on excitement and nourishment in romantic relationships -- NRE versus IFE

[belenen]

NRE (new relationship energy) is this thing you hear about a lot in poly circles -- it's accepted as fact that when you start a new relationship, you get more energy out of it. You get excited and giddy and have the ability to sink tons of energy into the new relationship without feeling drained because there's so much NRE coming in. And then it

Comments

[theindiequeen]

It really bothers me when people say things are inevitable or biological (with something like new relationship energy for example). I equate this kind of thinking, really, with just being lazy. "Oh, our relationship isn't exciting anymore, and I don't really want to do anything about it so I'll just blame it on the fact that it's not the beginning anymore."

I think relationships are like books and stories. There are different ebbs and flows, different story arcs. People change constantly and grow and develop, so of course a relationship (which has at least two people in it) is going to do the same. Some people have more difficulty going with the flow and adjusting to changes and figuring out where they need to spend their own personal energy and focus when things do change. I feel like I've been really bad at that in the past.

I really like how you said "Everyone is amazing if you look closely enough." That's really true.

you

[ext_957228]

sometimes i think you need to right a book.. your point of view if just so interesting and your mind is so complex.. im so happy your my sister :) youve brought so many new worlds and views into my life.. i wish that everyone had such a complex mind.. but the sad thing about that is people dont like to think out of the restricting society rules. its very frustrating to me..