Black Widow Challenge: Part 1
[Watch out, she's poisonous!]
Mehhh. It's taken me a while to make myself start writing again. I've been so busy with work, and I've been unmotivated in general. I just haven't felt like doing much of anything lately. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to try out the Black Widow challenge. I got the idea from alittlestrange and it seemed like fun, so why not document and share it? I'm not too good at winning "points", but I'm going to try.
Here's our black widow herself, Beatrice Langston. Here are her stats:
Scorpio: (10/4/8/3/0)
+: Hard Worker, Creativity
-: Unemployed
Now how about a little backstory of Beatrice and how she became an aspiring black widow, told by Beatrice herself.
Beatrice: I had just turned 9 years old when my mom's boyfriend, David moved into the house. My dad passed away when I was very young, so I don't remember much of him. David was no father to me, and I despised him for stealing my mom from me. I couldn't stand his constant romantic interactions between him and mom. There had to be something done about it, and I was going to be the person to put an end to it.
Beatrice: I had the perfect idea. Poison David's food. I used so little rat poison so that it would look like an accident. I did my research, I knew that if you used a very small amount of rat poison, it couldn't be traced.
Beatrice: At first, I didn't want David to die. But I started thinking about it, and about how if he had stayed, he would've eventually became my "step-daddy" and I just couldn't have that. What if he wanted to have kids and just replace me like that?
Beatrice: When David's throat started to close up, I couldn't help but feel accomplished. I wouldn't describe the feeling as happy or sad. It was more of a mutual feeling towards his death.
Beatrice: Of course, my mom was torn up about his untimely death. I expected her to be this way. She loved David more than she loved me. I reassured her to not worry about David and that she'd never lose me.
Beatrice: I knew that my mom would start to suspect something with me if I had no emotions towards David's death. I had to put on an act. I cried for days, refused to eat my food or even bathe for that matter. Some might say I had gone a little too far, but I think my acting was very convincing. Mom grew concerned with me, and started taking me to a therapist named Tom Thompson.
Tom: Beatrice, the reason you're here is because your mother was concerned for you. She loves you, you know.
Beatrice: My mom doesn't love me, she loved David and now he's gone. I wouldn't know what love felt like even if I tried. I don't feel love... I don't feel anything.
Tom: I'm very concerned about your daughter... There's no telling yet because she is so young, but Beatrice is showing early signs of childhood psychopathy. I can recommend some good boarding schools for young girls like her if you'd like.
Rachel: What do you mean? Are you saying my nine year old daughter's crazy? That can't be.
Rachel: I've done everything I could've for Beatrice! Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? I'm a terrible mother!
Tom: It's not your fault, Ms. Langston. Most cases of childhood psychopathy are not linked to their environment they grew up in. It's a genetic disorder for most. You're not a bad mother.
Beatrice: So they sent me to Saint Elizabeth's. A Christian boarding school for troubled young girls. But that story's for another time, let's focus on the present.
I hope you enjoyed that sob story I just made up. Damn that was dramatic.
Here's a lovely photo of Beatrice, currently eating some chips or something.
I sent her downtown to pick up some digits.
This guy's mustache intrigued me. He's pretty cute!
Beatrice: Have you ever seen the movie Water for Elephants? FUCK THAT MOVIE. FUCK ELEPHANTS. THEY ARE NOT SUPERIOR TO ME.
Guy: Hmph. I don't like your attitude.
You mean that vicious blonde girls with a hatred towards elephants don't turn you on? Your loss.
Beatrice: Aww c'mon, give me another chance? I didn't mean to offend you.
Sure you didn't.
Guys like comedic girls, right? Maybe a little stand-up comedy will lure in some victims men.
Beatrice: Where do cows go on dates? Anyone? ...The mooooon. Haha, get it?
Crowd: *loud boo-ing*
Well that's enough of this place.
I brought Bea to Cold Issue Clothing to pick up some cute maternity-friendly clothes for when she gets pregnant 10 times. She met this dude, who I want to say is named Gerald? I can't remember. I should really start writing names down.
Beatrice: Turn up! He he he he!
I think we all know that's just fruit punch in a can.
I decided to try the good ol' 'chat with random strangers online and then call them up and ask them on a date' trick.
Beatrice: Hey! It's KIllERBEA03, I was just calling to ask if you wanted to hook up?
Beatrice: But... I have canned fruit punch. :(
She was rejected both times she tried this technique.
Ooh, look this dashing young fella!
Beatrice: Oh the Earth? Yeah, it's great. I recycle all the time.
Creepy Bystander: *creeps*
I see that he's a ~shy little petal~
OOOH SHIT, IS THAT A ZAMBIE? Just for fun, I downloaded a mod that allowed zombies to attack other sims and infect them with the virus. It's pretty fucking hilarious to see a bunch of zombies frolicking around the neighborhood attacking other sims.
