Heather described to me what ze thought was the opposite of what I wanted and it was pretty much exactly what I wanted so I thought I'd clarify
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First of all, I think this sounds fabulous and wonderful, and is pretty much exactly what I want. Given financial considerations, though, I think it's pretty impossible to have a tribe in the traditional sense -- where everyone lives basically next door to one another. But a very close-knit group that sees each other super regularly? Yeah, I see no reason that can't happen. I mean, most people have that in grade school/high school, so why couldn't it be possible in adulthood?
Re: Feeling like it's up to you to organize everyone: I dealt with this fairly recently with my family. And I think you're dealing with a similar issue. The thing with having a tribe is that tribes are constantly in flux. So like, with my family, I used to want to do stuff with them all the time ("Family night" as we call it) but I wanted to control it -- I didn't want people I didn't know there; I didn't want people I didn't like there. I thought of my family as only the list of people I had in my head, and other people's vision of family did not count.
Now, that's obviously not what you're doing here with a tribe, but I do think one way to get people more into embracing the idea of this kind of connection is to make them feel like they can bring in their own connections. I don't know if that's something that's already happened or not, or if what I'm saying even makes sense, but I definitely think an open tribe, so to speak, is the way to go.
What about if you asked people to start planning events and gave them a list of people you'd like there, then encouraged them to invite additional people? Like, for example, we could have a dinner at my house with your people+my people and see which people we wanted to come around the next time.
Oh, yeah, I always want people to bring the people who are important to them. That's my 'criteria' -- if they are important to you then it is important to me to know them. If they are a person I feel is unsafe, then I want to know them someplace other than my house, but I'm okay with going out of my way to meet them. I agree that an open tribe is the way to go.
I would love love love if more people planned events and brought people that mattered to them with me and my people. I would super love to meet your people! There are a good chunk of self-described introverts in my tribe though so I think they'd want to meet you first ;-)
Re: Feeling like it's up to you to organize everyone: I dealt with this fairly recently with my family. And I think you're dealing with a similar issue. The thing with having a tribe is that tribes are constantly in flux. So like, with my family, I used to want to do stuff with them all the time ("Family night" as we call it) but I wanted to control it -- I didn't want people I didn't know there; I didn't want people I didn't like there. I thought of my family as only the list of people I had in my head, and other people's vision of family did not count.
Now, that's obviously not what you're doing here with a tribe, but I do think one way to get people more into embracing the idea of this kind of connection is to make them feel like they can bring in their own connections. I don't know if that's something that's already happened or not, or if what I'm saying even makes sense, but I definitely think an open tribe, so to speak, is the way to go.
What about if you asked people to start planning events and gave them a list of people you'd like there, then encouraged them to invite additional people? Like, for example, we could have a dinner at my house with your people+my people and see which people we wanted to come around the next time.
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I would love love love if more people planned events and brought people that mattered to them with me and my people. I would super love to meet your people! There are a good chunk of self-described introverts in my tribe though so I think they'd want to meet you first ;-)
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