this is probably one of those things that was better last night...
I am writing this at 11:39 PM with Apple Works on July 10. This is my ingenious new method of journaling whenever I feel like it, defying the all-powerful internet shutter-offer. And it only took me over a year to figure it out.
So........ I’ve had an interesting day. I went to church. Well, it was sort of church. There was communion involved. I think. They didn’t call it that, though. It was more like juice and bread and somebody talking about how it symbolized humanity and oneness and peaceful stuff, etc. There were definitely some hymns, but some of the words had been changed. Like, in some songs, the Holy Spirit was referred to as female and we sang about being rocked in the bosom of Sarah. What does that song mean anyway? Even when it was about rocking in the bosom of Abraham I didn’t understand it. I mean, Abraham definitely didn’t have bosoms. I don’t think. Plus, he’s dead. So I’ve never really gotten much out of that song. Spiritually, that is. I don’t really spend my time wanting to be rocked in either of their bosoms.
But there were some interesting theories about good and evil. One man said that he had come to the conclusion that good must be equal to evil and that both exist inside himself. He talked about his childhood, relating it to the idea that there are parts of life and parts of ourselves that are evil and parts that are good. He stated that happiness was achieved, at least in his life, by accepting this fact and living with these two equally powerful forces in balance.
I’m sorry. I just don’t buy that. It really seems like a load of garbage to me. Not to be rude or superior or disrespectful; the guy was really nice and had obviously been through some tough times. On one hand, it’s pretty judgmental of me to say that he’s wrong. After all, he’s sixty and I’m seventeen. But he IS wrong. And, like it or not, I have the authority to say that. I HAVE to say that. But I’ll get back to him and why he had it wrong in a minute.
Lots of other people talked after the guy spoke, during the questions/comments segment. More ideas about good and evil. One man said that in his experience, there was good, evil, and bad. He thought that evil and bad were two different things, evil being worse than bad. Which I’m not sure about. I mean, whether you kill one person or 10 people, you’re still killing. Who’s to say which sin is worse except God Himself?
Others talked about good coming out of evil and how we ought to feel about that. A very cool person that I know used the example of Darth Vader to suggest that there is a bit of good in evil. That evil is good with a slight kink in it. At this point in the conversation, I was like, “YES! Someone’s on the right track!!! Hallelujah!!!!” But then, she went on to say that everything was God and that God was everywhere b/c there was good in everything and I was like, “No.............” Because, even though Darth Vader has a little bit of Anakin Skywalker left in him, he’s still killing children and blowing up planets and stuff. He’s still BAD. Having good in you does not make you good. It only makes you dangerous because you’re that much more deceptive. Only when Vader takes off the helmet and becomes Anakin again does he revert back to being good.
See, the thing about church was that there was something really missing. It was like all these people were talking about truth and God and goodness, (always in the “in my experience” perspective so as not to add the absolute truth factor) but they weren’t willing to look it in the face. To really ask God who He is. They said that they were looking for these things but in reality, I think most of them were trying to ignore them.
This is why: The first guy that spoke was wrong. As were all the others. There’s this disease and it’s got everybody. I happen to know about an antidote. Not because I’m better or deserve it in any way, shape or form. I have no idea why I have been given this authority. This cure. But enough about why I know what it is. (Or who it is, rather.) Lets talk about the thing itself.
The cure is a gradual thing. It doesn’t heal you of your disease overnight. You don’t just take it once. You take it over and over and over and over for years and years and years. It requires strict obedience to the Doctor’s orders and a willingness to get better. But you gradually get better until one day, you wake up and you’re completely healed. My greatest hope is to someday get completely better. For now, I’ve got to be content with the knowledge that I am, in fact, better than I was years ago. (Though not by much.)
But that’s why I’ve got to tell people when they’re wrong about this stuff. Because there’s more than my pride, or their pride, or politeness, or political correctness, or open-mindedness at stake. This is eternity we’re talking about. It’s a life or death situation in the most absolutely literal sense of the words.
But I was still chickening out. I was the odd person out at this church thing and they didn’t know it yet. I blended in pretty well, singing the songs and listening to everybody. So I didn’t say anything. I was like, “God, if I’m supposed to say something, I’ll wait until someone asks me to speak.” And all the while I was praying, over and over, “Give me strength, fill me with the Holy Spirit, speak through me, help me say the right things, let this be about You and not about me...” Etc. After everybody had had their say but me, the main guy acted like he was going to wrap it up. He asked if anybody had anything else to say. Well, then I was screwed. I knew I was going to have to speak up.
