loooovely time with justben -- more stranger envy, hee / happiness, polyamory is perfect for me
justben and I were cuddling at the table after everyone else left tonight -- stroking each others' hands, gazing into each other's eyes, and occasionally hugging -- and when we left, this random stranger told us that we were 'sizzling' which made me giggle quite a bit. Later we were standing outside kissing and the same person walked by and took a photo of us! (ze asked us to kiss for a video so ze could post it on youtube but that just made us giggle which stopped us kissing, hee) Ze added that we made zir jealous (but said this in a sweetly longing way, not in a "damn you for having what I don't" kind of way). I thought it was really cute and kinda cool that ze was so open with us.
Of course in the moment I wasn't thinking much more than "mmmmmm" and "oh my God/dess." Kissing and cuddling with Ben is just intoxicating! And that sweetness in zir presence just gets stronger each time I see zir; it's almost overwhelming. I'm in awe that so much gorgeousness can radiate from just one spirit. and I really feel insanely lucky that ze's sharing it with me ♥
Polyamory is so amazing, and so utterly perfect for me -- something I'm realizing viscerally for the first time because I'm only involved with poly people right now, so there's not that hesitation/worry that was in the back of my mind when I was with my ex-partner. To feel this with Ben AND what I feel for Viv at the same time? To follow my heart unquestioningly? it's just... wow. I'm all aglow, I'm so gloriously happy, I'm so exactly where I'm meant to be. Wow.