can't sleep
have been sick for 2 days throat on fire ears hurt I slept for over 12 hours yesterday....Ken says I'm sick again and I think shes right. I've been crying off and on for the past few hours. Kendras asleep and I wont wake her. she needs the rest. This thing with Mike has me really really upset. I don't even have a picture of him. There were so many times when I was in China that he would say something to help me through the homesickness. He was there when my heart was ripped out. He and Lorri were there when I needed a place to stay. He was always a smile when I needed one. Sure he could be totally focused on trains or guns but he was a good friend. I've missed him many times over the last 5 years. I always wanted to tell him that he was right about love and I always wanted to tell him all about Kendra and how happy I was. I loved him. He was my friend. I hated it when we stopped talking. Its so hard for me to make friends in person so hard for me to get past my anxiety and fear and he was really a nice guy. I can't seem to stop crying. Gods Mike you were one of my best friends for years and I'm sorry i'll never get the chance to see you face to face again in this life. I will find some way to honor you old friend. You will live on in the memory of those who lives you touched. I never forgot you and I never will.
Sorry I wasn't going to write about this I just cant seem to stop the damn tears. I'm sorry I think I need to go make myself some more theraflu and curl up with the dogs until I get tired. I wish I could remember where that vietanese place was Mike used to take me to. He always had the best taste in food. anyways.. other than finding out about mike and being sick I'm doing ok. Ken is working hard sometimes too hard. My cookies of choice are coolmint oreos. I'm craving a really big good steak or prime rib. All 4 of the dogs and the cat are sleeping within 6 feet of me and I can't seem to regulate my body temp I keep getting hot and cold.
On book 4 of The Wheel of Time series. This is a re read. I need to find something new to read. Ok off to take meds. Thanks for listening.
Sorry I wasn't going to write about this I just cant seem to stop the damn tears. I'm sorry I think I need to go make myself some more theraflu and curl up with the dogs until I get tired. I wish I could remember where that vietanese place was Mike used to take me to. He always had the best taste in food. anyways.. other than finding out about mike and being sick I'm doing ok. Ken is working hard sometimes too hard. My cookies of choice are coolmint oreos. I'm craving a really big good steak or prime rib. All 4 of the dogs and the cat are sleeping within 6 feet of me and I can't seem to regulate my body temp I keep getting hot and cold.
On book 4 of The Wheel of Time series. This is a re read. I need to find something new to read. Ok off to take meds. Thanks for listening.