Time marches on...
I am absolutely amazed. For many reasons. Partly because of where I am, partly because I'm here at all (22 seemed ancient not 10 years ago lol). Partly because of who I am, partly because of who I used to be...
Yesterday was my second annual Texa-versary. 2 years. Fuck me. I never would have guessed. I can remember, on August 20th, 2005, sitting in my old car, Alfie, my little TV on the passenger seat next to me, every other worldly possession of my own spread out on the seats behind me or packed in the trunk. We had to take separate cars because there was only room for one in my car (the driver) and only room for two in his (he being the driver, his friend the navigator). I remember being dead silent. I was terrified. We left the house we were staying at and headed up what I now know to be Lamar... at the time I just thought it was "fucking big road, 1 of 1000". Then he went through a yellow light that I had to stop for. And I sat there, not knowing where I was, where I was going, or even the slightest idea where to go once the light actually turned green. I just sobbed. It was sheer terror... I grew up in a town that, only after I left, became "cool" enough for a Denny's. I don't know that "intimidated" covers the emotion I had that first week here.
Now, nearly every time I head south on Lamar I drive through the intersection that reduced me to tears that first day. And I smile to myself. If it hadn't been for the will of proving to everyone that I could make it out here I would have damn near given up two years ago lol. But I survived. What's more; I thrived. I have an incredible job, amazing friends and a wonderful new relationship. It's like I'm an actual fucking grown up. Who'd ever have guessed? Certainly not me...
In any case, about 10 hours ago I got this in commemoration of the milestone:
Outline -
Completed Perfection -
Why a large Koi? Why on my leg? Well, a friend suggested I just make up new reasons to get a tattoo.. he may be right, but it's amazing how each new piece takes on a life of it's own. Regardless of why I wanted this, what inspired me to get it, whatever justification I can make up in my head, I got it. And the reasons I have make perfect sense to me whether anyone else "gets" them or not...
For starters, I love fish. I love water. It's part of my very being. Goldfish are my "Urban Totem" animal and I've always enjoyed fish - from the simple fish bowl at home to the koi tanks in chinese restaurants to the national aquarium - I could watch them cut through the water for hours on end. When I began contemplating a new tattoo I began thinking of the different aspects of me that are reflected in my art: my spirituality, my heritage, my passion for language, my love of music, even my dog. These are all parts of me that are literally under my skin forever now. But, as much as I love tattoos, as much as the sound of the tattoo gun, the smell of the soap, the feel of burning litterally makes my heart feel as though it could beat out of my chest, I had no tattoo to commemorate my love of tattoos. So, I decided I would only slightly customize this one (all the others have been 99% custom drawn, just for me) and get some "traditional" tattoo flash. And the koi seemed the most natural fit. I like fish, I like water, I like the style and it's a pretty traditional tattoo design. So I started to research the meaning behind the imagery; I will never get something inked on me without know what it stands for....
When I started researching koi tattoos I found that the koi as a symbol represents perseverance in the face of adversity and strength of character or purpose. It can also represent wisdom, knowledge, longevity, and loyalty. In the Buddhist religion it represents courage, believing that Humans 'swim' through the 'ocean of suffering' without fear, just like a fish swims through water. Then I found that even the direction in which the fish is swimming has meaning: if the koi in the tattoo is shown swimming upstream, it can be used to mean that there are still many struggles to overcome, whereas a koi swimming downstream implies that there have been many difficulties already faced and overcome. I could not pick a more perfect tattoo to encompass my wants in this case. It's traditional and the meanings behind it are practically the embodiment of my time here in Austin.
Finally, location. The majority of my ink is on my left arm, but this needed a space all it's own. It's a symbol of strength, so the strongest part of me seemed a natural fit - my calf. My legs are the most muscle I have. I can push anything with my legs and (fittingly enough for the person I am), if I want to stand and hold my ground it's damn near impossible to move me :) But, as with all of my work, it is in a location that can be shown off or covered up, depending on the situation. I put it on the right just because my frog is also on the right leg (maybe I'll just keep building on the left arm/right leg to keep things balanced? haha).
