dream (confront old couple about racism, meet violet spirit)
I was at a clothing store and met this old couple who said something racist (don't remember what it was) and I debated a few minutes -- is this going to do any good? should I say something subtle? -- and then decided just to be completely blunt and tell them that it was racist and why. A person who looked like Adam Lambert (who looks almost exactly like my mental picture of Ava, so I think ze is my brain's metaphor for a violet spirit) was nearby and agreed with me, and we got into a conversation and were completely caught up in each other (eyes locked). I was sitting on the arm of a couch and ze came closer and closer until ze was pretty much straddling my legs and I invited zir to sit on my lap. When ze did we both we overwhelmed with the intensity of being close to each other -- almost to the point of passing out, we both physically swayed -- so we moved to the couch and sat together, talking. Then the scene switched and I was at my bioparents' old house, realizing that I didn't even know zir name! I got very upset thinking that I had lost zir, and then I had the idea of hunting down all of the people who we used to do homeschool co-op with (because that was apparently where we met) and describing zir (ze was the only 'weird-looking' one in the bunch so it wouldn't be hard). But then I thought that maybe I was imagining things, maybe ze wasn't as interested in me as I had thought, maybe I was the only one who felt the connection, because ze hadn't made any effort to keep in touch. Then ze came up to me (while I was laying on the grass in the front yard) and greeted me with such intense affection that I knew that ze did feel it as much as I did, and we talked more.
You know how I was asking when to speak up about prejudice with acquaintances? I feel like my psyche is saying, "have you considered that you're more likely to meet people you'd connect with if you speak up when there is an audience?" But I don't get it, brain, you'll have to give me about five more of these dreams... ohhhh, I still feel aglow. But also yearning and missing zir :-(