(no subject)
can't overdose on my pills. that's good news since i have to take so many to sleep. doctors wont give me a lot so i have to wait a lot of sleepless nights so i can get one night of real good sleep. tonight is that night. its been good so far and i dont want to spoil it by being awake all night again.
getting to know my neighbors. or really just showing up and watching tv with them. but im ok with that. baby steps. tomorrow, french fries. i hope they stay at home.
in my latrine a few days ago someone killed a spider and its like one i've never seen. it looks like tim burton made it. its center is perfectly round and fuzzy, it looks like those little puffy balls you use with crafts as a kid and it has thin legs. i mean, it almost looks adorable. it's dead, that might help. i certainly like it better than the one i killed last week. one of the big really flat ones. ugh. the move so creepy along the wall. and they are so thin! but look hefty!
cant wait til monday. and then tuesday. kumasi kumasi. oreos and chad. just what the doctor ordered.
i keep thinking about how long ill be here. or how short. its weird how often i go between the two. time goes by slowly and quickly. sort of strange, really. sometimes i feel like i've gone back in time, hanging my clothes on the line, using rain water for everything. and sometimes i feel like i'm too connected to the present, with facebook and bbc news online. american films on tv. when i watch commercials i see a glaring difference between the homes of the actors and the homes of real people. then again, i live in a vacation area, so there are some huge ass houses here. nate and i are going to make friends with some rich people. both of us already have. but then i have dora, who can't afford bread or to send her kids to school. all these contradictions. and they put 2 of us here, on this vacation ridge.
when it's all said and done, im really happy with my situation thus far. the loneliness will go away with time and once the students get back ill have all kinds of new friends watching me always. once school starts and then a month later actually starts, ill have a real purpose and im considering blowing these kids' minds. i have science on my side. sure they'll learn the 50 ways to rear cattle, but i could see, talking to kwame today, that genetics and evolution are not given enough attention. if i phrase it right and place it in my lessons, i think i can actually get some of them interested. i wouldn't be if all i learned was agriculture like they do. but DNA? shit, that stuff is awesome and mind blowing. i can tell them we share most of our DNA with monkeys and i know it because i physically compared them myself. plus, they're catholic, pope's people say evolution is ok.
and man do i like being buddhist. its gotten me out of a lot of 5 hour church sessions. and when youth try to argue using the bible as their weapon, i pull the buddhist card and they don't even know what to do. i heard during training that one of the jons had to explain to them what jewish people are. jews! ah missionaries really did their work here, nearly every single school is religious. private, public, doesn't matter.
it catches me off guard when people say things like "by god's grace" and "i pray that god blesses you" and what not. i mean, yeah, thanks, but i'm pretty sure the big guy/girl has more important things to do like watch galaxies being created.
there was a case we learned about at our counterpart workshops where a volunteer found a 5 year old in a shed, being fed scrapes and not being bathed because she had the devil inside of her, according to her caretakers. they asked us what we would do, and the ghanaians wanted to impart that you can't just go around stomping on people's beliefs. and i respect that, but if i believe a child's life is in danger, in all kindness, fuck you. i said i'd get that kid outta there fast. they said the volunteer just secretly fed her and bathed her until authorities took care of it. me and another girl were surprised by this sort of "it'll happen, she'll be ok eventually" attitude. if i inherited anything from my mother, it's compassion, especially towards kids.
i ramble, soon enough ill be a log sleeping on that horribly uncomfortable mattress. i'll need a chiropractor when i get back :)
getting to know my neighbors. or really just showing up and watching tv with them. but im ok with that. baby steps. tomorrow, french fries. i hope they stay at home.
in my latrine a few days ago someone killed a spider and its like one i've never seen. it looks like tim burton made it. its center is perfectly round and fuzzy, it looks like those little puffy balls you use with crafts as a kid and it has thin legs. i mean, it almost looks adorable. it's dead, that might help. i certainly like it better than the one i killed last week. one of the big really flat ones. ugh. the move so creepy along the wall. and they are so thin! but look hefty!
cant wait til monday. and then tuesday. kumasi kumasi. oreos and chad. just what the doctor ordered.
i keep thinking about how long ill be here. or how short. its weird how often i go between the two. time goes by slowly and quickly. sort of strange, really. sometimes i feel like i've gone back in time, hanging my clothes on the line, using rain water for everything. and sometimes i feel like i'm too connected to the present, with facebook and bbc news online. american films on tv. when i watch commercials i see a glaring difference between the homes of the actors and the homes of real people. then again, i live in a vacation area, so there are some huge ass houses here. nate and i are going to make friends with some rich people. both of us already have. but then i have dora, who can't afford bread or to send her kids to school. all these contradictions. and they put 2 of us here, on this vacation ridge.
when it's all said and done, im really happy with my situation thus far. the loneliness will go away with time and once the students get back ill have all kinds of new friends watching me always. once school starts and then a month later actually starts, ill have a real purpose and im considering blowing these kids' minds. i have science on my side. sure they'll learn the 50 ways to rear cattle, but i could see, talking to kwame today, that genetics and evolution are not given enough attention. if i phrase it right and place it in my lessons, i think i can actually get some of them interested. i wouldn't be if all i learned was agriculture like they do. but DNA? shit, that stuff is awesome and mind blowing. i can tell them we share most of our DNA with monkeys and i know it because i physically compared them myself. plus, they're catholic, pope's people say evolution is ok.
and man do i like being buddhist. its gotten me out of a lot of 5 hour church sessions. and when youth try to argue using the bible as their weapon, i pull the buddhist card and they don't even know what to do. i heard during training that one of the jons had to explain to them what jewish people are. jews! ah missionaries really did their work here, nearly every single school is religious. private, public, doesn't matter.
it catches me off guard when people say things like "by god's grace" and "i pray that god blesses you" and what not. i mean, yeah, thanks, but i'm pretty sure the big guy/girl has more important things to do like watch galaxies being created.
there was a case we learned about at our counterpart workshops where a volunteer found a 5 year old in a shed, being fed scrapes and not being bathed because she had the devil inside of her, according to her caretakers. they asked us what we would do, and the ghanaians wanted to impart that you can't just go around stomping on people's beliefs. and i respect that, but if i believe a child's life is in danger, in all kindness, fuck you. i said i'd get that kid outta there fast. they said the volunteer just secretly fed her and bathed her until authorities took care of it. me and another girl were surprised by this sort of "it'll happen, she'll be ok eventually" attitude. if i inherited anything from my mother, it's compassion, especially towards kids.
i ramble, soon enough ill be a log sleeping on that horribly uncomfortable mattress. i'll need a chiropractor when i get back :)