips for whoever was interrupting his train of thought. When his eyes met brown orbs, all grumpiness instantly left his face.
"Hey."
Orlando smiled but his fingers were restlessly playing with one of his rings, giving away his nervousness.
"Thanks…thanks for the invitation."
Sean raised both eyebrows and his smile faded a little.
"I didn't invite you. You asked me out."
"No I didn't."
They both stared at each other for a few seconds before Orlando's eyes widened.
"Damn. The next time I see Kirsten and Jake I am going to kill them," He mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. He looked up at Sean again and bit his bottom lip. All the happiness he had felt earlier had vanished. Sean hadn't asked him out, they had been set up. Kirsten and Jake were probably having a good laugh right now.
"Look, I'm really sorry. It seems that my friends set us up," Orlando looked away not able to meet Sean's eyes. Sean's features hardened and his hands balled into fists.
"Great," Sean snarled. "Well then," He turned around, about to walk away. This hurt more than he wanted to admit. He had really believed that Orlando wanted to meet him and now it turned out that all had been a stupid joke.
"Wait!"
Sean stopped but didn't turn around, telling the flutter of hope in his stomach to go away.
"I…I…" Orlando was desperately searching for the right words. He took another step forward, coming to stand right behind Sean.
"They only did it because I was too cowardly to ask you myself," Orlando mumbled, his cheeks taking on a deep shade of red. Sean closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths before he slowly turned around.
"Really?"
Orlando was looking at the ground, shuffling nervously.
"Really" He glanced up briefly, afraid how Sean would react. Sean looked at Orlando for a few seconds before he smiled softly.
"Alright then."
Orlando looked up in surprise before his lips split into a grin.
"Great!" He turned around and faced the restaurant, swallowing hard. It looked more than just expensive. Sean followed Orlando's gaze and frowned.
"There's a pub around the corner," He commented.
"Let's go."
~*~*~
The pub was fairly crowded but Orlando and Sean managed to get a table in a corner. So far neither had said another word and the silence was stretching to the point where it was uncomfortable.
"So…what are you doing when you are not spending your time in the coffee shop, talking with nice, young waiters?" Orlando finally smiled, his right hand wrapped around a pint of beer while the left was resting on the table.
"I fear not much," Sean admitted a little sheepishly, taking a sip of his beer.
"At the moment I am preparing for an audition."
"So you are an actor?" Orlando asked, a look of wonder appearing on his face.
Sean nodded, not knowing what Orlando would think about it. Mostly there were only two reactions when he answered the question of what he was doing for a living. The first one was exaggerated adoration because actors were supposedly rich and famous. The second was quite the opposite because actor was not a job with a steady income. Sadly, Sean had the experience that most women really found it most important that their boyfriend could give them all kinds of expensive gifts and if you weren't able to do so they moved on to the next best, richer bloke. Sean looked at the glass in his hands, fearing which of the two reactions he would find in Orlando's face.
"That's cool. I like to go to the theater but sadly I don't really have enough money for it lately," Orlando sighed quietly and brought the glass to his lips.
"What part are you auditioning for?"
"Cassio." Sean replied absently-minded, stunned that Orlando's reaction was so different from what he had expected. Was it real interest he saw in those brown eyes?
"Really?" Orlando's eyes widened a bit and Sean actually thought he saw the boy bouncing a little.
"Othello is one of my favourite plays."
Sean had to give even more credit to the boy for actually knowing the role and the play it belonged to. It was refreshing to meet someone who wasn't completely and utterly clueless and didn't even know who had written Othello.
"It's one of my favourites too, one more reason for me hoping to get the part."
"I'll have my fingers crossed for you. I think you'd be a great Cassio," Orlando smiled, taking Sean's hand without thinking and squeezing gently.
"You'll have to tell me right away once you know you've got the part. I think I'll spend quite a lot of money on theater tickets then."
Sean chuckled and gently squeezed back, marveling at how soft and warm and also how absolutely right Orlando's hand felt in his.
"No you won't because you'll get free tickets, should I really get the part."