Con: A flower? For me? :3 *blushes*
He's cute! His name is Con, btw. Idk if that means he's a con artist or what, but I'm keeping an eye on him. It's the shy ones you gotta look out for.
Beatrice: So what do you do for a living?
Con: I work in the military career as a Senior Officer.
Beatrice: A Senior Officer? I bet they make a LOT of money, huh?
Con: Don't mean to brag, but yeah. I do alright for myself.
And they end the night with a sweet little peck.
LOL PSYCHE! Of course they go back inside for some 'adult sexy time'.
Did I hear a jingle?
Bea invited Con to spend the night and I thought he had said yes, but he ended up leaving in the middle of the night anyway. And so now, Beatrice has been laying on the couch all day trying to call him. It's gone straight to the answering machine literally ALL day.
Beatrice: FUCKING FINALLY, YOU'VE PICKED UP! Wanna come over?
He agrees to come over, and Bea greets him with a big, sloppy kiss.
Beatrice: C'mere you!
Con: Ooh!
Walkby: *is extremely offended and uncomfortable*
Walkby: CANT. WATCH.
Then go home? Jesus, nobody forcing you to watch two people flirt with each other in public.
Engagement #1: blastoff!
Notes: The mission was a success.
Followed by an immediate front yard wedding. How romantic. (BTW: He only brought in 1,000. He really IS a fuckin' con artist).
Con likes to cook for himself, which is good. I'm so used to playing ISBIs that I sometimes forget that I'm allowed to control more than one sim, lmao.
Beatrice: *POP!*
Baby #1 is on the way! Now that Bea's visibly pregnant, it's safe to murder Con anytime now.
Beatrice: Watching the weather makes me feel like a scientist.
Really? Because the weatherman of Sim City is usually always wrong about the weather. He changes his mind every 5 minutes. He's not very accurate.
Although Con's not too important anymore, it's still sweet that he cares about his wife and unborn baby.
Here's the thing with the Seasons expansion pack; I've never actually attempted to do anything that came with the game. I've never made a plantsim, or even a garden for that matter. But I REALLY want a wishing well, so I might as well try!
She's so pregnant and cute. Oh, and the only thing she was able to plant was tomatoes at the moment.
Beatrice: I burnt my spaghetti. :(
Aww, Bea's so cute.
Beatrice: Hello, Garden Club people! I invite you to my home to judge my garden!
I had Bea call the Garden Club people so that she can request a membership.
Leigh: Hello, Mrs. Langston! Thank you so much for inviting us over to inspect your garden.
Beatrice: Thanks for coming! I think you'll be quite satisfied with my tomato plants so far.
Garden Club People: *judgin' yo crops n shit*
She got accepted into the club, but no wishing well quite yet. I guess you have to work hard for it. Lame.
Here's a cute picture of Bea being adorable.
Beatrice: OOOOHHHH, THE PAIN! THE AGONY!
It's baby time!
It's a boy! With Con's brown hair and Bea's blue eyes. His name is Harry.
In no time at all, it's Harry's birthday! (Yes, I did cheat and age him up. Babies are so annoying).
He's sooo cute! I think he's a good blend of his parents. What do you think?
Con: Hai thar, sim people! :D
I tried making Con lay in the front lawn to get hit by a meteor, but I guess it just wasn't a lucky night. :/
Him peeing himself did kinda make up for it, though.
Con: Dangit!
Also notice: a new cat! He was a stray who kept visiting Bea, and eventually they became fond of each other. His name is Moonshine.
Hmm... The computer is conveniently broken. Maybe Con will get electrocuted to death?
*sigh* death by computer it isn't. He managed to fix it, with his 2 mechanical skill points.
Ooh, what's this?
Con: How dare you cheat on me, with my coworker! You whore!
Beatrice: Hehehe, my plan is working! :D
Coworker: Wait, what's happening? :D
Beatrice: GRRR! This will show that no good piece of shit not to slap me! It's his fault he even brought his coworker home with him!
Beatrice: FOR SCIENCE!
What To Do When You Get Locked Outside Your House In a Hail Storm:
Step One: Look for birds. Geese in particular.
Step Two: Attempt to shield yourself with your head. Note that this has a 98% chance of failing to protect you.
Step Three: Question everything.
Con: IS THERE EVEN A GOD???
Grim Reaper: A hail storm? This murder just screams 'amateur'.
I was low on ideas. :(
Even the cat don't give a shit, lmao.
THEY ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT? DAMN.
Shrink visits means that I get points deducted from the challenge. :( Maybe I'll manage to miraculously grow Harry up well. Probably not.
I'll leave you with a cute picture of Harry cuddling with his BFF, Moonshine.
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There it is! I hope you guys enjoyed Part One of this tragic saga. Next time: more drama, heartbreaks, and maybe even another flashback into Bea's past? I'll try to get an Ahren update out sometime this weekend. As always, thanks for reading and I'll see you next time!