Sweet Sappho, That's Gay!
Just got my confirmation from Mrs. Fancypants herself that we are going out tomorrow night! Anyone looking for hot lesbian action tomorrow around 10pm is welcome to join us at Girl4Girl...I'm just sorry that I missed Lick on Thursday night and Hot Mess tonight. It just FELT like a girl-on-girl weekend, ya know? Anyways, I'm rounding up the vaginas-only troops and heading out for some serious flirting and even LESS serious bonding! Ah, intimacy...how I smite thee. No really, I'm excited to hang with the girls, go out for some cheap chow, dress like sluts, stay out late and get into trouble. By "trouble", I mean the mild-mannered troubles of a virginal librarian, not some cheap Korean prostitute-type trouble. I'm vanilla now. I'm done with the vanilla-chocolate-hot-tamale-Jim Beam-laden trouble with popped cherries on top. DONE.
I also get to meet, during dinner tomorrow eve, the father of my best gay. Being a devoted hag and neighbor to my queer-eyed one and only takes dedication, alcohol (on his part), and fairly low expectations; I'm looking forward to seeing the figurative loins he sprang forth from, and asking the pertinent question of, "but WHY?"...and THEN...Sunday is the quintessential ugly bridal shower, 1950's-themed, for an old girlfriend from yonder...'yonder' being highschool, which I had hoped to just forget about and let go into the recesses of Hell. But NO! These bitches have to keep marrying and breeding, marrying and breeding. It's like keeping cows around, or horses, or rabbits. Some kind of animal I don't like, THAT'S what it's like. Haven't even bought a gift. I'm still self-centered enough to think that my showing up there is a gift unto itself, thank you very much. Whatev. I gotta get up in 4 hours, what the fuck am I still doing up?
Time for some ZEES.
I also get to meet, during dinner tomorrow eve, the father of my best gay. Being a devoted hag and neighbor to my queer-eyed one and only takes dedication, alcohol (on his part), and fairly low expectations; I'm looking forward to seeing the figurative loins he sprang forth from, and asking the pertinent question of, "but WHY?"...and THEN...Sunday is the quintessential ugly bridal shower, 1950's-themed, for an old girlfriend from yonder...'yonder' being highschool, which I had hoped to just forget about and let go into the recesses of Hell. But NO! These bitches have to keep marrying and breeding, marrying and breeding. It's like keeping cows around, or horses, or rabbits. Some kind of animal I don't like, THAT'S what it's like. Haven't even bought a gift. I'm still self-centered enough to think that my showing up there is a gift unto itself, thank you very much. Whatev. I gotta get up in 4 hours, what the fuck am I still doing up?
Time for some ZEES.