Thanksgiving is the shittiest holiday known to man
What the fuck is it even for? I think it's to bring your family together so you can all see just how fucked up they and you all really are. We argued the whole time about the stupidest shit. Then they all proceeded to get smashed. Did we really think this one through guys? Call me crazy but I would think they would know if we are aggressive to begin with then we're going to be even more so when inebriated. Dumb fucks. But alas, they are my family.
Anyshit, I heard a kick ass song today that put me in a somewhat better mood. It is new Perfect Circle I think and it is fucking AWESOME!!!!! It reminds me of someone I used to be close with. If I am not too awfully lazy I may type down the lyrics in a bit, but right now is bitch time. I haven't done it in a while. Give me a break.
I think Lora and Gavin might break up. I know this probably doesn't make a damn to anyone reading this, but she is my bestfriend. I have no idea how to fix this. They fight al the time and I know it's because of me. Gavin hates me because I dumped him in high school to make a long story short and he hates the fact that I am Lora's bestfriend more. He told her to choose and she pretty much told him off and chose me. So I called him and told him the he was fucking up royally and that he needed to call her back. Despite what I think of Gavin, I know he makes Lora happy and I'm not about to do the same selfish shit he did to her. I would never make her choose because she loves him. He is an asshole!!! Maybe there is a good person in there somewhere, but here recently that good person is nowhere to be found. They talked and they may be alright, but you never know when he is going to do something fucking stupid again to hurt her. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't hurt her intentionally. He just doesn't think, much like some other guys I know, he has no idea what he really wants. It kills me to see her hurt like she does, but I don't know what to do about it other than to just be there for her. I only hope that is enough.
I am sitting here in this apartment al by my fucking self and I can not even describe how much that shit sucks!!!!! I went on my date with Porter and I must say it was a little under par for what I was expecting. He had to be at work at 5:00 and since I didn't get back to Norman until 4:00 we had to cut it short, but I am supposed to see him when he gets off work tonight. He seems like a pretty nice guy, but I am still watching y back. Everyone seems to either be WAY to innocent or WAY too experienced for me. That or they're just an asshole. I haven't quit placed Porter yet, but if I had to make the call no I would say...... asshole category, easily. He tries too had to be tough and hard core and he isn't at all. He's a softy and the softies that pretend to be hard core are the ones I usually end up hurting the most. Then again, I seem to hurt then al somehow. I'm starting to believe the whole "addy's a praying mantis" thing. I never try to hurt anybody, I just don't think they care as much as they do so I either lose hope completely on them when they really do care or, they care, I know they care, and I'm not good enough for them... at least that is how it feels in my head. I don't know, fuck it.... I'm tired of thinking about it.
I hope everyone's Thanksgiving went well. For those of you who hunt, which I doubt there are many who do on livejournal, I hope you killed something as well. *chuckles* (for Patrick)
Okay, now the song:
“Dead as dead can be,” my doctor tells me
But I just can’t believe him, never the optimistic one
I’m sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way
Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become…my perfect enemy…
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
You’re better of this…you’re better off this…
Maybe you’re better off!
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say, “You fucking disappoint me!”
Maybe you’re better off this way
Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive - A Perfect Circle
Anyshit, I heard a kick ass song today that put me in a somewhat better mood. It is new Perfect Circle I think and it is fucking AWESOME!!!!! It reminds me of someone I used to be close with. If I am not too awfully lazy I may type down the lyrics in a bit, but right now is bitch time. I haven't done it in a while. Give me a break.
I think Lora and Gavin might break up. I know this probably doesn't make a damn to anyone reading this, but she is my bestfriend. I have no idea how to fix this. They fight al the time and I know it's because of me. Gavin hates me because I dumped him in high school to make a long story short and he hates the fact that I am Lora's bestfriend more. He told her to choose and she pretty much told him off and chose me. So I called him and told him the he was fucking up royally and that he needed to call her back. Despite what I think of Gavin, I know he makes Lora happy and I'm not about to do the same selfish shit he did to her. I would never make her choose because she loves him. He is an asshole!!! Maybe there is a good person in there somewhere, but here recently that good person is nowhere to be found. They talked and they may be alright, but you never know when he is going to do something fucking stupid again to hurt her. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't hurt her intentionally. He just doesn't think, much like some other guys I know, he has no idea what he really wants. It kills me to see her hurt like she does, but I don't know what to do about it other than to just be there for her. I only hope that is enough.
I am sitting here in this apartment al by my fucking self and I can not even describe how much that shit sucks!!!!! I went on my date with Porter and I must say it was a little under par for what I was expecting. He had to be at work at 5:00 and since I didn't get back to Norman until 4:00 we had to cut it short, but I am supposed to see him when he gets off work tonight. He seems like a pretty nice guy, but I am still watching y back. Everyone seems to either be WAY to innocent or WAY too experienced for me. That or they're just an asshole. I haven't quit placed Porter yet, but if I had to make the call no I would say...... asshole category, easily. He tries too had to be tough and hard core and he isn't at all. He's a softy and the softies that pretend to be hard core are the ones I usually end up hurting the most. Then again, I seem to hurt then al somehow. I'm starting to believe the whole "addy's a praying mantis" thing. I never try to hurt anybody, I just don't think they care as much as they do so I either lose hope completely on them when they really do care or, they care, I know they care, and I'm not good enough for them... at least that is how it feels in my head. I don't know, fuck it.... I'm tired of thinking about it.
I hope everyone's Thanksgiving went well. For those of you who hunt, which I doubt there are many who do on livejournal, I hope you killed something as well. *chuckles* (for Patrick)
Okay, now the song:
“Dead as dead can be,” my doctor tells me
But I just can’t believe him, never the optimistic one
I’m sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way
Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become…my perfect enemy…
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say, “You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
Maybe you’re better off this way
You’re better of this…you’re better off this…
Maybe you’re better off!
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say, “You fucking disappoint me!”
Maybe you’re better off this way
Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive aggressive bullshit
Passive - A Perfect Circle