As I've mentioned before, I absolutely believe that what you call 'permanence' is possible, if two people put their minds to it. (And assuming the world isn't filled with war or anything crazy.) Personally, I think people are too willing to give up on other people. If it's not perfect, bye. If there were fewer humans around, people wouldn't be so flighty.
Do you not find that honesty can often conflict with caring for someone? Even if you are tactfully honest, you will end up hurting people. And if you care about two people deeply, there will be moments when you have to choose who to be more honest to, or less honest to - like if they confide something about the other in you. How do you personally deal with that when it comes to 'soul friendships' (which I call something more like socratic love).
I agree that people are often of the "dump it and get a new one" persuasion, and that we as a group should try to fix things more often. I do think it is always possible to have a permanent relationship, but it is not always possible to maintain a soulfriendship
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I've always loved your definition of soulfriendship. While I don't necessarily think that things need to be connected to a definition, I think that many people don't really consider what is important to them in a relationsip before they get themselves into one when it's too late to "get out" unscathed. Friendship, to me, should always be purposeful.
I totally agree that friendship should always be purposeful!
And I don't think that things need a definition in order to have love, but I think that committed relationships do need definition so that both people are on the same page. You can do it without the definition, of course, but then you need very strong intuition -- you both have to be perfectly synced up for that to work. If you're out of sync in mind (definition) or heart (intuition), misunderstandings and other division comes in.
I think you define all of these things very well. I agre with everything, but especially "honesty".
Many people just speak the words without ever stopping to think what they mean. In my opinion you can't go about proclaiming values you haven't even defined for yourself. For example, so many people say that they value honesty, but it shines through that they've never thought what kind of things honesty concernes and what kind of actions/sacrifices demands of them.
In my opinion you can't go about proclaiming values you haven't even defined for yourself. For example, so many people say that they value honesty, but it shines through that they've never thought what kind of things honesty concernes and what kind of actions/sacrifices demands of them.
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Do you not find that honesty can often conflict with caring for someone? Even if you are tactfully honest, you will end up hurting people. And if you care about two people deeply, there will be moments when you have to choose who to be more honest to, or less honest to - like if they confide something about the other in you. How do you personally deal with that when it comes to 'soul friendships' (which I call something more like socratic love).
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i think you should do a more reminiscent style post for lj idol. something that includes these points in a more story telling type of way.
i enjoy the way you write and i think you could put it together in a way that tells a story, while explaining your points.
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And I don't think that things need a definition in order to have love, but I think that committed relationships do need definition so that both people are on the same page. You can do it without the definition, of course, but then you need very strong intuition -- you both have to be perfectly synced up for that to work. If you're out of sync in mind (definition) or heart (intuition), misunderstandings and other division comes in.
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As in a comment to your sexual ethics entry, I fully understand and appreciate the importance of having a soulfriend.
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Many people just speak the words without ever stopping to think what they mean. In my opinion you can't go about proclaiming values you haven't even defined for yourself. For example, so many people say that they value honesty, but it shines through that they've never thought what kind of things honesty concernes and what kind of actions/sacrifices demands of them.
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I SO agree! You stated that very well.
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