A relevant link and story--

[bellatrys]

How Adrian Brody molested Halle Berry at the 2003 Oscars and got away with it, from Men Can Stop Rape; I don't watch TV and didn't even hear about this, so unimportant a scandal was it compared to, say, Bjork's costume faux pas, until someone mentioned it in the ongoing multi-blog Ellison-vs-Willis discussion. So I googled it, and WTF? But just

Comments

[evilstorm]

Mm. Word. I don't think he intended it maliciously or even in that stupid arrogant way that most guys do, but it was inappropriate, impolite and goddamn stupid anyway. Therefore word.

(Also? Totally orgasmed over that icon. Totally. Augh. ♥)

That's what Entitlement/Privilege *looks* like

[bellatrys]

it's no more considered out of line than somebody patting a Golden Retriever a little too hard, or fondling its ears when it's headshy and doesn't want it. (Of course, as I mentioned before, do that to a dog and you may need to go to the ER.)

A lot of bloggers I saw when looking it up commented on how "cute" it was, especially her shocked expression...

Re: That's what Entitlement/Privilege *looks* like

[evilstorm]

Hurrrr. Point. Shouldn't happen at all, eh.

(Do that to me and you'd probably end up in the ER. So, well, yes. Point very much taken.)

You might think so.

[bellatrys]

But what if it's a friend? A respected community elder? Everyone likes to *think* that they'd scream/fight back/be different, but when it happens, how many do? About as many as men actually step in chivalrously and make their brother male stop, I'd bet. One of the many stories of con molestation now coming out all over the place as a result of this (thus destroying the "isolated incident/bad apple" excuses) is how a woman was ass-groped at a skywatching group of fellow fen, and turned around and found a man she had trusted, grinning at her, who ran away when she exlaimed in betrayal, "I thought you were a friend!"

Re: You might think so.

[evilstorm]

Well. You're talking to someone who is not only Chaotic by nature, but is also Extremely Violent, far more so than most. So I don't know. But I think I've listened to too much rebel rock and read too much empowerment lit (and talked to you for far too long, I might add) to be able to stay silent. I don't know, of course I can't be 100% certain of what I'd do, but I think it would end in a fair bit of pain for someone who's not me.

Re: You might think so.

[aitchellsee]

Can you point me back to the LJ or blog where that incident was recounted? Possibly in email if you don't want to link it particularly -- or is it for you, as it is for me, lost in the forest, just one in the hundreds of posts on this discussion that I read over the weekend and don't have time to retrace my steps even if I could...

Because when I originally read it, I'd missed that it was an actual "man she had trusted" who groped her...at the time (even in this context) I read it as some unexpected stranger groping her, and she'd originally thought it was someone she knew, who was getting out of bounds even for the friendship they had, and then looked over and found it was an actual stranger grinning at her, and when she said "I thought you were a friend" she meant "I thought you were someone else" not "I've been deceived in you"...but I freely admit I may have misread the story, and I'd like to go back and check it but I've lost my clew through the labyrinth.

HLC in NYC
going back to lurking

Re: That's what Entitlement/Privilege *looks* like

[nenya_kanadka]

*Especially* her shocked expression? Yikes.

And yeah, point taken about what privilege looks like.