I find this comment very disrespectful. It assumes that 1) I'm doing something 'to' Ben, rather than WITH Ben; 2) you have the right to judge whether or not it is fair/right; 3) that it is not fair/right and therefore I am treating Ben unkindly; and 4) that I and my partner did not pray enough about this. I also find it disrespectful that you speak to me after a long absence and your only 'concern' is that I may be acting in a way that is unfair/'wrong.' If you were friends with Ben and saw the affect it had on zir life and it seemed negative to you, THEN you would be able to claim legitimate concern and say "hey, this seems unfair because (reason)." As it is, you cannot possibly know, and you are making judgments based on ignorance, NOT speaking up out of true concern. You can't be truly concerned about something that you do not know/understand -- you can only be worried because of the judgments you have made.
You do not know me. If something about my life seems 'off' to you, then you may humbly ask questions in order to try and understand. It is very disrespectful for you to come into my life, judge me, and tell me that you feel I am being unfair or 'wrong' and should pray about it. If you WERE seeking understanding, then you might have said something like this:
"Your beliefs/lifestyle make me uncomfortable, and I would like to ask some questions if that is okay with you. Do you believe that it is okay for a Christian to be bisexual? In what ways does this affect Ben? Have you prayed a lot about this?"
And then I would have felt questioned but still respected, and I would have happily explained why I believe that Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit has absolutely no problem with same-sex or polyamorous relationships, the ways it affects Ben (which are overwhelmingly positive), and how I prayed/listened/communicated for over a year before becoming actively polyamorous.
Instead, I feel upset at being judged and disrespected, and I don't want to have a dialogue because I feel that you will not listen, since you did not ask.
You do not know me. If something about my life seems 'off' to you, then you may humbly ask questions in order to try and understand. It is very disrespectful for you to come into my life, judge me, and tell me that you feel I am being unfair or 'wrong' and should pray about it. If you WERE seeking understanding, then you might have said something like this:
"Your beliefs/lifestyle make me uncomfortable, and I would like to ask some questions if that is okay with you. Do you believe that it is okay for a Christian to be bisexual? In what ways does this affect Ben? Have you prayed a lot about this?"
And then I would have felt questioned but still respected, and I would have happily explained why I believe that Jesus/God/the Holy Spirit has absolutely no problem with same-sex or polyamorous relationships, the ways it affects Ben (which are overwhelmingly positive), and how I prayed/listened/communicated for over a year before becoming actively polyamorous.
Instead, I feel upset at being judged and disrespected, and I don't want to have a dialogue because I feel that you will not listen, since you did not ask.
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