Personally I really struggle with that same issue. I'm not afraid to voice my opinions to close friends, whom either agree with me or highly respect my point of view. I struggle the hardest to voice my opinion at work, especially because the culture here can be rather judgmental of people who don't live life fitted to a particular mold. (Though I continue to work here because I do love the actual work
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The teenagers that you are afraid of may be more wholesome than the people you're choosing to be near. In high school, I dressed like that -- well, maybe I dressed even "scarier" than the people you're avoiding -- but I was a very nice, harmless, clean-cut kid. This applied also to most of my friends, who -- though some made poor choices about substance abuse -- would never accost a stranger and had a strong moral compass regarding violence and kindness to others.
Take, for instance, my friend E--. He was a huge guy, dressed gothic, with wild, curly hair, mutton chops and a tongue ring. He was a veritable Hulk even without his big boots on. He came trotting up to an old lady in a parking lot, who was extremely alarmed to see him standing there... offering to help her put her groceries into the car. :)
I'm not saying you shouldn't trust your gut. Sometimes we have intuitive feelings that I don't feel we should ignore. But sometimes looks can be deceiving. :)
Yep, that's why I mentioned in my post that "not to say the latter wouldn't do the same, but generally based on what the media tells us which is all I have to go by
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Well, I think that being biased in the social sphere is different from being biased when you're dealing with your safety. While weird frottage perverts seem to tend to be well-dressed, muggers seem to tend not to be.
I don't think it's wrong for you to get on the train car with clean-cut people if only because they're similar to you in appearance -- you aren't obvious there and maybe less likely to be targeted? Whereas when you're the one tidy-looking person in a train car full of people who dress in a more alternative or aggressive manner, you are more apparent and sort of the odd man out?
It is a tough situation to consider, but maybe "sticking with your tribe" is the best way to be safe.
But again, if this person is not a close friend and I suspect they will not be respective of my views, I find it better to ignore them and excuse myself and not subject myself that that sort of "mental torture".
That really resonated with me.
And as for your dilemma you presented... to sit with those who appear less suspect is a false sense of security. However, if I presumed everyone to be potentially harmful I wouldn't make it pass the front door!
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Take, for instance, my friend E--. He was a huge guy, dressed gothic, with wild, curly hair, mutton chops and a tongue ring. He was a veritable Hulk even without his big boots on. He came trotting up to an old lady in a parking lot, who was extremely alarmed to see him standing there... offering to help her put her groceries into the car. :)
I'm not saying you shouldn't trust your gut. Sometimes we have intuitive feelings that I don't feel we should ignore. But sometimes looks can be deceiving. :)
Reply
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I don't think it's wrong for you to get on the train car with clean-cut people if only because they're similar to you in appearance -- you aren't obvious there and maybe less likely to be targeted? Whereas when you're the one tidy-looking person in a train car full of people who dress in a more alternative or aggressive manner, you are more apparent and sort of the odd man out?
It is a tough situation to consider, but maybe "sticking with your tribe" is the best way to be safe.
Reply
That really resonated with me.
And as for your dilemma you presented... to sit with those who appear less suspect is a false sense of security. However, if I presumed everyone to be potentially harmful I wouldn't make it pass the front door!
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