I hate nature. Now, you give me a beer and a woman and I'll give this water bed a work out.

[beergutsnriots]

There is a huge lump of blankets in my bed. His name is David and he keeps freaking out and thrashing hard and some weird Mexican voices keep calling my phone and not speaking english. That sucks. Not speaking english is lame. There is a stench coming from my bed. It smells like men. My boyfriend is a man and he just proved it. Tomorrow we are going to get a tiny kitten all the way from Puyallup. It will live in David's house and it will probably have some totally kvlt elite black metal as fuck name, but I will cuddle him no matter what.
This is the last weekend that I will have a normal, daytime boyfriend. When the clock strikes monday he will transform into a super human nokturnal mortum grim as fuck vampire, and I will have no one to sleep next to. At least I will have kitten and at least he will make money.
Life is weird. I'm an adult. I need a job, some voter's registration, a handful of titties and a husband.
Responsibility will be whack, but at least I have tattoos.