nononononononononononono
Depressed this morning. Depressed last night. Depressed some of yesterday morning too. Worried about "infecting" my wife. Lacking emotional resiliency which I am largely linking to fasting. Terminating fasting until I either have my head on better or Saturday morning (at which point the fast is over anyhow), whichever comes first. I don't like being like this. Right now I feel ashamed and like I am failing in my fast because my mind is too sick to handle it. My body kind of feels like it wants to cry, but I'm at work and I have customers to talk to or email, and I just can't do it. Not here. I feel way vulnerable right now. My self-esteem is a mess. I just want to sit in a tiny room alone and do mindfulness exercises, but that isn't happening. I want to type more, but I've got nothing else to say right now. Goddamn psycho-emotional triggers. Goddamn frailty.