So I started off by saying that I felt awkward speaking about such important stuff in the midst of people who were older than me. Then I said that what the guy had been saying had resonated as being wrong to me. Or something to that effect. I told them about my theory that evil cannot be the opposite of good as it is sort of like a semisolid. I explained that the Darth Vader theory was true: evil starts out as something good and it becomes perverted. So it can’t be stronger than good. It’s like diluted good. A semisolid.
I told them that evil is like a very good, believable lie. Which makes sense, if you think about it, because Satan is the Liar of Liars. I told them that I agreed with what one guy had said when he talked about Christianity as being something screwed up and used for evil. But then I said that it is time that we stop modeling our lives on Christians and Christianity. I said that it was time we started modeling our lives on Christ. I talked about how Moses comes face to face with God Himself, and asks him the ultimate question that everyone asks at least once: “Who are You?”
And of course, God said, “I AM.” And that’s enough. Because we don’t have to know what good is to know that it’s worth following. What is good? Good is good. We know in our hearts that it’s worth fighting for. Why do we help the poor? Why do we build better relationships with our family members? Why do we try to be decent people? We don’t think about it. We just do it. We do the right thing because it’s the right thing. Not because we’ve decided that it’s profitable or something.
Good is stronger and better than evil, even when it’s not obvious, and we need to fight evil constantly and always, always, always work to become more like Christ. That’s what I told them, in so many words. It was probably a lot less articulate than that. I don’t remember. Only, I pulled too many bible references out of the air for it to have been me. I can’t take the credit. It must have been God answering my prayers for strength and the right words and all that.
“I AM” was all the explanation Moses needed to convert from being an Egyptian-killing runaway coward to the leader of the people of God. And, I might add, the Exodus of the Israelites to the Promised Land is a direct parallel of our own journeys to God, heaven, and ultimately, perfection.
So God IS. And He’s good. We know that. It’s obvious. The question is, are we going to follow Him? Even if that means fighting battles within ourselves, knowing that we might never truly triumph over evil within our lifetimes? Can we hold onto hope? If we do, we get a little better every day. And one day, we wake up and we’re in the Promised Land.
Also, we need to stop spending so much time talking about God and talk TO Him. But before we can do that, we must first admit that we are not good. That we have a disease and need a cure, however gradual and painful, because we want to pursue goodness. Then we need to declare that God is Lord and that He is good and best and strong. And then, we can ask Him directly, as Moses does, who He is. And if we earnestly seek God, He always answers.
And from then on, even if the road is not easy, we at least know the Way.
So that’s what I have to say.
So........ I’ve had an interesting day. I went to church. Well, it was sort of church. There was communion involved. I think. They didn’t call it that, though. It was more like juice and bread and somebody talking about how it symbolized humanity and oneness and peaceful stuff, etc. There were definitely some hymns, but some of the words had been changed. Like, in some songs, the Holy Spirit was referred to as female and we sang about being rocked in the bosom of Sarah. What does that song mean anyway? Even when it was about rocking in the bosom of Abraham I didn’t understand it. I mean, Abraham definitely didn’t have bosoms. I don’t think. Plus, he’s dead. So I’ve never really gotten much out of that song. Spiritually, that is. I don’t really spend my time wanting to be rocked in either of their bosoms.
But there were some interesting theories about good and evil. One man said that he had come to the conclusion that good must be equal to evil and that both exist inside himself. He talked about his childhood, relating it to the idea that there are parts of life and parts of ourselves that are evil and parts that are good. He stated that happiness was achieved, at least in his life, by accepting this fact and living with these two equally powerful forces in balance.
I’m sorry. I just don’t buy that. It really seems like a load of garbage to me. Not to be rude or superior or disrespectful; the guy was really nice and had obviously been through some tough times. On one hand, it’s pretty judgmental of me to say that he’s wrong. After all, he’s sixty and I’m seventeen. But he IS wrong. And, like it or not, I have the authority to say that. I HAVE to say that. But I’ll get back to him and why he had it wrong in a minute.
Lots of other people talked after the guy spoke, during the questions/comments segment. More ideas about good and evil. One man said that in his experience, there was good, evil, and bad. He thought that evil and bad were two different things, evil being worse than bad. Which I’m not sure about. I mean, whether you kill one person or 10 people, you’re still killing. Who’s to say which sin is worse except God Himself?
Others talked about good coming out of evil and how we ought to feel about that. A very cool person that I know used the example of Darth Vader to suggest that there is a bit of good in evil. That evil is good with a slight kink in it. At this point in the conversation, I was like, “YES! Someone’s on the right track!!! Hallelujah!!!!” But then, she went on to say that everything was God and that God was everywhere b/c there was good in everything and I was like, “No.............” Because, even though Darth Vader has a little bit of Anakin Skywalker left in him, he’s still killing children and blowing up planets and stuff. He’s still BAD. Having good in you does not make you good. It only makes you dangerous because you’re that much more deceptive. Only when Vader takes off the helmet and becomes Anakin again does he revert back to being good.
