A-D-D
So it's 1/30 and I do not have a draft of my grant proposal. Well... I dunno. I have a document that I wrote up for my advisor in which I outline the things that I know and the things that I do not know. I think for this to be a real grant proposal I'd need to
a) know what the hell i'm doing
b) write up a background section
I'm giving lab meeting on Friday (got an extension... didn't ask for it but gladly took it) and I keep getting distracted when I try to write it. I'm not going in to lab today... I'm going to sit in the science library until I have something written. I'd also like to start working on that background for my grant proposal. I need to finish up some paperwork that's due for 2/1 to the grad school. I think I just have the courses form to go... did the rest back at the end of November.
To be honest, I just don't know. I had a meeting with my advisor last week about my presentation skills. They're not the best and I've been trying to improve them by giving a talk at the end of each lab meeting about a figure from a paper I found interesting (well I tend to pick papers relevant to my project instead of interesting... but yeah). My major flaws are that I talk too quickly and speak too casually about the information I'm presenting (and no I'm not looking for advise... hearing what and how someone else does this is not going to help me get better... it's going to be a matter of practice and critical thinking). We also talked about what makes a good grad student. I don't know if she brought it up because she thinks I'm a bad grad student or if she was just bringing it up. There's no way to know. She said that she thinks a good grad student doesn't have to be brilliant (she paused to say that she doesn't think I'm stupid should I read something into that? ><; but that a good grad student needs to be driven and focused. I sort of feel that I am neither driven nor focused. I'm kind of lost and easily distracted. You're supposed to want a Ph.D. ... that's where the drive comes from and I guess I do want one but I'm not sure of what I want to do after I get one and that makes me not know if I want one.
I want to be driven but I'm not... and I'm not sure how to get myself driven. I usually work best when I'm under pressure and there'll be lots of pressure/if I wait til tomorrow/I should start writing now. so maybe if I make some self imposed deadlines that will help. I've tried doing it for this presentation and it didn't help >.>;; so yeah I just don't know.
P.S. Ekaterinn did you make it home ok? I tried to answer your phone call that day but you hung up when I answered and last week I was really tired from mouse duty.
a) know what the hell i'm doing
b) write up a background section
I'm giving lab meeting on Friday (got an extension... didn't ask for it but gladly took it) and I keep getting distracted when I try to write it. I'm not going in to lab today... I'm going to sit in the science library until I have something written. I'd also like to start working on that background for my grant proposal. I need to finish up some paperwork that's due for 2/1 to the grad school. I think I just have the courses form to go... did the rest back at the end of November.
To be honest, I just don't know. I had a meeting with my advisor last week about my presentation skills. They're not the best and I've been trying to improve them by giving a talk at the end of each lab meeting about a figure from a paper I found interesting (well I tend to pick papers relevant to my project instead of interesting... but yeah). My major flaws are that I talk too quickly and speak too casually about the information I'm presenting (and no I'm not looking for advise... hearing what and how someone else does this is not going to help me get better... it's going to be a matter of practice and critical thinking). We also talked about what makes a good grad student. I don't know if she brought it up because she thinks I'm a bad grad student or if she was just bringing it up. There's no way to know. She said that she thinks a good grad student doesn't have to be brilliant (she paused to say that she doesn't think I'm stupid should I read something into that? ><; but that a good grad student needs to be driven and focused. I sort of feel that I am neither driven nor focused. I'm kind of lost and easily distracted. You're supposed to want a Ph.D. ... that's where the drive comes from and I guess I do want one but I'm not sure of what I want to do after I get one and that makes me not know if I want one.
I want to be driven but I'm not... and I'm not sure how to get myself driven. I usually work best when I'm under pressure and there'll be lots of pressure/if I wait til tomorrow/I should start writing now. so maybe if I make some self imposed deadlines that will help. I've tried doing it for this presentation and it didn't help >.>;; so yeah I just don't know.
P.S. Ekaterinn did you make it home ok? I tried to answer your phone call that day but you hung up when I answered and last week I was really tired from mouse duty.