The light's flickering at the end of the tunnel

[believeinwings]

Johnathon died last night in a car accident--details are sketchy. I'm sad. We were friends in highschool, drifted apart as I did with most my HS friends because we were so different. Sounds like another Kennett kid died with him, one who maybe didn't graduate, they haven't released his name yet. I can't get John's smile out of my head. Always smiling. Always a gentleman. So kind and so chivilarous. I didn't get a chance to do anything...I just was shocked. It seems surreal. The last time I saw him was my graduation. We hugged and I said, "Stay in school, good sir," and he said "I'll try, little lady". That's the last time I saw him. "I'll try". He graduated last year...I was proud of him. I really was. He wasn't a great student, had no aspirations of moving on in his life, just graduating high school. And he did it. My friend Heather, with whom I am most definitely estranged, dated him for awhile, went to prom with him twice I believe. Ugh. It's just...so surreal. He's the third kid my district's lost to a car accident in a year. Third. I think maybe they need to have a schoolwide safe driving seminar. We drive too fast. I was driving back and I thought "I'm driving too fast" but it's the speed i've always gone on those roads. But in the shadow of a friend's death, it seemed too fast, like everything was a blur, like every curve was too sharp and like every tree came too close.

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Done. I was crying about Johnathon and then blurted out about the passport. Mom says that part's fixable...Johnathon's not. I know that...still--I hate walking in graveyards and looking at dates and thinking "What could they have done? He was only 18."