Kicked in the stomach by irony.
Well, I started my community service last week, and let's just say that I'll now be doing double my original sentence.
Long story short: I fucked up again.
However, I think after understanding the circumstances, you'll agree that it was pretty much out of my control.
I got assigned 100 hours of service. My first assignment was your basic "pick up garbage and condoms" patrol at Cowen Park in the U-District. That was NOT fun at all. Then again, I suppose it's not supposed to be. I also suppose I could use the word "suppose" more often, LOL!
Anyway, so that knocked off 10 hours, and with a similar shift emptying bedpans at a retirement home for Vikings in Ballard, I was already down to only 80 hours. Then things got ugly.
I was assigned duty at the Union Gospel Mission's soup kitchen to help feed the homeless. I liked this for several reasons including, but not limited to, it had to do with food, and it didn't involve vomit and semen (unless I chose to hug one of the customers). So after about an hour of going smoothly, a homeless woman complained that the soup was too hot and that she burned the roof of her mouth. I apologized and told her I wouldn't want that to happen to me. I turned down the heat on the gas burner and after 15 minutes, decided to give it the ol' temp-taste-test. Success! It was now the perfect temperature. It was also perfectly delicious and I hadn't eaten in over an hour (they have "scheduled breaks" if you know what I mean). At any rate, I'm guessing you can see where this headed. Yep, I ate the whole friggin' pot. Just picked it up and downed it. Actually, nobody would have been any wiser except that the woman who complained about the temperature ratted me out. AFTER she licked the soup drippings off my shirt that I spilled while eating. I mean, if you're gonna turn me in, at least have the courtesy to leave me with my leftovers!
Still, despite my reputation and general lack of control of myself around food, I still would like to think that the normal me wouldn't have done THIS. The normal me would have snuck out to Sub Shack or something and made a homeless person stand in my place until I got back. Depression will make you do crazy things.
I miss you, glytterpixiebat. :(
Long story short: I fucked up again.
However, I think after understanding the circumstances, you'll agree that it was pretty much out of my control.
I got assigned 100 hours of service. My first assignment was your basic "pick up garbage and condoms" patrol at Cowen Park in the U-District. That was NOT fun at all. Then again, I suppose it's not supposed to be. I also suppose I could use the word "suppose" more often, LOL!
Anyway, so that knocked off 10 hours, and with a similar shift emptying bedpans at a retirement home for Vikings in Ballard, I was already down to only 80 hours. Then things got ugly.
I was assigned duty at the Union Gospel Mission's soup kitchen to help feed the homeless. I liked this for several reasons including, but not limited to, it had to do with food, and it didn't involve vomit and semen (unless I chose to hug one of the customers). So after about an hour of going smoothly, a homeless woman complained that the soup was too hot and that she burned the roof of her mouth. I apologized and told her I wouldn't want that to happen to me. I turned down the heat on the gas burner and after 15 minutes, decided to give it the ol' temp-taste-test. Success! It was now the perfect temperature. It was also perfectly delicious and I hadn't eaten in over an hour (they have "scheduled breaks" if you know what I mean). At any rate, I'm guessing you can see where this headed. Yep, I ate the whole friggin' pot. Just picked it up and downed it. Actually, nobody would have been any wiser except that the woman who complained about the temperature ratted me out. AFTER she licked the soup drippings off my shirt that I spilled while eating. I mean, if you're gonna turn me in, at least have the courtesy to leave me with my leftovers!
Still, despite my reputation and general lack of control of myself around food, I still would like to think that the normal me wouldn't have done THIS. The normal me would have snuck out to Sub Shack or something and made a homeless person stand in my place until I got back. Depression will make you do crazy things.
I miss you, glytterpixiebat. :(