Wedding announcements....advice? comments?
I posted this on a wedding plans board...and got a lot of opinions...but now I'm interested to see what you all think....especially since you all know me and most know my family.... (for those of you on wedding plans too...this is exactly the same).
So...I'm feeling really bad...and I'm not sure if it's Mark's mom's fault or mine...so I'm asking you.
I ordered (and received) our wedding announcements. Mark and I both have huge families...and since we're only having a tiny wedding, we're sending announcements to everyone else (mailing them on our wedding day).
A couple weeks ago I asked my Mark's sister Colleen for addresses for his side of the family..the important people I should send them too... I send notes all the time to my family, so I have our addresses... and he's not much of a mailer so didn't have any. She said she'd email them to me...but didn't. (btw..we're great friends). She just found out she's pregnant...and she's been really busy with school (as a teacher)...so I figured...no big deal.
So, talking to Mark's mom today I asked again for the addresses...and she was like "oh...I think I've told everyone that needs to know." But I told her that I had already received them..and would like to send them out like I'm sending them to my family (who's definitely expecting them...they're super common in our family). And she says, "I'll try...but with everything else going on, it might take a while."
She asked me if I was putting a wedding picture in...and I said "no...since we're mailing them on the wedding day, we won't have pictures yet." And she told me about a cousin who got married in hawaii and sent wedding pictures out with their announcements. And I told her that since we're getting married at the end of October, I figured our wedding picture would be part of our christmas card. But, she said she'd "try."
So, later, I talked to Mark....and she said that my FMIL was adamantly against sending me the addresses because it was "asking for presents" and a lot of her side of the family didn't have the money to send presents.
And now I'm really conflicted...because I thought we were just announcing our wedding...not asking for presents. I know people feel like if they get an invitation, they should send a present...but we didn't even register...not expecting people to gift us. After all, we've been living together for a year, and have bought (and filled) a 4 bedroom house. I think we're pretty good. it's not like I'm just starting out here.
But what do you think? Is sending out announcements asking for gifts? I think I'm not "conflicted" as much offended...that she would think that's my motive.
And here...I was taking it as a "here's our address...since I forgot to send out change of address cards...and when you see us at a family function together with my son from my previous marriage...yes, we're married and raising him together." That's basically what my announcements say....but using different wording. :)
So...I'm feeling really bad...and I'm not sure if it's Mark's mom's fault or mine...so I'm asking you.
I ordered (and received) our wedding announcements. Mark and I both have huge families...and since we're only having a tiny wedding, we're sending announcements to everyone else (mailing them on our wedding day).
A couple weeks ago I asked my Mark's sister Colleen for addresses for his side of the family..the important people I should send them too... I send notes all the time to my family, so I have our addresses... and he's not much of a mailer so didn't have any. She said she'd email them to me...but didn't. (btw..we're great friends). She just found out she's pregnant...and she's been really busy with school (as a teacher)...so I figured...no big deal.
So, talking to Mark's mom today I asked again for the addresses...and she was like "oh...I think I've told everyone that needs to know." But I told her that I had already received them..and would like to send them out like I'm sending them to my family (who's definitely expecting them...they're super common in our family). And she says, "I'll try...but with everything else going on, it might take a while."
She asked me if I was putting a wedding picture in...and I said "no...since we're mailing them on the wedding day, we won't have pictures yet." And she told me about a cousin who got married in hawaii and sent wedding pictures out with their announcements. And I told her that since we're getting married at the end of October, I figured our wedding picture would be part of our christmas card. But, she said she'd "try."
So, later, I talked to Mark....and she said that my FMIL was adamantly against sending me the addresses because it was "asking for presents" and a lot of her side of the family didn't have the money to send presents.
And now I'm really conflicted...because I thought we were just announcing our wedding...not asking for presents. I know people feel like if they get an invitation, they should send a present...but we didn't even register...not expecting people to gift us. After all, we've been living together for a year, and have bought (and filled) a 4 bedroom house. I think we're pretty good. it's not like I'm just starting out here.
But what do you think? Is sending out announcements asking for gifts? I think I'm not "conflicted" as much offended...that she would think that's my motive.
And here...I was taking it as a "here's our address...since I forgot to send out change of address cards...and when you see us at a family function together with my son from my previous marriage...yes, we're married and raising him together." That's basically what my announcements say....but using different wording. :)