(no subject)
today i woke up and realized i dont love you. A reality briefly denied. I fought to stay above water. My lungs filling and you slipping away. Hate. More comfortable. all of this was just a detour. A short departure from the feelings that i knew would slither back inside. Seeing what it all meant, i decided to abandon you. Simple. Easier to live outside of this reality than confront the dark that has been my companion. Always reliable, and what about you? Dangerous and unstable. Risk without reward. Where have i been? lost in false hope. Living as if i could turn my back on the one true constant. Lurking behind every smile. Slowly crawling back inside and poisoning even the most alluring parts. Knowledge brought pain. The mirror i had to break. The distorted images more beautiful than the truth. Wrapped up so tightly, the exquisite pain. Demolishing light. Learning to deny truth and live inside this nothingness. Love does not save all, and future means nothing to one who despises today. No courage to make an ending, no will to continue. Escape an illusion, there never was any leaving you.