My, nickels have turned to white, theres not turning back tonight, so KISS me one last time!!!!!!!!
I am falling apart, i dont know what to do...
yesterday was by far one of the hardest days of my life....
when i left aaron sunday i said something to him that really pissed him off, but if i knew that it was the last time i was going to get to be along with him i would have NEVER EVER EVER said that, and i wish i could take it back....
so monday came i hadnt heard from him yet and i was thinking he didnt want to see me so i hung out with annie and duffy for about 2 hours then just went home and cried to myself in my bed... but then he called... i was tryin so hard to act like i wasnt crying and he said that he was somewhere with nolan and that he had to go to his meeting thing and stuff but that i could go to dinner with him and his family that night.... well i was sooo upset when i got off the phone because its really hitting me that hes leaving so i just went to hannahs, crying the whole way there, and just talked to her for a while, she cheered me up, and i fell asleep in her bed for a little while... then miss annie called and i just went back over there for a few....
then aaron called and i went to his house, nolan me and him drove in my car while his rents and bro took theirs and we went to get him checked into his hotel. well when we got there there ended up being some meeting he had to go to at 7 so he went to that as we wait over an hour for him.... then we went to dinner, im actually okay through all of this, we went back to his hotel at 9:30 and played eukear (sp?) because he had to be in his room BY 11, everything started off okay, till this one fucking ass hole of a guy decided to walk by and say aaron 20 more minutes, and it hit me so hard, i got sooo quiet, and sad, and i was trying so hard to hold it in.... we stopped play at 10:45, and we walked to the front, i just stood off to the side as he said by to his parents and bro and stuff.... when my turn came i fell apart, he wrapped his arms around me and i grabbed him sooo tight, i didnt want to let go, i couldnt speak, i just cried in his arms. i looked at him twice, thats all i could do, i kissed him twice and once on the neck and then i just had to let go...
its just sooo hard.... i know im going to get through this and we will always be in eachothers lives, but i feel like we are forced to rather then wanting too. i wont get to talk to him for 6 weeks, i can write him as much as i want to but he cant respond back to me.... im going to need him sooo much this next month, hes one of my best friends, and i wont be able to even get a letter from him...
well this is making me really sad so im going to go
~*Rachael*~
yesterday was by far one of the hardest days of my life....
when i left aaron sunday i said something to him that really pissed him off, but if i knew that it was the last time i was going to get to be along with him i would have NEVER EVER EVER said that, and i wish i could take it back....
so monday came i hadnt heard from him yet and i was thinking he didnt want to see me so i hung out with annie and duffy for about 2 hours then just went home and cried to myself in my bed... but then he called... i was tryin so hard to act like i wasnt crying and he said that he was somewhere with nolan and that he had to go to his meeting thing and stuff but that i could go to dinner with him and his family that night.... well i was sooo upset when i got off the phone because its really hitting me that hes leaving so i just went to hannahs, crying the whole way there, and just talked to her for a while, she cheered me up, and i fell asleep in her bed for a little while... then miss annie called and i just went back over there for a few....
then aaron called and i went to his house, nolan me and him drove in my car while his rents and bro took theirs and we went to get him checked into his hotel. well when we got there there ended up being some meeting he had to go to at 7 so he went to that as we wait over an hour for him.... then we went to dinner, im actually okay through all of this, we went back to his hotel at 9:30 and played eukear (sp?) because he had to be in his room BY 11, everything started off okay, till this one fucking ass hole of a guy decided to walk by and say aaron 20 more minutes, and it hit me so hard, i got sooo quiet, and sad, and i was trying so hard to hold it in.... we stopped play at 10:45, and we walked to the front, i just stood off to the side as he said by to his parents and bro and stuff.... when my turn came i fell apart, he wrapped his arms around me and i grabbed him sooo tight, i didnt want to let go, i couldnt speak, i just cried in his arms. i looked at him twice, thats all i could do, i kissed him twice and once on the neck and then i just had to let go...
its just sooo hard.... i know im going to get through this and we will always be in eachothers lives, but i feel like we are forced to rather then wanting too. i wont get to talk to him for 6 weeks, i can write him as much as i want to but he cant respond back to me.... im going to need him sooo much this next month, hes one of my best friends, and i wont be able to even get a letter from him...
well this is making me really sad so im going to go
~*Rachael*~