Half-Time
Hey
I guess you must be wondering what the basketball reference is for. well its simply because I have been watching to much One Tree Hill lately,LOL . I have missed you journal. I haven't spent much time writing in you after Durham and that is mostly because it brings so many hurtful memories forward. I feel that every time I write here I am making a proclamation that I may or may not uphold in the future. Its like a documentary of my achievements and failures all in one spot for every one to see. I should be ashamed I guess. I should be saying things like I wish I did this and I wish I did that. I should be mad that I am not done school yet and that I am at a job I hate and that I am nose deep in debt. I should be angry and hurt and sad. I should be all those things but I am not and I don't feel that way completely. I know these negative things are there and that in some way or form they have shaped me but I try to not let them take me any longer. I have tried so hard this year to lighten my burden and all it requires is that I spare a little time. I have gone back to school again but this time for business . I am completely out of my element. Its mind boggling really. I feel like I need to rewire my mind to something more practical then abstract. This concept bothers me a bit because I feel that if I get too absorbed in business I will lose myself in it . I am afraid that I will lose myself in all its conformity. I was never one to want to look the same or be the same. I loved the fact that I could express myself how I wanted. Business is more like a prison with all its rules. Actually it reminds me of high school.......and I hated high school. I guess I just want to get things done really. i want to go on my SWAP trip and I want to go with a diploma in hand. I want to be free. This year I am working full time and going to school full time. Its tiring of course but I do it because at the end of this tunnel I will have a diploma. Right now it is reading week and I am catching up on some much needed rest. I will also be doing some serious studying so I am not a zombie when we return to class. Are you equally as surprised that i didn't leave the country? I am; believe that. I wanted to visit Navi but money stopped me this time. Oh well once I am thorough this first year things will eb looking up. Oh boo I guess that was another proclamation wasn't it. Well since it has been stated , i can only say that I am going to put in a good fight to make sure it comes about. Wish me luck this time around
I guess you must be wondering what the basketball reference is for. well its simply because I have been watching to much One Tree Hill lately,LOL . I have missed you journal. I haven't spent much time writing in you after Durham and that is mostly because it brings so many hurtful memories forward. I feel that every time I write here I am making a proclamation that I may or may not uphold in the future. Its like a documentary of my achievements and failures all in one spot for every one to see. I should be ashamed I guess. I should be saying things like I wish I did this and I wish I did that. I should be mad that I am not done school yet and that I am at a job I hate and that I am nose deep in debt. I should be angry and hurt and sad. I should be all those things but I am not and I don't feel that way completely. I know these negative things are there and that in some way or form they have shaped me but I try to not let them take me any longer. I have tried so hard this year to lighten my burden and all it requires is that I spare a little time. I have gone back to school again but this time for business . I am completely out of my element. Its mind boggling really. I feel like I need to rewire my mind to something more practical then abstract. This concept bothers me a bit because I feel that if I get too absorbed in business I will lose myself in it . I am afraid that I will lose myself in all its conformity. I was never one to want to look the same or be the same. I loved the fact that I could express myself how I wanted. Business is more like a prison with all its rules. Actually it reminds me of high school.......and I hated high school. I guess I just want to get things done really. i want to go on my SWAP trip and I want to go with a diploma in hand. I want to be free. This year I am working full time and going to school full time. Its tiring of course but I do it because at the end of this tunnel I will have a diploma. Right now it is reading week and I am catching up on some much needed rest. I will also be doing some serious studying so I am not a zombie when we return to class. Are you equally as surprised that i didn't leave the country? I am; believe that. I wanted to visit Navi but money stopped me this time. Oh well once I am thorough this first year things will eb looking up. Oh boo I guess that was another proclamation wasn't it. Well since it has been stated , i can only say that I am going to put in a good fight to make sure it comes about. Wish me luck this time around