Where in the world is Beefstick?
Well, definitely not at Kidd Valley on account of my being banned. Hey, don't tell me that your bacon cheeseburger has "more bacon than I'll need" when it is obvious you have no concept of what my baconary needs are. Until you can present evidence that you have been granted a PhD in Baconry, don't act like you're all "Dr. Fill". LOL! Did you see what I did there? I really should have my own show.
With summer approaching (as soon as "Juneuary" is over, lol!), it will soon be grilling season, and I need a new barbecuing monstrosity. One worthy of my grilling needs and demands. Anybody know of a good deal lurking out there or perhaps a specialty shop that may opened unbeknownst to me? I will not accept anything under 8 burners, so please don't waste my time like every unhelpful employee at Home Depot (more like Home despot, lol! I just thought that up just now!), Lowe's, Fred Meyer, etc, etc. Also, why can't I buy one that runs on high octane gasoline, instead of pussy-footing it with this propane. It's not even real gas. Can I run my lawnmower on it? NO. Can I fill up my car with it? NO. QUIT DICKING THE BEEFMEISTER AROUND!
My other "beef" this week is with all you tree-huggers who get all up in my "grill" (lol! hat trick!) about recycling, wasting food, blah blah blah. Well, while I may still not be recycling any bottles or cans, and I throw out anything I don't feel like eating along with used electronics, I did make one step of progress. A bunch of you light-loafered twinkies (mmmmmmm, Twinkies) got all panty-soiled when you found that I like to suck the filling out of Boston Cremes and toss the pastry part out. Some of you suggested I feed the local birds if I'm not going to eat it, others wanted me to donate it to homeless shelters (like they need MORE bread), etc. Well, while I am still throwing them away, I am "recycling" them in a way and saving our landfills from being overloaded with tissues. After sucking out the nutritious part, I found that I can use them while I masturbate to Nancy Grace each night, and "refill" them, lol! Anyway, so they would end up in the garbage anyway, and now aren't accompanied by a bunch of paper waste. So there. Put that in your bong and smoke it.
Alright, I gotta run and submit a complaint to Wendy's regarding their "Baconator". I think you can guess as to what's pulling my pig about that (lol! 4 in a row! Call me butter cuz I'm on a roll! BOOM! 5! LOL!).
With summer approaching (as soon as "Juneuary" is over, lol!), it will soon be grilling season, and I need a new barbecuing monstrosity. One worthy of my grilling needs and demands. Anybody know of a good deal lurking out there or perhaps a specialty shop that may opened unbeknownst to me? I will not accept anything under 8 burners, so please don't waste my time like every unhelpful employee at Home Depot (more like Home despot, lol! I just thought that up just now!), Lowe's, Fred Meyer, etc, etc. Also, why can't I buy one that runs on high octane gasoline, instead of pussy-footing it with this propane. It's not even real gas. Can I run my lawnmower on it? NO. Can I fill up my car with it? NO. QUIT DICKING THE BEEFMEISTER AROUND!
My other "beef" this week is with all you tree-huggers who get all up in my "grill" (lol! hat trick!) about recycling, wasting food, blah blah blah. Well, while I may still not be recycling any bottles or cans, and I throw out anything I don't feel like eating along with used electronics, I did make one step of progress. A bunch of you light-loafered twinkies (mmmmmmm, Twinkies) got all panty-soiled when you found that I like to suck the filling out of Boston Cremes and toss the pastry part out. Some of you suggested I feed the local birds if I'm not going to eat it, others wanted me to donate it to homeless shelters (like they need MORE bread), etc. Well, while I am still throwing them away, I am "recycling" them in a way and saving our landfills from being overloaded with tissues. After sucking out the nutritious part, I found that I can use them while I masturbate to Nancy Grace each night, and "refill" them, lol! Anyway, so they would end up in the garbage anyway, and now aren't accompanied by a bunch of paper waste. So there. Put that in your bong and smoke it.
Alright, I gotta run and submit a complaint to Wendy's regarding their "Baconator". I think you can guess as to what's pulling my pig about that (lol! 4 in a row! Call me butter cuz I'm on a roll! BOOM! 5! LOL!).