Already Stressed
Originally published at Soft Spoken. Please leave any comments there.
I must have some like weird brain disorder or something. I get so stressed so easily and I don’t know why. Like the smallest thing seems to stress me out. Maybe it’s because I try to think about too much at once, or because I over complicate stuff. Probably both. But I mean this early into school I shouldn’t be as stressed as I’m feeling right now. I mean seriously. We started classes a week ago. We’ve only really actually been doing work in class since Monday (it’s Wednesday now). We did pretty much nothing last week, just orientation. I’m already feeling really stressed and I shouldn’t. I have a small 80 word assignment due tomorrow and some reading that I should have done by Monday. When I say it I think to myself, What’s the big deal?! Why am I feeling so overwhelmed? It just makes no sense to me why I’m feeling so stressed out. When I’m in class I’m fine but when I go back to my room in res, and I actually start thinking about what I need to do I just get this feeling of anxiety. An other people go out and party and or take care of their families or whatever, but I sit in my room all night panicking about one small assignment and end up doing absolutely nothing on it and I don’t understand why. When I was trying to read some stuff in a text book the other day I just could not focus on it. At first I thought it was because of the noises outside my room, from my roommates, which really wasn’t that bad. So I put on my iPod, which usually helps me. I used to do it all the time when the dogs were being loud and I’d be fine. But it just would not work. I read 4 pages and could not remember a single work I had just read 5 seconds after I’ve read it. This doesn’t happen all the time, but a lot of the time. I was constantly having this problem all through high school and even in elementary school, going right back to grade 1. And here I am in College, taking all courses that are actually interesting to me and I want to learn about, and I’m still having the exact same problem. I don’t understand it. It’s going to drive me insane, I swear.