Right now I'm at work. It's still delightfully oozy, but every time I look at it I like it just a little more than the last glance...
Yesterday was my second annual Texa-versary. 2 years. Fuck me. I never would have guessed. I can remember, on August 20th, 2005, sitting in my old car, Alfie, my little TV on the passenger seat next to me, every other worldly possession of my own spread out on the seats behind me or packed in the trunk. We had to take separate cars because there was only room for one in my car (the driver) and only room for two in his (he being the driver, his friend the navigator). I remember being dead silent. I was terrified. We left the house we were staying at and headed up what I now know to be Lamar... at the time I just thought it was "fucking big road, 1 of 1000". Then he went through a yellow light that I had to stop for. And I sat there, not knowing where I was, where I was going, or even the slightest idea where to go once the light actually turned green. I just sobbed. It was sheer terror... I grew up in a town that, only after I left, became "cool" enough for a Denny's. I don't know that "intimidated" covers the emotion I had that first week here.
Now, nearly every time I head south on Lamar I drive through the intersection that reduced me to tears that first day. And I smile to myself. If it hadn't been for the will of proving to everyone that I could make it out here I would have damn near given up two years ago lol. But I survived. What's more; I thrived. I have an incredible job, amazing friends and a wonderful new relationship. It's like I'm an actual fucking grown up. Who'd ever have guessed? Certainly not me...
In any case, about 10 hours ago I got this in commemoration of the milestone:
Outline -
Completed Perfection -
Why a large Koi? Why on my leg? Well, a friend suggested I just make up new reasons to get a tattoo.. he may be right, but it's amazing how each new piece takes on a life of it's own. Regardless of why I wanted this, what inspired me to get it, whatever justification I can make up in my head, I got it. And the reasons I have make perfect sense to me whether anyone else "gets" them or not...
For starters, I love fish. I love water. It's part of my very being. Goldfish are my "Urban Totem" animal and I've always enjoyed fish - from the simple fish bowl at home to the koi tanks in chinese restaurants to the national aquarium - I could watch them cut through the water for hours on end. When I began contemplating a new tattoo I began thinking of the different aspects of me that are reflected in my art: my spirituality, my heritage, my passion for language, my love of music, even my dog. These are all parts of me that are literally under my skin forever now. But, as much as I love tattoos, as much as the sound of the tattoo gun, the smell of the soap, the feel of burning litterally makes my heart feel as though it could beat out of my chest, I had no tattoo to commemorate my love of tattoos. So, I decided I would only slightly customize this one (all the others have been 99% custom drawn, just for me) and get some "traditional" tattoo flash. And the koi seemed the most natural fit. I like fish, I like water, I like the style and it's a pretty traditional tattoo design. So I started to research the meaning behind the imagery; I will never get something inked on me without know what it stands for....
When I started researching koi tattoos I found that the koi as a symbol represents perseverance in the face of adversity and strength of character or purpose. It can also represent wisdom, knowledge, longevity, and loyalty. In the Buddhist religion it represents courage, believing that Humans 'swim' through the 'ocean of suffering' without fear, just like a fish swims through water. Then I found that even the direction in which the fish is swimming has meaning: if the koi in the tattoo is shown swimming upstream, it can be used to mean that there are still many struggles to overcome, whereas a koi swimming downstream implies that there have been many difficulties already faced and overcome. I could not pick a more perfect tattoo to encompass my wants in this case. It's traditional and the meanings behind it are practically the embodiment of my time here in Austin.
Finally, location. The majority of my ink is on my left arm, but this needed a space all it's own. It's a symbol of strength, so the strongest part of me seemed a natural fit - my calf. My legs are the most muscle I have. I can push anything with my legs and (fittingly enough for the person I am), if I want to stand and hold my ground it's damn near impossible to move me :) But, as with all of my work, it is in a location that can be shown off or covered up, depending on the situation. I put it on the right just because my frog is also on the right leg (maybe I'll just keep building on the left arm/right leg to keep things balanced? haha).
Right now I'm at work. It's still delightfully oozy, but every time I look at it I like it just a little more than the last glance...