Orlando beamed his happiness nearly visible in the air.
"Oh that'll be so great."
"Before you get to happy we should wait to see I get it," Sean sighed.
"Of course you'll get the part," Orlando replied, nearly pouting.
"I have no doubt that you are an absolutely great actor and you are perfect for the part so you are going to get it."
Sean couldn't help but smile brightly. Not even his own mother had ever shown that much belief in him. She had always thought that her son should do a "safe" job, like working in a bank or other boring things along that line.
"Thanks for your trust in me. I hope you are right."
"I am always right." Orlando winked and let go of Sean's hand. Sean found that he missed the contact already, but the smile on Orlando's face seemed to hold promises that completely made up for the feeling of loss.
~*~*~
"Thanks for walking me home." Orlando smiled at Sean, shuffling a little.
"You're welcome." Sean smiled. He had held Orlando's hand all the way and now that the moment to say goodbye was coming closer with rapid speed he held on even tighter.
"Well…I'll see you tomorrow then?" Orlando asked, biting his bottom lip a little nervously, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Sean nodded, lightly squeezing Orlando's hand.
Orlando looked up, his lips now forming a smile. When their eyes met the world seemed to stand still for a few seconds before it started to rotate again with full speed. Sean's mind was racing, screaming for him to say something. Just as he opened his mouth, Orlando leaned forward, his lips brushing against Sean's in a movement light like the flapping of butterfly wings. They remained like that for a few heartbeats. Sean's body had tensed to the point where he thought that his muscles would tear but slowly he relaxed, his eyes drifting shut. He let Orlando's hand go, only to place his hands on the brunette's narrow hips, pulling him a little closer. Leisurely their lips started to move against each other, shyly at first but gaining confidence with every movement. Orlando smiled against Sean's lips thinking that the man tasted just like he had thought he would. Like vanilla coffee with the underlying tanginess of cigarettes, creating a unique, bittersweet taste. They slowly parted again, finding themselves in a dreamlike state. It took a few seconds for the cold night air to clear their minds a little bit and as it did, a shy smile could be found on both their faces.
"I guess what I wanted to say was: Yes, till tomorrow," Sean grinned.
~*~*~
"You look tired," Kirsten sat down next to Orlando and Jake in the breakroom, giving him a worried glance. Orlando took another sip of tea, his head resting in his hand. He felt so tired these days but blamed it on working double shifts now. Sean had gotten the part in Othello but Orlando didn't want his boyfriend to pay for everything. They had been together for four months now and had recently moved in together. Orlando couldn't have been happier; he loved Sean with all his heart and was content in the knowledge that Sean loved him back. Still, he did want to pay his share of the rent and Christmas was coming up as well and he planned to buy something special for Sean.
"I'm fine" Orlando returned, forcing himself to smile. In truth he felt absolutely exhausted and
a little nauseated. He was probably getting the flu.
"Poppycock."
Jake nearly chocked on his coffee and coughed violently.
"Poppycock??"
Kirsten gave him a scornful glance.
"It is the word of the week in my calendar."
"There is a word of the week in your calendar?"
"Yes. And guess what, every week it is a different one," Kirsten huffed before turning her attention back to Orlando.
"Sweetie, when I say 'You look tired' what I really mean is 'You look like shit and as if you are about to faint'. Having that clarified, let me say that you look anything but fine."
"But I am fine," Orlando mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose when he felt a headache approaching.
"Mate, I have to agree with Miss-Word-of-the-Week. You look as if you are going to be sick and you haven't been yourself these past few days. Is everything alright? You didn't have an argument with Sean, did you?"
"No. Everything with Sean and me is fine. Actually, everything is perfect," This time the smile on Orlando's face was an honest one. A few seconds later the smile vanished as Orlando jumped up so rapidly that the chair fell over, and he ran to the bathroom. Jake was about to stand up and follow but when retching sounds came from the bathroom he quickly sat down again.
"Uh…you should go."
"Men," Kirsten rolled her eyes as she stood up and followed Orlando to the bathroom.
