hmmm
this has been happening alot lately, i have a blast w/my friends and then i come home and i feel like complete shit. and i dont know why. its just what the fuck is wrong? my friends are awesome and i love them to death. all of them. also, i was reading some of the comments in my yearbook that my friends left and i balled my eyes out earlier today. i realized how good i have it and how good of friends i have. they're always there for me and im always there for them and we can talk so easy and i just love them for it. sometimes i treat them like shit but in the end we're always there for each other.i dont miss paul anymore. i think im finally getting over him slowly. what we had was awesome but i gotta get over the fact we arent anymore and it was just...i mean not stupid, but i guess not the way i had planned for my first love to end up like. :EDIT: my mom is seriously the worst person ever. i cant just sit here and do nothing without her fucking bothering me. she doesnt get it that i dotn want to be bothered. she fucking comes over to me and pulls my hair so i slapped her and shes trying to start with me ill fuckin fight her i dont really care because shes a bitch anyway. then you know what i hate? she goes "college? yeah, okay, good luck with that." she says all this stuff to make me angry and she said some other stuff that was pretty hurtful. i swear to god i hope I DIE WHEN I GOT TO NH WITH KIM AND OUVEANNA. i cant stand this anymore.
my birthday is in a week. im so. fucking. excited.