See, the thing about church was that there was something really missing. It was like all these people were talking about truth and God and goodness, (always in the “in my experience” perspective so as not to add the absolute truth factor) but they weren’t willing to look it in the face. To really ask God who He is. They said that they were looking for these things but in reality, I think most of them were trying to ignore them.
This is why: The first guy that spoke was wrong. As were all the others. There’s this disease and it’s got everybody. I happen to know about an antidote. Not because I’m better or deserve it in any way, shape or form. I have no idea why I have been given this authority. This cure. But enough about why I know what it is. (Or who it is, rather.) Lets talk about the thing itself.
The cure is a gradual thing. It doesn’t heal you of your disease overnight. You don’t just take it once. You take it over and over and over and over for years and years and years. It requires strict obedience to the Doctor’s orders and a willingness to get better. But you gradually get better until one day, you wake up and you’re completely healed. My greatest hope is to someday get completely better. For now, I’ve got to be content with the knowledge that I am, in fact, better than I was years ago. (Though not by much.)
But that’s why I’ve got to tell people when they’re wrong about this stuff. Because there’s more than my pride, or their pride, or politeness, or political correctness, or open-mindedness at stake. This is eternity we’re talking about. It’s a life or death situation in the most absolutely literal sense of the words.
But I was still chickening out. I was the odd person out at this church thing and they didn’t know it yet. I blended in pretty well, singing the songs and listening to everybody. So I didn’t say anything. I was like, “God, if I’m supposed to say something, I’ll wait until someone asks me to speak.” And all the while I was praying, over and over, “Give me strength, fill me with the Holy Spirit, speak through me, help me say the right things, let this be about You and not about me...” Etc. After everybody had had their say but me, the main guy acted like he was going to wrap it up. He asked if anybody had anything else to say. Well, then I was screwed. I knew I was going to have to speak up.
So I started off by saying that I felt awkward speaking about such important stuff in the midst of people who were older than me. Then I said that what the guy had been saying had resonated as being wrong to me. Or something to that effect. I told them about my theory that evil cannot be the opposite of good as it is sort of like a semisolid. I explained that the Darth Vader theory was true: evil starts out as something good and it becomes perverted. So it can’t be stronger than good. It’s like diluted good. A semisolid.
I told them that evil is like a very good, believable lie. Which makes sense, if you think about it, because Satan is the Liar of Liars. I told them that I agreed with what one guy had said when he talked about Christianity as being something screwed up and used for evil. But then I said that it is time that we stop modeling our lives on Christians and Christianity. I said that it was time we started modeling our lives on Christ. I talked about how Moses comes face to face with God Himself, and asks him the ultimate question that everyone asks at least once: “Who are You?”
And of course, God said, “I AM.” And that’s enough. Because we don’t have to know what good is to know that it’s worth following. What is good? Good is good. We know in our hearts that it’s worth fighting for. Why do we help the poor? Why do we build better relationships with our family members? Why do we try to be decent people? We don’t think about it. We just do it. We do the right thing because it’s the right thing. Not because we’ve decided that it’s profitable or something.
Good is stronger and better than evil, even when it’s not obvious, and we need to fight evil constantly and always, always, always work to become more like Christ. That’s what I told them, in so many words. It was probably a lot less articulate than that. I don’t remember. Only, I pulled too many bible references out of the air for it to have been me. I can’t take the credit. It must have been God answering my prayers for strength and the right words and all that.
“I AM” was all the explanation Moses needed to convert from being an Egyptian-killing runaway coward to the leader of the people of God. And, I might add, the Exodus of the Israelites to the Promised Land is a direct parallel of our own journeys to God, heaven, and ultimately, perfection.
So God IS. And He’s good. We know that. It’s obvious. The question is, are we going to follow Him? Even if that means fighting battles within ourselves, knowing that we might never truly triumph over evil within our lifetimes? Can we hold onto hope? If we do, we get a little better every day. And one day, we wake up and we’re in the Promised Land.
Also, we need to stop spending so much time talking about God and talk TO Him. But before we can do that, we must first admit that we are not good. That we have a disease and need a cure, however gradual and painful, because we want to pursue goodness. Then we need to declare that God is Lord and that He is good and best and strong. And then, we can ask Him directly, as Moses does, who He is. And if we earnestly seek God, He always answers.
And from then on, even if the road is not easy, we at least know the Way.
So that’s what I have to say.