Orlando hung over the toilet, retching violently. His stomach hurt and his throat felt raw. He had felt sick for a few days now and hadn't eaten much so only bile came up, filling his mouth with its awful taste.
"I'm not going to say 'I told you so'." Kirsten sighed as she knelt down next to Orlando, rubbing his back soothingly.
~*~*~
Before Orlando's dazed mind could catch up, people were leading him outside and he found himself sitting in a car. He felt so exhausted and allowed his eyes to drift shut. When he forced himself to open them again he was sitting in a sterile room and the voice of Kirsten and some male voice he didn't recognize drifted over to him. His whole body felt sore and he rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sat up.
"Whasup?"
Kirsten was instantly at his side, smiling softly.
"Finally, I thought you'd sleep for forever. Jake and I brought you here and Doctor Urban is going to have a look at you."
"Don't need a doctor," Orlando mumbled sleepily, suppressing a yawn. He just wanted to go home and curl up next to Sean. Tomorrow the world would be alright again. However, Kirsten would hear nothing of that and Orlando found himself being poked and examined for the next twenty minutes.
"You can put on your pullover again." Doctor Urban smiled kindly, while writing a few things done in his notepad. Orlando dressed hastily, looking forward to finally getting out of there.
"Well, Mr. Bloom. I think you will be happy to hear that you are not ill."
Orlando tried very hard not to roll his eyes.
"See, I told Kirsten and Jake that I was fine." He mumbled, slowly getting up.
"In fact you are pregnant."
Orlando looked at the Doctor for a few seconds before he sat down heavily, his vision swimming.
~*~*~
Sean looked up from the script when he heard the key turn in the door lock shortly before the door was opened. He got up and stretched before walking to the antechamber. Orlando was slowly getting out of his coat and shoes, his hands trembling a little bit.
"Hey."
Orlando nearly jumped at the sound of Sean's voice and looked up, eyes widened a bit.
"Uh…hi."
Sean frowned as he took Orlando's hand to pull him closer.
"How are you? You're a bit pale…"
Orlando chewed his bottom lip, not meeting Sean's eyes. The whole way home he had thought about what he could possibly say but right now his head felt empty and all he felt was fear. How would Sean react? Would he even want him anymore? A baby was expensive, how would they manage it anyways? All of it seemed too much and Orlando fought the tears stinging in his eyes.
"I…I…can we sit down?" He asked shakily, voice rough and trembling. Sean nodded and led Orlando back to the living room, the young man was tensing more with every step he took. What was wrong with Orlando? He had never seen his love so upset before. Sean gently helped Orlando to sit down, never letting go of the trembling hand. Orlando was fidgeting nervously, his eyes looking at the floor.
"Well…I…I've been to the doctor today. I…I didn't want to go but…but Kirsten made me."
Sean's eyebrows rose higher with every word, the fist of worry closing around him until he could hardly breathe anymore.
"Everything…everything is fine. I mean, no it is not fine I am…I am," Orlando took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"I'm pregnant" He finally whispered, flinching at his own words as if someone had hit him. Sean simply stared at Orlando, time non-existent for both of them.
"That…that's…wow," Sean finally stammered, nervously running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah…yeah it is," Orlando nodded, shifting restlessly. Sean took a deep breath to calm himself, before he gently pulled Orlando into his arms and kissed his forehead. Orlando cuddled into Sean, relaxing a little bit. Sean hadn't screamed and run off, so things weren't that bad. They sat in silence for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts.
Orlando was pulled from his thoughts when Sean shifted and cleared his throat.
"So…so do you want to…I mean…"
Orlando bit his bottom lip, his fingers nervously playing with one of the buttons on Sean's shirt.
"I don't know," He whispered. "Do you?"
"I…well this…this is your decision and no matter what, I'll support you," Sean knew that if he told Orlando that he'd be more than happy if they decided to have this baby Orlando would feel obligated to agree. Orlando nodded, chewing his bottom lip nervously. He was completely lost with no idea what to do.
