A relevant link and story--
How Adrian Brody molested Halle Berry at the 2003 Oscars and got away with it, from Men Can Stop Rape; I don't watch TV and didn't even hear about this, so unimportant a scandal was it compared to, say, Bjork's costume faux pas, until someone mentioned it in the ongoing multi-blog Ellison-vs-Willis discussion. So I googled it, and WTF? But just another example of a successful woman needing to be put in her place, and shown that she's just a dish for men to sample from sexually in public, and then be laughed at for it.
The historical/colonial aspects are not ignored, either, by the author of this essay.
Zero tolerance, folks. Time to draw the line. [Where? [OMGWTFhowcanweknowwhatnottoDO? Are there supposed to be like, wow, Rule Books? Eeep, PC! PC! PC!] Well, guys, if you have to ask you already know better if you wouldn't do it to another guy in public, then don't do it to us. We're not pets. We're not children. Heck, you lot probably wouldn't go up to a strange dog and touch them as familiarly as you handle us, not unless you're very bold and/or very ignorant of safe behavior around dogs. And guess what, children don't like having their cheeks pinched or their heads petted by strangers, either. If you're on intimate enough terms with someone that you go home with them and know what they like in bed, then yes, you can touch his or her pelvic or pectoral regions, or kiss them, even French-kiss, without having to worry about being out of line, just possibly being annoying with your PDA to your fellow convention-goers.
Otherwise - if you wouldn't dream of rubbing the buttocks or massaging the shoulderblades or riffling the hair of or just standing that close to a male author/colleague/concom/fan because that would be a sexualized or sexual-looking gesture and whoah nellie! -- then just roll up that dream of doing it to me or her or her or her-- And even more importantly: If you wouldn't like to see some other guy doing it to your girlfriend, your sister, -- your mom because nothing says you have to stop being fen just because you're 'breeding,' as Jane Austen would put it -- then why is it okay to stand idly by just because you don't feel your masculinity being threatened since it isn't the lamentations of your women--? If you do, if you snicker or look away embarrassed and mute, then you give the lie to any dream-claims you make that you'd be The Hero who'd rush in and rescue a woman being raped by bandits etc etc etc ad nauseum.
And we need to stop shucking and jiving and pretending that it didn't happen, when some wannabe-alpha thinks he can come up and mount us or demand we roll over and bare throats for him in front of the pack, too. We need to stop excusing it away, blaming ourselves, laughing it off as "boys will be boys" or even "Men!" and "guys suck!" amongst ourselves. --Even if it does go against all our neuro-linguistic and subvocal social programming.
And we need to step in and say STOP!!! when we see it being done to someone not us, too. "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?"
The historical/colonial aspects are not ignored, either, by the author of this essay.
Zero tolerance, folks. Time to draw the line. [Where? [OMGWTFhowcanweknowwhatnottoDO? Are there supposed to be like, wow, Rule Books? Eeep, PC! PC! PC!] Well, guys, if you have to ask you already know better if you wouldn't do it to another guy in public, then don't do it to us. We're not pets. We're not children. Heck, you lot probably wouldn't go up to a strange dog and touch them as familiarly as you handle us, not unless you're very bold and/or very ignorant of safe behavior around dogs. And guess what, children don't like having their cheeks pinched or their heads petted by strangers, either. If you're on intimate enough terms with someone that you go home with them and know what they like in bed, then yes, you can touch his or her pelvic or pectoral regions, or kiss them, even French-kiss, without having to worry about being out of line, just possibly being annoying with your PDA to your fellow convention-goers.
Otherwise - if you wouldn't dream of rubbing the buttocks or massaging the shoulderblades or riffling the hair of or just standing that close to a male author/colleague/concom/fan because that would be a sexualized or sexual-looking gesture and whoah nellie! -- then just roll up that dream of doing it to me or her or her or her-- And even more importantly: If you wouldn't like to see some other guy doing it to your girlfriend, your sister, -- your mom because nothing says you have to stop being fen just because you're 'breeding,' as Jane Austen would put it -- then why is it okay to stand idly by just because you don't feel your masculinity being threatened since it isn't the lamentations of your women--? If you do, if you snicker or look away embarrassed and mute, then you give the lie to any dream-claims you make that you'd be The Hero who'd rush in and rescue a woman being raped by bandits etc etc etc ad nauseum.
And we need to stop shucking and jiving and pretending that it didn't happen, when some wannabe-alpha thinks he can come up and mount us or demand we roll over and bare throats for him in front of the pack, too. We need to stop excusing it away, blaming ourselves, laughing it off as "boys will be boys" or even "Men!" and "guys suck!" amongst ourselves. --Even if it does go against all our neuro-linguistic and subvocal social programming.
And we need to step in and say STOP!!! when we see it being done to someone not us, too. "If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?"