consider this a letter that i never sent, however inconsiderate it seems
Someone wrote me an entry a few days ago. Aww, how sweet, an entire entry dedicated to me -- you shouldn't have! The thing is though, she shouldn't have. But since she did, and since she does not appear to agree with me on the matter of resolving things in person, I'm going to have to respond on here on the off chance that she'll read this some day. She knows who she is, I don't feel the need to drop names for the whole internet world to see. So here we go...
This entry is not Friends Locked so that you can see it. I've removed you from my Friends List. I'm so tired of the way you've been treating me this year.
--Well since you wanted me to see it so badly, you could have just emailed me. You're older than me, I expect some sort of maturity from you.
You haven't really tried to hang out or anything since sophomore year, and even then it was scarce. This year, you only call me so that I can help you unpack or help you with groceries or help you WHATEVER...then get angry that I was at WORK b/c you think I was ignoring your calls--Just think. I ALWAYS called back...just too late. You'll call me a billion times at 8:30 in the morning because you think I'm asleep and need me to print something for you and think I'm ignoring you, then get mad when I tell you I was in class--so sorry it's an inconvenience to YOU...
--I have a life. I also am aware that you have a life. You work, you're an RA, and you are taking a ton of classes. The stuff you have invited me to, is stuff I'm just not into. Not your fault. (You'll probably accuse me of thinking it is anyway though, so I don't know why I'm telling you that anyway. More on that later.) Yes I called you to help me do things, just like I called everyone else. If I need help and someone doesn't answer, I don't leave a message, I call someone else. I would never get mad at you for being at work or something because that's a responsibility you have to fulfill. I would like to know what makes you think I was, because I wasn't. If I remember correctly, I've only called you once at 89:30am, and I was never mad that you couldn't help. You're not the only person I ask help from. And I pretty much never use my phone for social purposes, so don't think I was just using you or something.
...You freak out over the smallest things. You always get mad at me for no reason. I'll say whatever and you take it the wrong way and blow up at me and then are mad for weeks on end.
--No, you just THINK I get mad at you. Once I'm accused of something I'm not guilty of, then I get mad. I don't "blow up", and I'm only mad for maybe a few hours, tops. Please explain to me where this whole "weeks on end" thing comes from, because I really don't know and I want to allow you the chance to defend yourself as much as I'm defending myself.
I've blown it off and let it roll off my shoulders because, really, we don't see each other anymore. Who wants to fight? I hate fighting.
--So do I. I tried to tell you I wasn't arguing the other day, and my apologies if my typing "not arguing" seemed like I was being short w/you, but knowing you had to go I wanted to type it as quickly as possible so you could actually read it in time. I probably didn't word this part very well.
But today was the last straw. I was trying to HELP you because of the vending machine thing. It isn't MY fault that I'm an RA. It isn't MY fault that you're pissed off that you didn't know about the phone number thing and I did. Nothing was my fault and yet you blew up at me.
--I totally said at least twice that it was NOT YOUR FAULT. I did not blow up at you, I was simply venting about something that bothered me. Tell me you've never complained about something to anyone? I thought you were my friend and you'd like listen to me or something but you obviously have selective reading because you're mad at me for things that I specifically stated were not true.
You always get mad at me when I try to help and I'm absolutely sick of it.
--Again, you THINK I do. Why? I don't know. Maybe you have insecurity issues. Maybe there's another underlying issue (such as that contained in the final paragraph). But you've been wrong the whole time.
I don't need people who give me bad karma in my life, and unfortunately, you always leave me upset and frustrated with your antics. I don't need this. You aren't a true friend.
--Let me just make something clear... I do not leave you upset, you just make yourself that way by thinking all these inaccurate things of my feelings/intentions.
(As a side note, and this isn't directed towards the person I'm responding to, but I find the word "antics" rather amusing. It makes me sound like I'm five. I realize that was not the writer's intention though.)
Please refrain from future contact with me--Forget you knew me. If I see your number on my cell, I won't answer. I won't respond to AIM, etc. From now on, PLEASE leave me alone. It's all I ask of you.
--Hi, I live in your building. Chances are you're going to see me. You're not exactly making me want to call you for any reason, and you're not even on AIM enough to respond to me anyway, so am I supposed to feel threatened or something?
So sorry that this pisses you off even more, since I'm sure it does. I'm also sure that you'll turn around and bitch about me behind my back...you're good at that. But I no longer care. I'm through with you.
--Actually, it amused the crap out of me. Thanks for the laugh. And I won't lie, I probably have "bitched about you". But you "no longer care"? Honey, you wrote me a long freakin' Live Journal entry for the whole world to see. You obviously care enough to make me look like an idiot in front of anyone nosy enough to read something that was oh so clearly addressed to me.
Just to add, I know I take it for granted when people DO help me out and stuff, like I say thank you but I really do need to be more grateful sometimes and I'm glad that you did point that out, albeit in a completely roundabout way.
Anyway, that's the end of that. Like I said, you know how to contact me.