"You must be tired," Sean gently caressed Orlando's curls. "Let's go to bed. You don't have to decide right away."
At Sean's words Orlando realized just how tired he really was and instantly yawned.
"Bed sounds good," He mumbled wrapping his arms around Sean's neck as the man lifted him into his arms.
"Yes and tomorrow you'll sleep in and have a nice, relaxed day."
"Can't. Need to go to work."
Sean sighed in exaggeration.
"No you don't. You need your rest."
"But-"
"No but," Sean gently set Orlando down on the bed and undressed his love.
"They'll manage a day without you, I am sure," Sean gently pulled the blanket over Orlando.
"If you want, I can call Sam in the morning and ask her to come over and keep you company," He added in an afterthought, thinking that talking with his sister might help Orlando.
"That'd be great," Orlando replied sleepily, eyes already closed. Sean undressed before joining his love, holding him tightly. He knew that he wouldn't find much peace or sleep tonight.
~*~*~
Orlando got up sleepily from the couch when the doorbell rang. He had spent his morning in front of the TV, curled up on the couch with a blanket, and had let his thoughts stray. He hadn't come to a conclusion though. In fact, he was even more confused and scared than before.
As soon as Orlando had opened the door small arms wrapped around his right leg, accompanied by a squeal.
"Orrie!"
"Hello Mona," Orlando smiled lovingly, ruffling through the girls brown curls before he looked up at his sister.
"Hey Sammy."
Samantha smiled lovingly as she embraced her brother. After a few seconds she pulled back, a worried look on her face.
"How are you, sweetie?"
Orlando shrugged a little helplessly while giving into Mona's demand to be picked up.
"Confused and scared," Orlando admitted although he smiled as Mona wrapped her little arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
"I'll make us some tea and then we'll talk."
"Thanks, Sammy."
~*~*~
Samantha smiled as she came back from the kitchen with a tray and found Orlando and Mona sitting on the couch, the little girl chatting animatedly about the cat she had seen the other day.
"Mona, why don't you draw a nice picture while Orrie and mummy have a chat?"
Mona nodded happily and took out her color pencils from her small Winnie the Pooh backpack.
Samantha smiled fondly at her as she sat down next to her brother and poured them tea.
"Thanks," Orlando took the warm mug gratefully, wrapping his fingers around it and enjoying the warmth radiating off it.
"So what did Sean say when you told him?"
Orlando took a careful sip, looking at the table as if deep in thought.
"He…he was surprised. Very surprised. And…he said that he would support me whatever I decide,"
He finally mumbled. Samantha nodded, slowly sipping her tea.
"Have you come to a decision yet?"
Orlando shook his head, his face clearly showing how miserable he felt about it.
"I've been thinking about it all morning," He whispered. "I…I don't think I could live with…getting rid off it. I mean this…this must have happened for a reason, right? But then I think about…all the problems it will bring. A baby will cost money, money that I don't have and Sean doesn't have a stable income either. This flat is so small we couldn't even give the baby a nursery. Besides I…I don't want to mess up. I'm not sure if I can do this…" Orlando rubbed his eyes, trying hard to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.
"Oh Orlando," Samantha gently wrapped her arms around her little brother and kissed his forehead.
"It must be so horribly confusing for you but we'll get this sorted out, I promise."
Orlando gave a small nod and buried his face in her neck, sobbing softly. Samantha gently rubbed his back.
"Shhhh that's alright sweetie. Just let it all out."
Forcing himself to calm down in order not to scare Mona, Orlando pulled back again, giving his sister a shaky smile.
"Thanks."
"I haven't done anything yet," Samantha answered, pushing a strand of brown hair back behind Orlando's ear.
"So you want the baby? Don't let money be a factor in your decision, because we will find a solution for that, don't you worry."
Orlando gave a small nod and wiped the last traces of tears from his face. He was silent for a minute before he looked up at Samantha again, lips trembling lightly.
"I think I want the baby," He whispered.
"You think?" Samantha gently asked, not wanting to push Orlando too much but also wanting to make sure that he made the right decision.
