[Internal Log] ...
[Internal Log]
This is not fair. It just is NOT fair. I don't want to be saddled with this responsibility. There are plenty of other mechs -- you know, like Prime HIMSELF who could be given this ability to sense the Matrix, and tell a little bit about whoever is holding it at the moment. The hindsight is rather irritating -- sure, I know it was Seether after the fact. If I knew who exactly had it now, I could just COMM THEM! Why the run around? What does it prove? What is it FOR?!
I can't accept this "divine blessing" like Sunstorm does, like it's the ultimate reason for existance. I want to be a singer. I want to make peace with my brother. I want to know Soundwave better. I want this Matrix business and the damn war over with so I can just do something with my life that doesn't involve all this scrap! Tired of fighting, tired of endless challenges, tired of..everything...
I just want to be.
But, of course, there is always something else. I know I can't think about it right now, but I know something happened to Tracks. There's that part of my spark that knows him, and even when we were seperated on Cybertron and after the Ark launch it didn't feel like this. Like he's...alive, yet not here. But at the same exact time, there is a feeling of him..but-but not quite him...here. I need to get to the Ark to find out what's going on!! But I can't...I - I..can't...
Is this some kind of punishment, Primus? Am I paying for my vanity? Why make me as beautiful as I am if that is so? You also made my spark, was it wrong for me to see my bondmate on the opposite side of the war? Or is this all an indication that everything will come crashing down around me and I'll be left with nothing, so I need to make myself useful for something before then?
Why create me at all, if that is how it will end...
[/Internal Log]
This is not fair. It just is NOT fair. I don't want to be saddled with this responsibility. There are plenty of other mechs -- you know, like Prime HIMSELF who could be given this ability to sense the Matrix, and tell a little bit about whoever is holding it at the moment. The hindsight is rather irritating -- sure, I know it was Seether after the fact. If I knew who exactly had it now, I could just COMM THEM! Why the run around? What does it prove? What is it FOR?!
I can't accept this "divine blessing" like Sunstorm does, like it's the ultimate reason for existance. I want to be a singer. I want to make peace with my brother. I want to know Soundwave better. I want this Matrix business and the damn war over with so I can just do something with my life that doesn't involve all this scrap! Tired of fighting, tired of endless challenges, tired of..everything...
I just want to be.
But, of course, there is always something else. I know I can't think about it right now, but I know something happened to Tracks. There's that part of my spark that knows him, and even when we were seperated on Cybertron and after the Ark launch it didn't feel like this. Like he's...alive, yet not here. But at the same exact time, there is a feeling of him..but-but not quite him...here. I need to get to the Ark to find out what's going on!! But I can't...I - I..can't...
Is this some kind of punishment, Primus? Am I paying for my vanity? Why make me as beautiful as I am if that is so? You also made my spark, was it wrong for me to see my bondmate on the opposite side of the war? Or is this all an indication that everything will come crashing down around me and I'll be left with nothing, so I need to make myself useful for something before then?
Why create me at all, if that is how it will end...
[/Internal Log]