All them moves like Jagger
And so today will be the day I'll post the entry I intended to post yesterday, because it is perhaps even more true today. Near the end of last year, I started going back to the gym, but only because I was graced with an offer from a new gym partner. One of the women at work recently returned from basic training and AIT but as she's a weekend warrior, she's somewhat on her own when it comes to staying in basic training shape. She admired how much weight I'd lost and wanted to know if I would be interested kn working out with her.
... Duh.
Now, of course I am not doing everything Dawn is doing, but I'm surprised and more than a little proud of what I can do and of how much more I can do after just one month. I did thirty unassisted situps today, then another twenty-five at the end of the workout. I did forty-five yesterday. I couldn't manage five before. I can hold a front leaning rest for at least thirty seconds. I know these are pretty arbitrary things but to me they're pretty huge arbitrary things. I couldn't and now I can.
More importantly, I am getting to know my body better. I know my legs are not as strong as I thought. I know my core is not as weak as I thought. Perhaps the most rewarding is the discovery that I can endure far more than I would have thought, in cardiograph, in strength, and in general, if I just shut up and do it. Which is kind of a theme for me lately.
Anyway. I am grateful, tonight, for the deep ache in every muscle in my legs, I am grateful to the woman who is showing me how to bring this pain (don't worry, I tell her as much, often), and I am profoundly grateful for the body I have that allows me to do these things in the first place. Fear of an early death was what drove me to lose weight in the first place, but this is I think part of a second phase of this process, one where rather than simply postponing death, I am for the first time in my life going to use my body as one of the tools in my search for how I truly want to live.
Take a moment and really think about the word "fitness." What does it mean, honestly, to be fit, to have a life that fits your body and a body that fits your life? That's where I'm at right now: my body does not fit. I am not fit, and that has nothing to do with how many situps I can do and everything to do with bringing every part of my life together into one cohesive unit. The things I am learning about myself on those mats are pretty freaking deep, if I do say so. And I'm only just getting started.
... Duh.
Now, of course I am not doing everything Dawn is doing, but I'm surprised and more than a little proud of what I can do and of how much more I can do after just one month. I did thirty unassisted situps today, then another twenty-five at the end of the workout. I did forty-five yesterday. I couldn't manage five before. I can hold a front leaning rest for at least thirty seconds. I know these are pretty arbitrary things but to me they're pretty huge arbitrary things. I couldn't and now I can.
More importantly, I am getting to know my body better. I know my legs are not as strong as I thought. I know my core is not as weak as I thought. Perhaps the most rewarding is the discovery that I can endure far more than I would have thought, in cardiograph, in strength, and in general, if I just shut up and do it. Which is kind of a theme for me lately.
Anyway. I am grateful, tonight, for the deep ache in every muscle in my legs, I am grateful to the woman who is showing me how to bring this pain (don't worry, I tell her as much, often), and I am profoundly grateful for the body I have that allows me to do these things in the first place. Fear of an early death was what drove me to lose weight in the first place, but this is I think part of a second phase of this process, one where rather than simply postponing death, I am for the first time in my life going to use my body as one of the tools in my search for how I truly want to live.
Take a moment and really think about the word "fitness." What does it mean, honestly, to be fit, to have a life that fits your body and a body that fits your life? That's where I'm at right now: my body does not fit. I am not fit, and that has nothing to do with how many situps I can do and everything to do with bringing every part of my life together into one cohesive unit. The things I am learning about myself on those mats are pretty freaking deep, if I do say so. And I'm only just getting started.