"Yes. I mean…there…what if…if I am…if I do everything wrong? I don't want the baby to…to have a bad life because I mess up."
"Everyone is scared, Orlando. Hell, I was completely freaked out when I found out that I am pregnant. But believe me; you'll grow into your role as a father. Just look how great you are with Mona."
"That's different," Orlando mumbled, causing Samantha to roll her eyes.
"It is not. We'll just take this one step at a time. You want the baby and with that the most important of all decisions is made."
Orlando nervously sipped his tea. He was far from accepting the fact that they would have a baby, it just felt so unreal.
"What about the money? We can't afford it, Sammy."
"I told you, money won't be a reason not to have the baby. Of course you'll have to make sacrifices but it'll work out. I have tons of stuff at home that Mona doesn't need anymore, you can have all of them. There are financial aids that you will get and for the first time the baby will sleep in your bedroom. Sean and you will have to cut back on the wild sex until you can move to a bigger flat though," Samantha giggled as Orlando's cheeks became a deep red color.
"See? Everything solved."
Orlando smiled and hugged her.
"I wouldn't know what to do without you, Sammy. Thank you so much."
~*~*~
Orlando hummed softly to himself as he folded the little piece of clothing and carefully put it away in the drawer. Samantha had brought over a box full of baby clothing and Orlando took great joy in looking at it and putting in the drawer, making everything ready for their little one. Six months had passed and slowly he had grown used to the thought of having a baby. A baby boy as the doctor had told them. Orlando's smile widened as his hand caressed the soft clothing. He had been working until a month ago, but the standing and running around had become too much. It was hard on them not to have that extra money monthly but Sean was making good money at the theater and Ian McKellen, the owner and director, had already promised him a role in the next play. All in all things couldn't have been better, had there not been the doubts that still came to Orlando's mind every now and then. He was really looking forward to the child, to have a real family with Sean, but he was also scared. After all, their life would change completely. Orlando's eyes lingered on the yellow romper he had just taken out of the box. It was so small and the thought that a human being would be small enough to fit into it was nearly absurd. Still, it would. Their baby boy would wear it and that knowledge was enough to warm Orlando's heart and showed him that all the fears and sacrifices were worth it.
"Hey. How are my loves doing today?" Sean smiled as he entered the room and sat down behind
Orlando, wrapping his arms around his boy and rested his hands on the now present bump. Orlando smiled and turned his head, kissing Sean softly.
"We're fine. A little tired, though. How are you?" He smiled, cuddling into his love.
"Great," Sean beamed, placing a kiss on Orlando's neck.
"I got the part of MacBeth in Ian's next play. The pay is more than you and I earned together in the past months."
Orlando turned around in Sean's arms as best as he could, eyes wide.
"Really? Oh Seanie, that's awesome," He leaned forward, his lips touching Sean's softly. At least they wouldn't have to worry so much about money anymore. Orlando giggled lightly when the baby started to squirm as well.
"I think little one is very happy about that as well."
~*~*~
Sean looked into the mirror, trying to relax. The past two months had been stressful and he felt like he hadn't been relaxed in ages. Coordinating the rehearsals and a moody, pregnant boyfriend wasn't an easy task, not to mention getting everything ready for Gabriel at home.
It had taken them nearly a month, two name books, and many arguments until they had finally agreed on the name. Sean would have agreed to most of Orlando's choices (except for the really weird ones like Boaz, Ira, Ezra, Nehemia, or Boromir) but every day Sean came home from work he could be sure that Orlando had already changed plans again and found five new names he loved. After over three weeks of this Sean had finally had enough and had opened one of the name books, choosing a name randomly by placing his finger one of them without looking. Of course they would have to make up a more sensational story, should Gabriel ever ask how they had chosen his name. Sean still couldn't believe that in two, probably only one week, he would already be able to hold Gabriel.
