5 qualities needed to practice polyamory: awareness, norm-breaking, security, energy, connection

[belenen]

icon: "queer (the logo for Transcending Boundaries Conference overlaid with the words "genderfree, queer, + trans / never a 1 or 0")"I was talking with Topaz and spoke/realized something at the same time. I don't believe there are inherently polyamorous or inherently monogamous people. Whether or not you can practice polyamory depends on 5 things:

Comments

[topaznebula]

I read and liked this post, and it's something I would like to reread at least once over because I want to think on these five things more.

[zvezda]

Meeting new people is always a great recommendation, but so difficult in practice. I feel like the older we get, the harder it is to connect with people. Meeting people can almost feel like a chore when you are seeking it out.

I have no experience with polyamorous relationships. I do not believe they would work for me, in part because of my jealous nature, but also because I have trouble letting many people close to me. I have felt alone most of my life, but I am fortunate to have someone at long last that takes away that sensation. I can't imagine multiple people could break that barrier, at least not at the same time. But then again, this is me, and I know I am very different from others!

I enjoyed reading this post. :)

[jmillfades]

Reading your entry got me thinking about the polyamorous relationship that my husband and I are in. He's romantically involved with her, I am not, she's becoming one of my best friends though so there is emotional involvement, but I do not love her in the sense that he does. Sometimes I want to be selfish and find a person that I can also be with in that way, but than I wake up and realize I'm not up for another romantic relationship. I don't have the energy to put up with someone the way I put up with my husband!! It makes me realize that being in a relationship with someone is work, it's not easy, you literally have to work on it everyday like a job...and this one is enough for me. Great entry!!

[webgirluk]

I relate to many of your thoughts over romantic relationships. Whilst I've never had a polyamorous relationship, I do definitely relate to the idea as for me, I'm a bit anti marriage and see it as too restrictive in ways. I agree it's not an inherent thing and being very non conventional in my thinking allows me to see so many shades of grey in every life situation, really. People get married, mostly as social norms state "that's what people do" but too many get on and do it without perhaps questioning if there are other alternatives. I can relate to why many people would find one relationship too limiting when different people bring different things to our lives as we do theirs although as well, often not the same things are valued. I think the reason I haven't considered being polyamorous in general is due to the idea that friendships I seek are to be ideally so close that the only difference between them is sex and I prefer to be exclusive with someone over actual sexual stuff but as well I think romantic bit more than friends

[webgirluk]

Oh, I forgot to add as well that I too won't consider romantic relationships with people who wouldn't in the long run remain with me as a close friend after although my reasons differ to yours. Having said that, one choice I made I felt confident with did remove me from his life so he could "move on" when I really thought I got this right so I suppose people could surprise in the other direction.

Who is Aurilion and what makes for their weakness?