feeling urges for friend changes / intimacy practice planning / bad dreams / relationship updates

[belenen]

icon: "exuviate (photo of a dragonfly with shimmery green wings after its last metamorphosis, standing next to its previous exoskeleton)"I haven't felt fully seen by someone other than Topaz in a long time and I yearn for that. I don't know if I'm just bad at sharing or if most people have to feel romantic to actually try to see someone or if

Comments

[fragbert]

I usually don't mind when people rarely comment, but there are some people I was hoping to build with who just aren't showing any interest.

Two things to consider:

1. Your reader may be going through a period when even reading LJ, let alone commenting on others' entries or posting entries of their own, is next to impossible due to any number of things, like physical inability, emotional distance, or plain exhaustion. LJ is a leisure activity for many people, and we only have so many leisure minutes during the day to devote.

2. Personally, I read everything that my LJ friends choose to share, but I only comment if/when I have something relevant and constructive to add to the entry and related conversation. I would rather be known as the guy who does that, than the guy who comments to every single entry with trite platitudes or (even worse) nothing but "hugs". That's just creepy.

My suggestion is to let the people know that you're interested in building something with them. Being up front about your needs, wants, and desires is always preferable to keeping them to yourself, regardless of the outcome.

[belenen]

I understand these things and I agree that being up front about needs, wants, and desires is preferable. I get hesitant when I don't know them well enough to tell if we'd get on at a more intimate level, because I don't want them to go out of their way only for me to realize that we don't actually click. Honestly if I am 100% sure that I want to know them and want to be close, I nearly always tell them. I say nearly because I may have forgotten someone, but I can't remember ever NOT telling someone I wanted to be close if I felt sure I wanted to.