A soft smile crossed Sean's face but he was soon pulled out of his thoughts by the shrill sound of the bell, signaling that the play would begin in less than five minutes. It was the premiere of MacBeth and Sean couldn't deny that he was at least a tad nervous. Probably he would have been more nervous hadn't his life been so stressful already this past few weeks. Besides, the knowledge that Orlando was sitting in the audience calmed him. He only hoped Orlando hadn't brought crackers or chips or something like that. In the past few weeks Orlando had seemingly been constantly hungry and everyone who dared to do as much as look at him from the side got a nasty "I am pregnant I am allowed to do whatever I want." look which was often followed by tears and exclamations that people didn't understand how he felt and were simply mean to him. Sean shook his head and chuckled. Despite all of this he was more in love with Orlando than ever before. A small smile could still be found on Sean's face as he entered the stage.
~*~*~
Sean stretched, feeling as if he had just run a marathon. The premiere had been a success. He was relieved and happy, but right now he wanted to find Orlando, go home, and crawl into bed. He hadn't seen his boyfriend in the audience but then again the lights on the stage were bright and you could barely make out more than silhouettes. After getting rid off the make up he hastily changed into his clothes, a knock on the door interrupting him.
"Come in," Sean mumbled while pulling his jumper over his head. He frowned when instead of Orlando only Jake entered the room.
"Uh…hi." The nervous tremor in the boy's voice wasn't a good sign. Sean started to stuff all his belongings back into his back, his eyes never leaving Jake.
"Where is Orlando?"
"By now hopefully at the hospital."
"WHAT?!" All packing was forgotten as Sean stared at Jake, wanting to glare, but he was too worried.
"Don't get upset," Jake tried to sound calm, taking a step back.
"During the play he got contractions, but he didn't want to ruin the evening for you. He asked me to stay and tell you afterwards. Kirsten and Sam have taken him to the hospital," Jake was absolutely sure that he heard a growling sound coming from Sean's direction as the man took his backpack and stomped out of the room, mumbling about stupid boyfriends and even stupider bastards who called themselves friends.
Later, Sean wouldn't remember how he had made it to the hospital. Everything up to the moment he was finally with Orlando had become a blur (although probably only the pain of Orlando squeezing his fingers so hard that they were bruised for days had made him coherent again).
"Ow! Bloody hell, you're breaking my fingers!"
"I'm breaking your fingers?! Well I am sorry; I am just in a little bit of pain RIGHT NOW!"
The doctor exchanged a knowing smirk with one of the nurses as Sean whimpered again. Orlando had obviously tightened his grip even more.
Half an hour later the cry of a baby broke the tension that had settled over the room. Orlando sank back, completely exhausted, while Sean felt absolutely torn between looking after Orlando and trying to catch a glimpse of their boy. The nurse ended his dilemma when she gently handed Gabriel to Orlando. He was already safely wrapped in a warm piece of clothing, his eyes half open, taking in their surroundings. The exhaustion left Orlando's face and a brilliant smile took its place as he carefully held their boy. Sean brusquely rubbed his eyes, overwhelmed by the scene before him. Gabriel was so tiny, so helpless. He needed their protection and Sean was determined to protect their little boy from everyone and everything.
A little hesitantly, Sean sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully wrapping his arm around Orlando's shoulder while watching Gabriel. People always said that their child was the most beautiful one but as Sean took in the perfect little fingers, and the perfect little face he was absolutely sure that their child was the most beautiful one on earth. After all he also had the most beautiful boyfriend. Sean gently caressed Gabriel's cheek with one finger and as the baby opened his eyes a little more, looking at him curiously, he felt a sensation he had never felt before in the pit of his stomach.
"He's so perfect," He whispered softly not able to take his eyes off of the little wonder in Orlando's arms. Orlando smiled brightly, holding Gabriel just a little bit tighter.
"Yes he is."
~*~*~
Since then I have felt so blessed and grateful every single day. I have not only found the love of my life but we also have a wonderful boy. We are a real family. That's more than I could have ever asked for.
The delicious smell of coffee fills the room and Orlando hands me a mug. I kiss him softly before taking a sip, feeling completely content.
FIN