Comments | belenen: deep confusion/stress/pain/worry/hopelessness about marriage/finances/direction

belenen

deep confusion/stress/pain/worry/hopelessness about marriage/finances/direction

Jan 01, 2006 09:45

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b - ex-partner, money, spirituality, pain

Comments 29

lorelei_sakti January 6 2006, 15:42:46 UTC

I wish you could take a break from working, too. It's so hard these days, in this economy. The man is rarely the primary breadwinner anymore. It's so tiring. Not being able to get loans and credit must be extremely frustrating. I can't imagine what you're going through.

Maybe the stress of all this financial mess is affecting your marriage now. Money can do that to relationships, even the best of them.

belenen February 1 2006, 06:55:58 UTC

I think it has had a significant impact -- but I think it's also because we have just hit that point where the shiny fun has worn off and we have to build our love rather than have it sorta take care of itself. But we're both willing to change, and that is the important thing.

acid_burns January 6 2006, 15:47:43 UTC

*hugsyou*

belenen February 1 2006, 07:00:49 UTC

*hugsback*

wandrlost January 6 2006, 16:04:10 UTC

yeah... i've been living without a safety net an a large quantity of debt from university for years... and it just keeps me perpetually stressed. funny how money can totally screw us up.

hm...

actually, not funny at all.

belenen February 1 2006, 07:01:15 UTC

I agree, not funny at all!

genesiskenshin January 6 2006, 16:30:43 UTC

If you have experience with kids, try to be a nannny, it pays more and less stress.

belenen February 1 2006, 07:01:47 UTC

hmm, that is a good point. Maybe I will look into that again.

paravati January 6 2006, 16:44:41 UTC

I'm sorry, hon. I know what that feels like. I was the primary breadwinner for a long time in my previous relationship, and it really sucked for me. I would rather have stayed home and taken care of the house and kids while my man went out and made the money. It was a really hard thing to go out and support everyone solely through my own efforts. It just felt wrong; considering how I had been raised.

I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling that way at all. All you need is a partner who is willing to support you in that way. Is Ben not willing to do that, or can you not survive on his income alone?

belenen February 1 2006, 07:05:05 UTC

Oh, he's totally willing -- and we could scrape by on his income, but it would be very very difficult and we wouldn't be able to save a penny or have even the smallest non-essentials. And oddly, I don't mind working, I just hate NEEDING to work. *shrug* But Ben's considering going into management, which would pay much more, so we'll see how that goes.